How He Asked | Natasha + Tim

The first week of their junior year at the University of Minnesota, Natasha met Tim during a series of daily events put on by St. Paul’s Outreach and wondered how she’d spent the two years prior not having known this man who was intelligent and well-spoken, with a clear love for the Lord. Tim made it clear he was interested in pursuing more. But only a week earlier, Natasha had entered into a long-distance relationship with someone else.

In Tim’s words: The night I met Natasha, she was the only girl who volunteered for a heavy-lifting job in the warehouse we were working in. I was thinking to myself, Who is this beautiful girl, involved with her faith, and who seems so tough (even in a hairnet)? We worked at the same station that night, giving us plenty of time to talk, and I was quickly head over heels. I was captivated by the way Natasha spoke with passion and conviction about everything from her major to her world travels to her faith.

To say it was difficult to hear that she was already in a relationship would be a massive understatement. How could this be from God? I thought. I had a such strong inclination I was meant to marry Natasha, even in such a short time, that it seemed cruel to have met her only to have her be unavailable. But the Lord was asking me to trust his will for our lives, regardless of what I wanted, and in in the time when I wanted it. Despite getting turned down, we became fast friends and grew to know each other better over the next few years.

In Natasha’s words: Our friendship continued developing through our involvement in SPO in college We saw each other nearly every day, and Tim honored his promise to want the best for me, even if it wasn’t him.

When my relationship ended, Tim had to love me again from a distance while I took time to heal and grow closer to the Lord. We didn’t always get it right. There was so much discernment along the journey. It seemed when one of us was ready, the other pulled back. But by Christmas of our senior year, I knew Tim was someone I didn’t want to adventure through life without. He had proven he was unabashedly committed to drawing me closer to the Lord. He was a man with his priorities in order.

Here’s an example: my roommates and I had decided to set aside a period each morning of not having men in the house so that we could say morning prayer together and get ready comfortably. As a result, each morning of senior year Tim--who lived across the street--would wait for me on the sidewalk outside my house to begin the 20-minute walk to campus together. He waited even in the rain, snow, or when I forgot what time it was and left him out there a little too long. I began to cherish these early morning visits, which would frequently include stopping for coffee. It was during these walks that I began to understand the honorable man Tim is.

Tim: God allowed me that early time as Natasha's friend to see so many sides of her and grow deeper in love with the person she is. So when we began dating, I knew I’d one day ask her to marry me, but I didn't have a specific plan in mind. One day, she casually mentioned that she thought New Years would be such a romantic time to get engaged. This was in early December, with New Years weeks away, and we hadn't even looked at rings yet. With a little creativity and some help from her family, I was determined to pull off a New Year's Eve surprise.

Natasha : On New Year's Eve of 2016, Tim took me to our now-alma mater for a fancy New Year's dinner, followed by plans to meet my sister for ice skating. My sister was mysteriously running late, so Tim suggested we recreate our senior year and walk through campus in the snow. On that walk, in the central park of campus, Tim asked me if I would marry him and do him the honor of going on a life-long adventure to heaven together. Saying yes was easy--for me, the hardest decision of the night was choosing between freezing my fingers or covering up my beautiful ring with my gloves!

I thought we were the only ones back at the university that cold night, but much to my surprise, my sister came crawling out of the bushes after the proposal, where she’d been taking pictures! I had always said I would love both of our families to be present following a proposal to celebrate with us, but Tim told me our families couldn't make it due to holiday plans. Instead, he said, he had arranged a table for us, along with my sister and brother in-law, at one of our favorite St. Paul restaurants, W.A. Frost, which also happened to be the location of our first official date. When we arrived, we were greeted by a table of familiar faces. As it turned out, our families’ holiday plans were celebrating with us! We rang in the New Year with people we loved, excited for our future.

The journey to our relationship has, truthfully, been really, really hard sometimes. Tim was always so sure of me and of his intentions, but it didn't come as easily for me. I struggled with doubt and that I was deserving of this amazing man. I wanted to be in a relationship with Tim, but was stuck in the trap of believing God's will is always the opposite of our own.

I remember speaking to a priest about my reservations. He said, "If you believe you are not worthy of the good things God has for you, then you are making a mockery of his crucifixion. He didn't die so that we could wallow in self-pity; he died so that we might have life and have it more abundantly! So accept his mercy and love, and live in his Resurrection." Talk about some tough love. But it opened my heart to accept the love that God, and ultimately Tim, had for me.

Regardless of what lies ahead in our life together, I am excited to be walking with Tim towards heaven. He has proven to be the perfect steady counter to my sometimes doubtful and sassy heart.

Tim reminds me of Christ's love by drawing me out of myself, always encouraging me to go further in my relationship with God, and he shines back a reflection of how he sees me when I need encouragement.

And when my weak heart needs reminding, Tim is a physical reminder that God is a good, good father wanting nothing but the best things for his children.

Photography: Sarah Ascanio Photography | Engagement Location: University of Minnesota, Minneapolis, MN | Engagement Photo Location: Banning State Park, Sandstone, MN | Ring: Shane Co.

Betrothal Ceremony | Danielle + Jeff

You may remember Danielle and Jeff from their "How He Asked" feature, published in June. Today, we're excited to share with you their betrothal ceremony, a traditional Catholic rite of blessing for engaged couples. If you're not familiar with the Rite of Betrothal, read on to find out what it is, how it's done, and why they are increasingly popular amongst young Catholics. 

In Danielle's words: On Sunday, March 12, 2017, Jeff and I arranged for the priest at St. Joseph Catholic Church in Miesville, MN, to celebrate the Solemn Rite of Betrothal for us after Mass in the Extraordinary Form. It only lasted about 15 minutes, but it was a beautiful little ceremony for blessing our engagement.

For those who are not familiar, the Rite of Betrothal, in the Catholic Church, is a free, mutual, true promise, vocally expressed between a man and woman who pledge themselves for future marriage to one another. It is a praiseworthy tradition to have a Catholic couple’s engagement solemnized and blessed by the Church. Although it is not a sacrament, it is a sacramental and a canonically binding agreement between both parties.

Since we wished to enter into this agreement, Jeff and I went up to the communion rail to meet the priest once Mass had ended. Then the priest began the ritual with song and prayer. He said,

Beloved of Christ: It is the dispensation of Divine Providence that you are called to the holy vocation of marriage. For this reason you present yourselves today before Christ and His Church, before His sacred minister and the devout people of God, to ratify in solemn manner the engagement bespoken between you.

The priest continued with his allocution and then asked us to join our right hands together.

The priest asked for us to repeat after him, starting with Jeff.

Jeff, holding my hand, looked at me very lovingly, and said,

In the name of our Lord, I, Jeff Rother, promise that I will one day take thee, Danielle Duet, as my wife, according to the ordinances of God and holy Church. I will love thee even as myself. I will keep faith and loyalty to thee, and so in thy necessities aid and comfort thee; which things and all that man ought to do unto his espoused I promise to do unto thee and to keep by the faith that is in me.

Then, looking into Jeff’s eyes, I said,

In the name of our Lord, I, Danielle Duet, in the form and manner wherein thou hast promised thyself unto me, do declare and affirm that I will one day bind and oblige myself unto thee, and will take thee, Jeffrey Rother, as my husband. And all that thou hast pledged unto me I promise to do and keep unto thee, by the faith that is in me.

After, the priest took the two ends of his stole and in the form of a cross placed them over our clasped hands. Then he declared us betrothed and sprinkled holy water over us in the form of a cross. Afterward, he blessed my engagement ring. 

Jeff took the ring and placed it on my index finger saying, "In the name of the Father," then on my middle finger, "and of the Son," and finally placing it on my ring finger, "and of the Holy Spirit. Amen." The priest finished the readings for the Rite of Betrothal and two witnesses came up to sign the document, along with our signatures and that of the priest.

It was a beautiful moment for us and I am very happy we chose to participate in this holy tradition of the Church. I believe it has added abundant blessings and graces to our engagement, which I firmly believe will continue manifest even more fully once we enter into the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony.

Photography: Alyssa Michelle Photography | Church: St. Joseph Catholic Church, Miesville, Minnesota | Engagement Ring: Gittelson Jewelers 

How He Asked | Danielle + Jeff

How He Asked | Danielle + Jeff

Danielle and Jeff grew up 1300 miles from each other, in Florida and Minnesota, respectively. By the time they met at the University of St. Thomas during grad school, Jeff was in seminary, though he’d recently discerned he wasn’t called to continue with formation for the priesthood. They’d cross paths within the same group of friends here and there, but Danielle was surprised and hesitant when, the following year, Jeff made it clear he’d like to actively pursue her heart.

 In Danielle’s Words: I wasn’t initially sure how I felt about Jeff, because there wasn’t an immediate attraction. For us, the attraction grew as we got to know each other. After a few dates and receiving flowers and notes in the mail, I decided I would give Jeff a chance and become his girlfriend.

That was the best decision I ever made.

Though I didn’t have all the answers and there were still many uncertainties, I trusted God and he blessed our relationship. Jeff and I continue to help each other grow in our faith, and I’ve certainly learned much more about the Church since we’ve been together. At the start of our relationship, we began going to Mass together in the Extraordinary Form and found so much beauty within this tradition. All of a sudden it became a habit, and we found ourselves attending the Latin Mass at the same church every Sunday. 

Fast forward to three years later. 

It was a Saturday morning in February. I was up, getting ready, and putting my makeup on as I waited for Jeff to pick me up for a visit to his sister, Christine’s--the night before, Christine had texted me asking if we could meet up for her to give me something. Once we were in the car, Christine called asking if we could change our meeting location, to Jeff’s brother Jeremy’s house near our parish. As we were driving to what I thought was Jeremy’s house, Jeff was actually taking me to our church to pop the question!

Although I didn’t know Jeff had been planning to propose that day, I’d seen this coming for a long time. Both of us had long known we were called to marriage, yet until recently, neither of us had the money or stable income to move forward with our life together. After many novenas and prayers, Jeff had just found a great job working for the Archdiocese of St. Paul and Minneapolis. Soon after starting his new position, he began planning a surprise proposal.

When Jeff pulled into the church parking lot, I was so confused. He asked if we could stop in for a quick prayer. We walked in together; he took the lead. I followed Jeff to a front pew.

After praying, Jeff handed me a colorful picture book, telling me me to open it and explore our memories together. As I flipped through the pages, I saw the course of our relationship. Family. Friends. Good times together.

I turned to the last page. Written there was Will you be my everything? At that moment my heart was racing! I was overcome with emotion, but Jeff remained calm and asked me to stand. He pulled a small black box from his pocket with a white gold ring inside.

After sharing a long, loving embrace, Jeff asked me if I wanted to wear the ring and I nodded with anticipation. Christine met us in the front of the church. She was in on the ruse the whole time and had been taking photos from the choir loft. It was one of the most joyful moments of our lives.

Photography: Alyssa Michelle Photography | Proposal Location: St. Joseph Catholic Church, Miesville, Minnesota | Engagement Ring: Gittelson Jewelers | Engagement Photoshoot: Como Park Zoo & Conservatory

How He Asked | Jocelyn + Cheyne

Cheyne was friends with Jocelyn’s older brother, and when they met her sophomore year, she quickly developed a crush. After Cheyne graduated, they didn’t see each other again until four years later, on a hike with mutual friends. Five years after that, Cheyne came into the coffee shop where Jocelyn worked, and the rest is history.

In Jocelyn’s words: When Cheyne and I reconnected in the coffee shop, we began a journey together that I now know was the beginning of my walk through this life--and eventually eternal life--with my future husband.

 The day of our proposal was Cheyne’s birthday. I’d planned a dinner with his closest friends and family, but little did I know something else was stirring up! On my way to pick up Cheyne at his apartment, he left a voicemail saying he’d gone out and would be right back. When I arrived, a piece of paper hung on the door. It told me I was going to begin a scavenger hunt, and at the end he’d meet me.

 My heart knew right away what was happening. I just began to cry tears of joy. Cheyne left a key with instructions. I entered the apartment, where wildflowers covered the living room. On the coffee table sat a picture of us, along with Clue Number One, which led me to the place of our first kiss. When I pulled up there, my best friend was waiting with Clue Number Two.

It brought me to the spot where Cheyne asked me to be his girlfriend, and was followed by a third clue leading to a cafe where we used to talk, read, and dream about our future together. My friends were there, holding a book Cheyne had made with the next clue.

 This clue brought me to the chapel at the University of Redlands, where we have often prayed together. My parents were at the front of the chapel, standing proud with tears in their eyes. I was overwhelmed with complete joy!  

My parents led me inside, where Cheyne was waiting. He walked me down the aisle, adorned with pictures of each of us as children and ending with photos from our adult years and relationship.

Cheyne had written an original choral piece with the lyrics, "I have found the one whom my soul loves," sung in Latin. I turned around, and with our friends and family sat in the pews, Cheyne got down on one knee and said, "You are my best friend and my soulmate. Will you do forever with me?"

 God has blessed me with this man and I cannot wait to begin our discernment of Holy Matrimony together. We have been drenched in his faithfulness and provision, and each time we reflect back on our story, still being written by our loving Author, we are moved to tears. I prayed for this man. God brought me more than I could have ever imagined. Our prayer is that in this next season we are reminded of his plan for our marriage, that we are rooted firmly in the Gospel as our center, and that our union would bring him glory. 

In Cheyne’s words: Jocelyn looked over at me from behind the safety of her older brother, with a sense of wonderment and innocence, the first time we locked eyes. It was that moment, now ten years ago, that without a single word spoken we made a connection. She still looks at me that way, as if each day begins with the first moment we met.

 We never seemed to go far from that road we first walked together. From the night hike where we met again after high school, to the late night chats that followed, I always felt a sense that Jocelyn was nearby, even when we we apart. Since high school we had watched each other grow. Through the good and the bad I saw strength, stability, and independence in her. Throughout my growth, she saw ambition, passion, and a longing for more. But we both saw a bit of ourselves within each other. My victories were hers. Her woes were mine. I found glory in her triumphs; she found sorrow in my pain. And this was as friends!

 Through it all, we waited on one another. We left space, left words unspoken and feelings untold, but our story was far from over. Something kept us close and reminded us that the home we sought so dearly was always there, waiting. I'm reminded of the days we almost crossed paths, and it is easy to become envious of the man I could have been had we taken steps closer to one another earlier in life. Like the time Jocelyn came to my dorm room and left a note, fully aware I could be sleeping on the other side of the wall. Or the many, many times that we spent time with the same crowd, but somehow seemed to always miss each other. Although I envy that young man who could have found his love so early on, I also take comfort in knowing that providence would have us wait to know it was each other when the time was right.

 It's strange how things work out, and how life has a way of piecing itself together. Like a puzzle, each moment in our lives fits within a beautiful picture, but without each moment the picture would never be complete--we'd be left with meaningless pieces. I can’t begin to count the pieces that drew me closer to Jocelyn.

 Every major decision I've made in life has kept me close to her, and for that I am grateful. We reconnected when Jocelyn’s passion for coffee brought her to the place we now call home. From the small town of Redlands, California came Augie’s Coffee Roasters, a company that has made a big impact the industry. When I saw that Jocelyn had started working for Augies’ new location near our hometown, I knew I needed to reach out. We started talking on the phone for hours each night, growing closer and closer. When we finally saw each other again for the first time it was like re-connecting with a long lost love and friend. I knew so early on that she was the who held my heart and soul.  

Three months after we became a couple, I’d already bought a ring. I kept my proposal plans secret for months as I waited and planned and found the right time to bring everyone in our lives together. Seeing Jocelyn walk through the chapel doors at the end of the scavenger hunt reminded me why I love her more each day. I count my blessings that I have found someone with such a deep love and appreciation for me, and who brightens my life in every moment.

Photography: Rae and Michael Photography | Proposal Location: University of Redlands - Redlands, California | Ring: Kay Jewelers

How He Asked | Susanna + Brad

Susanna and Brad met in college, and despite a deepening friendship and eventual dates, Susanna remained uncertain about her feelings for Brad. Thankfully, the Lord gave the couple a second chance, and after two more years of friendship, the couple fell in love during a trip to Rome for a mutual friend's ordination, hence the reason they had their gorgeous engagement photos taken in the Eternal City. 

In Susanna's words: I was not certain that Brad's and my relationship would end in marriage; after all, I had broken up with him once before! But after our time together in Rome, I knew that what was growing between us was something different, something new.

On November 23, 2015, I drove to 7:30a.m. mass at the Cathedral of Saint Paul in Minnesota to conclude my novena to Saint Joseph in his chapel. After praying the novena I simply sat with Joseph, hoping he would offer a few encouraging words--the definitive "turn around, your husband is standing right behind you" kind that most Catholic single women want to hear after praying a novena for their future spouse. Instead, St. Joseph remained very much in character and did not say much, though I did feel that he wanted me to be at peace in my day, knowing that he was with me.

As I stepped out of the chapel, I saw Brad in one of the front row pews. It was then that I had a feeling he would ask me out again. Sure enough, after Mass he nonchalantly began talking about how he was reading the book I recommended to him, Brideshead Revisited, and smoothly transitioned from talking about literature to saying, “when I finish the book, we will definitely have to get together to have drinks and discuss...but this time, I’d like to actually take you out to dinner. I know we’ve tried this one before, but I’d like to try it again.” I was trying to be suave and smooth too, but my heart filled with joy as I said “yes” to a second-first-date and I walked away from our conversation with my heart beating fast, a beaming smile on my face and a nervous giggle in my throat. 

In Brad's words: 

I proposed exactly a year after our "second first date" at High Cliff State Park. Susanna used to go there all the time growing up, we had gone there a handful of times together, and I knew that she loved going to pray by the water.

The night before proposing I was up late. I didn’t trust myself to remember everything I wanted to tell her before I asked her to marry me, so I wrote a letter. I figured that way I’d be able to say everything I wanted to, and she’d be able to keep it to read again later. The next morning I went to mass with my Mom at the Shrine of Our Lady of Good Help. Mary had played a big role in our relationship, and I wanted to go pray for her intercession as I asked Susanna to marry me.

When we got to the park, we started walking toward the marina. Now, for a little context, it was November in Minnesota, so it was about 40 degrees and drizzling. As we get to the shore, Susanna saw the stone breakwater and said, “Let’s go out there!” Before I could say, “That sounds like a horribly dangerous idea,” she was already on the rocks. About halfway out, she knew I didn’t love the idea, so she said we could stop there. In my head, I was thinking, “Absolutely not! If we’re halfway out here, I’m proposing out here! And I’m proposing at the END!” So we got to the end, I got down on one knee, and asked her to marry me!

And she said “Yes!” 

Our engagement has been so filled with grace. While we were dating, we grew close and shared a ton, but I think in the month after getting engaged we shared more than we had in the entire year of dating. 

Susanna and I decided to wait to get married until until October 14, 2017. We would’ve liked to get married sooner, but with my brother Greg’s diaconate ordination on September 28th, we couldn’t pass up the opportunity to have him witness our vows! 

Susanna's reflection on engagement: Brad is more than an example of God’s love for me:  God has chosen Brad to be the vessel by which I experience His love. Even when my spiritual life is dry and I feel Jesus’ silence, I am still able to tangibly feel the warmth of my Father’s love through Brad’s words, deeds, and hidden sacrifices. Because I am weak, I cling to these little reminders of God’s love that Brad shows me, and they help me to behold God with awe and wonder. They help me recall my responsibility to become a saint; of our responsibility to become saints, here and now, on this side of heaven.

Photography: Roberta of Flytographer Enterprises | Location: Rome | Engagement Ring: Gold n' Treasures

How He Asked | Sally + Matthew

From their first meeting, Sally and Matt knew the Lord was up to something, even if they both had reservations about the compatibility of a serious relationship and busyness of their lives, especially as Matt was just beginning medical school. Fortunately, they were both docile enough to the Holy Spirit to recognize that marriage was where God was calling them. Read on for a "his and hers" account of a love story only the Father could write. 

Sally: In January 2015 my friend Heather told me that a guy she knew from Mississippi State was back in Memphis and I should marry him. She said he was tall, handsome, and serious about his faith. I was sold. I jokingly proclaimed to my mom after meeting him once that. "I had found the man I was going to marry." Matt and I got to know each other during Bible studies, brunches, and other events with the young adult ministry at our church and I realized that I really did like this man. I was also pretty certain he liked me too! After weeks of nervous flirting at our weekly post-Mass brunch, I finally got tired of waiting for him to make a move (patience isn't my strong suit) and decided to ask him out via text message: 

"I know medical school is crazy busy and my job is just the same, but would you want to get dinner Wednesday night?"

Matt: This is the text message that left me looking at my ceiling, saying to God, "You think you're really funny, don't You?" I felt completely behind only three weeks into med school, and the girl I'd had a crush on since the day we met had just asked me out. Many have said, "If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him your plans." My plan at that time was to abstain from dating until med school was over, so that I wouldn't risk the inevitable heartbreak messing up my grades. I knew the second I saw her message that He was laughing at my plans, and that the answer to her invitation was supposed to be and was going to be a "yes."

Sally: It didn't take very long for us to realize we had found something really special. Our relationship had been marked from the very first date by honesty, kindness, and simplicity. It was clear to both us through prayer that God was calling us to the vocation of marriage. We just needed to trust Him and say "yes." By August 2016, I was anxious to know when the proposal would be and it didn't help that Nanny (my grandma) had made it all but clear that Matt had already asked for the family heirloom we would use as my engagement ring. Matt, however, had assured me the proposal wouldn't be for a while so I wasn't expecting it on a Thursday evening after an exhausting day at work. 

"Have no fear of moving into the unknown. Simply step out fearlessly knowing that I am with you, therefore no harm can befall you; all is very, very well. Do this in complete faith and confidence."

Matt: This quote by St. John Paul II was written on the front of the card Sally gave me for Christmas in 2015. I kept it on my nightstand for almost a year, and taped it to the door of her apartment on the day I proposed. I wanted her to have a heads up, because - until she saw the note and flower petals on the ground - she was under the impression that my car had broken down and I needed to borrow hers. After I stopped shaking and she figured out how to unlock her door, I proposed and we both moved into the unknown.

Sally: While engagement hasn't been perfect, it's been mostly just a huge gift to us. We've faced a number of challenges with my job and his school, and our first response to these stresses has been to go to our Lord in Eucharistic Adoration. Praying the Rosary together has probably become both of our favorite way to end a date. I feel extremely lucky to be marrying a man who pursues Jesus with such sincerity and I pray that this is only the beginning of a lifetime of love for each other and for our Lord, Jesus Christ.

 Kelly Ginn Photography | Overton Park and St. Peter Church - Memphis, TN

How He Asked | Elisa & Thomas

Elisa and Thomas met through Elisa's brother, dated for awhile, decided to stop dating, became good friends, eventually fell in love, and two years later began discerning marriage together. While Thomas remained hopeful that this would be the ending to their story, Elisa gave him plenty of opportunities to practice patience along the way. If you're a fan of unconventional love stories a la Anne of Green Gables, you'll enjoy reading theirs. 

In Elisa's words: My amazing husband-to-be, Thomas, and I met on September 5, 2014 after First Friday Adoration at St. Joseph’s parish in Washington, DC. My brother introduced us and it was attraction-at-first-sight. A few months later he asked me out and we went on a few dates. We definitely clicked, but both of us realized that God was not calling us to a dating relationship at that time. Thankfully, we discerned this early enough to continue spending time together in groups without (too much) awkwardness and our friendship grew. 

Fast forward to a little over a year after our first round of dating. The Lord had done a lot of work on me, and I had finally turned my dating life over to Him. I was praying more intentionally than ever for my future husband and I decided that unless I really felt like God was calling me to date someone, I was not going to date at all. Right around this time, Thomas asked me out for a picnic date. I knew I would have a wonderful time with him if I said yes, but I had just made this resolution and was committed to sticking to it, so I declined. He rolled with it, because he’s the best, and very smoothly asked me to have dinner "just as friends" instead. I readily agreed because, unbeknownst to me, I was already falling in love with him (it was all very Anne Shirley and Gilbert Blythe). 

For the next few months Thomas and I continued to spend time together in groups. I was more and more drawn to him and there were many times when it should have been obvious to me that I had feelings for him. But, for His own mysterious purposes, the Holy Spirit kept me blindfolded to the fact that I was falling in love with one of my best friends. 

On September 17, 2016, I began a Novena to Our Lady Undoer of Knots for several intentions, but mostly for God's will to be done in my life and the lives of others I care for. On the 9th day of the Novena, the Holy Spirit, in His perfect timing, removed the blindfold and I realized I loved Thomas and didn’t want to live without him. I was so at peace that this was the relationship Our Lord was calling me to. 

I called him the next day and asked if his offer still stood. He said yes (EEEEKKK!!!!) and that night we met at Adoration at our parish to begin a novena to St. Joseph asking for his intercession as we began to discern God’s will for our lives together. 

My husband-to-be also happens to be a wonderful musician. About a month into our courtship, he sent me a song that he had written about us before we started dating. The chorus: 

Oh I can feel a change coming quickly
Will you and I start again and
Embrace the Mystery?

I asked him when he had written the song and he told me September 17. That was the day I began the Novena to Our Lady Undoer of Knots. When he told me the date he wrote the song, it finally hit home for me that Our Lord is in every detail of our lives, stitching together an incredibly intricate, beautiful plan that we could never dream up for ourselves: “Nothing is impossible for God” (Luke 1:37). 

Thomas finished writing the song a few days after he shared the beginning of it with me. He recorded it for me as a Christmas present because he is just that wonderful. Whenever I listen to it, I am reminded of the Holy Spirit’s presence in our relationship. It is such a blessing.  

Four and a half months after we started dating, Thomas orchestrated the most perfect proposal of all time. I'll let him tell that story.

In Thomas' Words:  In March of 2016 my work sent me to London for a 6-month business trip. I knew that God would use this time away from friends and family to help me grow and lead me closer to my Vocation, but I never would have guessed how.

My first stop en-route to London was Dublin, Ireland for St. Patrick’s day. It was here that I made the decision to marry Elisa without even knowing it. As I sat in my AirBnB on the eve of St. Patrick’s feast, I wrote in my journal: 

If marriage is my vocation, I could see myself marrying Elisa.

Elisa and I were simply friends at this point, so why write that I would marry her? As Elisa pointed out, the Holy Spirit and Our Lady were already weaving our lives together. 

After Dublin I went to Koln, Germany for a few meetings and then shipped off to London for what I thought was going to be a 6-month stint. At the London border I was stopped, detained for 12 hours, and extradited from the country – the original “Brexit.” After spending Holy Week in Rome I went back to the States, confident God had a better plan in mind for me. 

During the six months that followed my unscheduled return from London, God’s plan for my life continued to unfold and my trust that Elisa and I were meant to be together grew. I got creative in figuring out as many ways to spend time with her as I could since Elisa was not yet ready to date. This included but was not limited to: moving 6 blocks away from her, camping with friends, baseball games, offering her rides to parties, getting a ticket right next her at Phantom of the Opera, etc.

About a week before Elisa and I started dating, I was inspired by the Holy Spirit to write a song about our relationship. I was sure we were on the cusp of a new chapter for both of our lives. Nine days later I started dating the most beautiful, holy and hilarious woman I know, and after four months of dating I was sure I wanted to make that woman my wife. 

How I asked: 

Getting permission. Arguably the most nerve-racking part of the proposal process. My future father and mother-in-law live in Texas, so as much as I wanted to, I wasn’t going to be able to ask in person. Elisa’s mother asked me a few pointed questions regarding my intentions only a couple weeks before, so requesting permission over the phone was suitable. I ran a couple wind sprints, did a few push-ups, and called Elisa’s father, receiving permission. Nerve-racking step #1 complete. 

Finding the right ring. He didn’t go to Jared’s, but she still said yes! My parents generously gave me my grandmother’s ring from the 1920s which I had re-set in platinum. This was one of the sneakier aspects of the proposal planning process as I had to get creative so Elisa wouldn’t find out I was checking on her bling. Elisa shared with me post proposal that she wanted a vintage, heirloom ring. Yet another instance of God’s providence. 

Planning and executing the proposal. 
I chose to propose in front of the Mary statue at St. Peter’s on Capitol Hill for a number of reasons:

1. Elisa works at St. Peters so she and I have spent many hours praying there together for our friends, our families, and each other. 

2. When Elisa and I started dating in September, we decided to pray the St. Joseph Novena (highly recommend) which we completed in front of the St. Joseph statue as St. Peter’s. It was here, in front of the statue on the last day of the novena, that I told Elisa for the first time that I loved her. 

3. Both Elisa and I have had devotions to Our Lady for most of our lives. We know she has interceded for us from day one and was very instrumental in bringing us together. 

Nine days before I popped the question, I asked Elisa to pray an “Our Lady Undoer of Knots” novena with me. Bookending the courting period with a couple of OLUK novenas felt like the right move. On the night of the proposal I met Elisa at St. Peters to finish our novena, with two white roses in hand for the Blessed Mother. 

I asked the pastor of St. Peter’s to move the kneelers in front of the Mary altar and turn off the lights except those above the altar: Pro tip – Good lighting is crucial to any successful proposal. My sister snuck in the back of the Church with my guitar, Elisa and I prayed the rosary, and my heart reached a new high for BPMs. After we finished our prayers I took Elisa by the hands, got down on one knee and asked her to by my wife. She squealed “yes!” and I serenaded her with the song I wrote nine days before we started dating.

Photography: Paul Padgett, Thomas' Brother-in-Law | Location: St. Peter's on Capitol Hill, Washington DC

How He Asked | Brooke + Tim

Note: A version of this story was previously published on For Your Marriage

Brooke and Tim met in 8th grade and became fast friends, but didn't begin dating until their junior year of high school. Unbeknownst to Brooke, Tim had liked her since their first meeting in middle school, but Brooke was hesitant to start a relationship and ruin the friendship.  "While that fear weighed on one part of my heart," Brooke recalls, "another, and stronger, part of my heart told me that if Timmy and I ever started dating, we'd never stop. That would be it, we would spend the rest of our lives together. As amazing and accurate as that intuition was, it scared 16-year-old me. Was I ready to start my journey with the person I would spend the rest of my life with? Then, one night we were talking about our futures and the kind of people we thought we'd eventually marry, and it suddenly dawned on me that Timmy was that person that I saw by my side at every stage of my life. We had our first date a week later, and the rest is history. "

Birds of a Feather Photography

In Brooke's words: We knew by our one year anniversary that God was undoubtedly calling us to marry one another. The next four years though consisted of us going to different colleges, learning how cultivate our relationship even though we saw each other only once or twice a month, and allowing God to shape us into radically different people than we were when we became best friends at 13. Over those years, even as God worked in our hearts to make us more into the man and woman He has destined us to be, we grew closer and deeper in love. Developing a shared spiritual and prayer life was a major area of growth during this time, though the distance made it hard - a major focus of our prayer life has always been the love Christ showed for His Bride on the Cross. It is that sacrificial, self-denying, and painful yet beautiful love that carried our relationship through its college years. 

It was so fitting, then, that it was the Good Friday (which was also the Feast of the Annunciation!) of our senior year when Timmy dropped to one knee and asked me to be his bride. We started off Good Friday with a tradition that we've been doing for a number of years now - praying the Stations of the Cross for Married Couples and Families. While we obviously knew that we were neither of those things, that is the vocation we were preparing our hearts for, and so the prayers were helpful to us in understanding what the true call of the cross is. After praying the stations we went to Good Friday Liturgy, followed by praying the Divine Mercy Chaplet.

As we were walking back to my Residence Hall Timmy asked if I wanted to go pray in our favorite chapel in The Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception- the Mary, Queen of All Hearts Chapel, which is dedicated to St. Louis de Montfort and his Marian Consecration. We've prayed here many times throughout our years in college and Marian Consecration has played a huge role in our relationship- and so, I thought, what a perfect spot that would be for him to ask me to marry him...after getting my hopes up I came to realize that I was wrong, and Timmy would not be proposing there.

We walked out of the Basilica and I was almost in tears when Timmy said, "Hey you wanted to see the Cherry Blossoms right? Lets go say a Rosary in Mary's Garden later." We ended up going at sunset and as we walked into Mary's Garden I saw framed pictures of us from every year that we have been in each other's lives set up all around the garden, each with a rose in front of it. At the far end, in front of the statue of Mary, was an empty picture frame with a bouquet of roses before it.

Timmy led me to the statue of Mary, turned me to face him, smiled, and said "Brooke Alexis Paris, you've been the perfect sister to me, will you be my bride?" The sweetest nod there ever was to the Song of Songs, which we've prayed over many, many times throughout our relationship. He then got down on one knee and presented me with a ring. I kissed him, said yes and then shouted "We're engaged!" 

One of my best friends, a few of his, and his sister, who had been hiding in the bushes appeared at that point, as well as two professional photographers who had stumbled upon Timmy's friends setting up the photos and asked if they could shoot our proposal (for free!). God's providence is amazing, y'all. Looking back on it, his proposal was perfect. We spent the whole day in prayer, engaging in spiritual traditions that we're so important to our relationship, and turning our hearts towards the sacrificial love of Christ that we have now promised to embody for each other for the rest of our lives. We set our wedding date for June 30, 2017 and cannot wait to enter into the Sacrament!

A bit about our engagement photos: We did our engagement session in Old Town Alexandria, Virginia. Even though I live in DC right now, we're both born and bred Virginians and so we had to cross over into VA territory to capture these beautiful photos. We absolutely adore Old Town and have celebrated many anniversaries and other occasions in the heart of the Old Town cobblestone streets. 

The session felt like taking a casual stroll in Old Town while taking in the gorgeous fall weather that we were blessed with that day. Before the session we sat down in a gelato shop to talk about some of the things we're looking forward to and what matters most to us about our wedding day. It was such a great opportunity to let our photographers know where our hearts were at and to communicate to them how strongly we feel about our Wedding Liturgy being the highlight of our day. We were also able to brainstorm some ways to make our wedding day timeline the best for us as the bride and groom but also the best for all of our guests, who we are so excited to spend the most time possible with!

Brooke's advice for engaged couples: Balancing planning a wedding with preparing for marriage is no easy task! It is so easy to get caught up in tablecloths, center pieces and cake flavors (or in our case, pie!). For us, spreading out planning our wedding liturgy and our marriage prep sessions over the course of our engagement has helped us balance the wedding details with readying our hearts for the sacrament. One week we'll be focused on place-card settings and then the next we're focused on choosing a prayer for a particular part of the Mass. It has been so fun jumping back and forth!

How He Asked | Janae + Ryan

We recently featured Janae and Ryan's beautiful Texas summer wedding and were delighted when they also submitted their engagement story. Janae and Ryan's met on their university tennis team, where their shared love of Jesus and tennis brought them together--even though Ryan was not yet Catholic. Through Janae's prayers, love, and a book by Scott Hahn, Ryan entered RCIA and entered the Church a year before their engagement. When he proposed to Janae, he chose to do so at the shrine where he made his first Confession, and we can't think of a more romantic spot for a proposal!

In Ryan's words: Janae and I met on the UT Tyler tennis team. From the time Janae and I started dating I knew it was part of God’s Divine plan. Faith had very little to do with my life the few years prior to us dating. My sophomore year in college I began to truly experience the mercy of God when my roommate and I went to Bible study. This is when I began to really encounter Him, and when He began the healing process in me. I opened up to those closest to me about my journey and my past, and the next day I went on a date with my future wife. 

Janae is holy, and made me strive to be holy! I was completely unworthy to deserve a chance to lead her, but she graciously trusted her heart to me. Janae and I dated for nearly two years before I proposed. It is crazy looking back how He used a completely incredible woman to sanctify me, and grow me. God held our hands and led us to marriage. Looking back, there is nothing more obvious in my entire life than that Jesus wanted Janae and me to be married.

However, there is a twist in this story that shows God’s providence. When Janae and I were dating she was Catholic, and I was Protestant. What bound us together was that we both loved Jesus. As we began to become more serious, we talked about how we wanted to raise a family in the same church. Out of respect for Janae, I began to look into Catholicism. 

While Janae went to Peru for a mission trip, I was spending time at home and making a long road trip to visit family. Janae decided to leave me the book Rome Sweet Home by Scott Hahn. This is where the twist in my spiritual journey began! I discovered so many new beauties to the faith that I was never aware of. I continued to read, discuss with my family, and soon couldn’t wait any longer! Six months later I joined RCIA and became Catholic on June 2nd, 2015. Since then, having access to Confession and the Eucharist has been unbelievable. I want others to feel the supernatural grace of the Sacraments and to experience God firsthand in the Catholic Church.

On July 3rd, 2015 Janae and I went to a Latin Mass at the Mission of Divine Mercy, the place I made my first Confession. The mission has beautiful grounds and a walking Stations of the Cross. After Mass, I led my beautiful bride to be down a path that led to an empty tomb with a cross. It was there that I asked her to be my teammate for a lifetime through the vocation of marriage. Looking back, I am glad I proposed at this particular place. The cross and the empty tomb symbolize the crux of the Christian story and our call as a married couple. The cross is the greatest symbol of love. Jesus suffered unimaginable pain and died in the most brutal fashion. Just as Jesus died for me, I offer the same sacrificial love to my wife. St. John Paul II wrote that “Spouses are the permanent reminder to the Church of what happened on the Cross; they are for one another and for others the witnesses to the salvation in which the sacrament makes them sharers”(Familiaris Consortio). Janae and I are bound together and united by this cross. God has placed a teammate and helpmate by my side to help me on my journey towards heaven. If I ever find myself on Calvary hill, I know Janae will be like my Veronica and be there to wipe away my tears, and I hope to be like her Simon of Cyrene and help carry her burdens. 

The biggest piece of advice I can give is to discuss everything and anything before marriage. This is person is going to be your best friend through life and it is important to establish that open line of communication. We are only a few months into marriage, and we are already seeing the joy and intimacy that came as a fruit of these conversations. It may not always be pretty or easy, but it is important to talk about the good, the bad, and the ugly! Also have those completely weird and random conversations. Express your hearts to each other often! Jesus works in those words.

In Janae's Words: 15 months ago Ryan gave me a pretty ring on my finger and endless joy in my heart but none of that compares to the joy of our Lord. Ladies, my advice is learn what it means to be the bride of Christ. It will teach you so much about becoming the bride of a man. 

Photo Credit: Brother of the bride | Engagement Location: Mission of Divine Mercy- New Braunfels, Tx

How He Asked | Katherine + Dominic

Katherine and Dominic lived in the same New Jersey town for almost their whole lives. They attended the same church, but their paths didn't cross until high school, where they began dating their senior year. During their college years at separate universities, they faithfully prayed God would guide them and keep them close.

In Katherine’s words: Believe it or not, Dominic and I met during a chemistry class in high school! Our friendship quickly blossomed, and we frequently got in trouble for talking and laughing during class. We stayed friends after Chemistry, but didn't have any classes together again until our senior year. I always looked forward to seeing Dominic with his family at Sunday Mass. From the very beginning of our senior year, Dominic walked me to my locker every day. A few months later, we both began to express our feelings for one another. Dominic asked me to be his girlfriend over a couple of ice cream cones, and we enjoyed the rest of high school attending prom and graduation activities.

Dominic attended St. Johns University in Queens, New York while I stayed in New Jersey to study at Seton Hall University. During these college years at separate universities, I faithfully prayed God would keep his hand on us. 

I often prayed for our relationship inside Seton Hall’s Chapel of the Immaculate Conception, my favorite spot on campus. The chapel has always been special to me: aside from being breathtakingly beautiful, it is where I decided that I would attend Seton Hall and is where I connected with God on a much deeper level and grew closer to Him during my college years. When Dominic proposed to me in that very chapel, I knew it was God’s way of showing me my prayers were being answered. Now, that beautiful sacred spot is not only special to me, but to both of us. 

In Dominic’s Words: Early on in our relationship, I knew Katherine was the girl I wanted to marry. I frequently prayed God would continue to guide us and reveal his plan for us, and felt strongly that his plan was for Katherine and I to become husband and wife.  

After getting the ring, there was only one thing left to do. On Father’s Day, while Katherine was out of town visiting family, I went to her house and asked her dad’s permission to marry her. After receiving her parents' blessing, I was ready to propose. 

I asked Katherine to attend daily Mass with me at the chapel she so loved at Seton Hall. We heard a brief but beautiful homily, comparing the facets of a diamond to the community of believers. I understood this as a sign from God that we were exactly where we were meant to be! When Mass ended, I asked Katherine to pray at the altar with me. Once we had said our prayer, Katherine stood up to leave. I got down on one knee and asked her to marry me. 

A few hours later, we learned that the day of our engagement, June 29th, is the feast day of Sts. Peter and Paul. This is a special day because Katherine’s grandpa’s name was Pedro, or Peter. He passed away 13 years ago. Since Pedro was our only grandparent who never got the opportunity to know us as a couple, we saw this as a sign of his blessing. Not to mention, the day that I asked Katherine’s father for permission, she was attending mass at the Parish of St. Peter and St. Paul in San Francisco, California with her cousins! God had all of the details worked out for us long ago.

Photography: Rachel Gallic Photography

How He Asked | Catie + Will

Catie and Will first crossed paths through a missions organization as she was beginning her service and he was completing his. Catie first heard Will's name as she was talking with coworkers about her love for health and natural medicine. Someone asked, "Have you met Will? You guys should talk about this stuff!"

Fast forward a few years, and Catie and Will had ended up working together and become friends. For a long time, it seemed like friendship would be the extent of their relationship. 

In Will's Words: “At last…” Adam’s first words in Genesis are words of a man who was searching, a man whose heart was longing to answer an echo heard in every waking moment and every dream. When he first saw woman, he knew “at last” that this creature would draw him into deeper understanding and deeper mystery—into finding himself and losing himself.

In October of 2015, I drove to Long Island to visit a few friends who were working there, one of whom was Catie. During my stay Catie and I found some time to sneak away to a café and catch up. I didn’t visit with an agenda, but I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t hoped for some time with her.

“If I’m being honest, I am more than interested in you” was written that night in a letter to her, which she wouldn’t read until much later. The following week, I called Catie to tell her how incredible she is and asked her out on a date. And from our fantastic first date on, I knew that this was special.

To think of our marriage discernment, I can think of two crucial elements: prayer and one important conversation over coffee last winter. We have tried to pray often, sometimes daily, and to make each other a priority even when the busyness of life makes that a challenge. But there was one day last winter where Catie truly won my heart. It was then that she shared with me the sacrifices she has made in her life for her future husband, and I shared similar sacrifices for my future wife.

I remember writing later, “Could this be real? I had almost stopped hoping for a love that was chaste and free existing in this world. I was wrong to doubt.” I felt the words traveling down through the generations: “At last.”

Eventually, I surprised Catie by flying down to Nashville while she was home with family and with friends from college. Her sisters were instrumental in getting her out of the house and into my proposal scheme. In a clearing in a park which overlooks the Nashville skyline, I waited for her. She laughed and asked, “What are you doing here?!” I told her why I love her and why I want her to be my wife, got down on one knee and asked her with all my heart to marry me. 

For me to get from the point of dating to the point of popping the question, I had to learn to live the tension and to be intentional. I actually learned these two matters from my bride-to-be. To live in the tension means to press into difficulty as a chance to grow. Chastity requires a tension between desire and self-control. Dating requires tension in the “not knowing yet” and restraint from making plans before their time. There is tension in veiling parts of the self early on and in having the courage to bare those parts when the time is right. There is tension when you discover that you disagree. We are learning to press into that; we are learning together to live intentionally. 

In Catie's Words: God knew the best place for me to get to know Will and be totally myself was the friend-zone. I can’t say enough, in hindsight, what a gift that time was. Then there was a period of time, once we no longer worked together, when I started hearing from him quite a bit more. Then one night at a party I caught him looking at me just a little bit differently than he had before. “Something is different with me and Will,” I told a girlfriend later. I had no idea what would happen, only that something would. 

It didn’t take long for us to start dragging one another on silly adventures, fun dates, runs in the park, road trips. One of the most surprising things to me was how natural and fun it was to fall in love with him. I can't believe just how steady he has been for me during the entire time of dating and engagement.

When we seriously started talking about the future, we decided we wanted to bathe our whole decision about whether to get married in prayer. St. Louis de Montfort’s consecration to Jesus through Mary had been an important step for each of us in our walks with Christ. So, we began. And, on the 33rd and final day of prayer--the feast of St. Maximilian Kolbe--Will flew down to Nashville to interrupt a girls’ weekend and surprise me with an engagement ring, complete with a perfectly orchestrated scheme involving my sisters and best friends. I honestly could not have planned it better myself. And of course, I had, in my head, many times. 

Engagement has been a season of fun, planning, challenge, self-discovery, and the list could go on and on. We are preparing to make the biggest and most final decision we will make in our entire lives. I have learned that love and marriage are not a romantic comedy, nor my own personal fulfillment project (learned that lesson from Fr. Mike Schmitz). I do, though, feel so lucky to be marrying this man who is teaching me so much about life and about the way that God loves me. It is affirming and purifying, humbling and healing. We view marriage as an important mission, and we are so excited to take it on.

Photography: Charlie & Co. 

How He Asked | Christina + Kristian

Christina had spent her twenties watching her college friends, cousins, younger siblings, and even former students get married before her. At 32, in a spirit of boldness and radical trust, she called upon the Lord to make her vocation crystal clear should she meet her future husband soon. In a move straight out of the Jane Austen playbook, Christina's mom employed a little matchmaking, and Kristian soon walked into her life.

In Christina's Words: You know how people always say that God's timing is perfect? When I was going through the doldrums of singleness, well-meaning friends and family would say stuff like, "God will bring your husband at the perfect time" or "It must not be time yet." That's all well and good and true, but it doesn't help much when you feel like God's been making you wait for years for your vocation to be made clear.

In any case, I'm now going to be that annoying person who says to all of you single ladies reading this: God's timing really is perfect. Yes, you may end up waiting until you're 32 (like me), or 39, or 45 or what have you until the right person comes into your life. But let me tell you: it is far better to wait on the Lord's timing than to try to force things to happen on your own time. I have several failed relationships and the accompanying unpleasant memories to prove it. I hope that my story of how my fiancé and I met, began dating, and soon after got engaged, will be a helpful reminder that God's ways are not our ways, and that is a very good thing.

The day before I met my future husband, a relationship I had desperately been trying to make work finally ended. It was difficult to let go of, even though God made it crystal clear that my ex wasn't the one for me. I remember crying out to the Lord that night, saying something like this:

Lord, I'm so tired. So tired of trying to make relationships work. Tired of passive men who don't know what they want. I'm just...tired. So, if you want me to get married, then you're going to have to make it really clear when the right man comes along. I need him to pursue me with conviction and without holding back. Otherwise, I'd rather be single for the rest of my life. Amen.

Some of the wording may have been slightly different, but that was the basic gist of my prayer. I was trying to take a page out of St. Therese's book and show some "holy boldness" in my relationship with the Lord. And boy did he listen.

The next day, I get a phone call from my mom. I was in San Diego with a dear friend and we were wandering around the gift shop at the Hotel del Coronado when my mom called. "Christina," she said breathlessly, "I met the perfect guy for you after Mass today!!" I started laughing incredulously--my mom has tried to set me up before with no success--and asked her to describe him. She told me a mutual friend of ours had introduced Kristian to her after Mass that morning, and that he was really cute and really Catholic and seemed actually normal and sociable.

Okay, I thought, this guy already sounds too good to be true.

Mom went on to tell me that she talked to him for about two minutes before she asked if he was single. He was. Then, she told him that she had a daughter who was 32 and single (that's me) and that she thought he would really like her. He smiled at her and laughed a bit, because he was no stranger to being set up by eager Catholic moms. Then she said something that, according to Kristian, convinced him to at least look me up on Facebook: "She's not desperate. She told me the other day that she's only going to date someone if it's really clear that it's God's will."

At this point, I was cracking up trying to imagine what Kristian was thinking as my mom was going on and on about her wonderful, amazing daughter who is TOTALLY NOT DESPERATE. My mom continued her story in spite of my laughter, saying that she really thought Kristian would contact me (Suuuure he will, I thought to myself) and to let her know if he did. I told her I would, but that she shouldn't get her hopes up; he was probably just humoring her.

After driving back to Phoenix from San Diego, I opened up my laptop to see that I had a friend request from Kristian. I accepted his friendship and promptly checked out his photos. I immediately noticed that he was indeed cute. Like, really cute. Five minutes later, he sent me a message introducing himself. In an attempt to play it cool, I didn't respond right away. Apparently this made him nervous, and a few minutes later he messaged me again apologizing if he had creeped me out. I took pity on him and messaged back and we had a pleasant "conversation" for about ten minutes before he asked me for my number. Wow, I thought, that's unusual. Still skeptical, and still reeling from the fact that all of this was happening the day after I prayed that prayer, I gave him my number and figured maybe he'd call in a week or so.

Kristian called the next day. We chatted for about 45 minutes and I found myself wishing we could've talked longer.

He mentioned that he might call "later in the week," and my skepticism persisted. Two days later (Wednesday), he texted and suggested that we Skype, so we did. It was clear on Skype that we were both attracted to each other, but Kristian impressed me even more by proposing that he come visit me in Phoenix that Saturday. To say that I was pleasantly surprised is an understatement. We solidified our plans, I found a place for him to stay, and I picked him up from the Phoenix airport for our first in-person meeting on the morning of February 6, 2016--one week after my mom called to tell me about him and after Kristian first contacted me. 

Remember that prayer I prayed the night before I first heard about Kristian? The one about sending me a proactive man who would pursue me with conviction?

Never have I received such a clear--and quick--answer to prayer in my life.

Kristian later told me that as soon as he saw my photo on Facebook, he had a strong intuition that I was "the one." That conviction only deepened when we met in person. Thus, the Lord answered another one of my prayers without me even asking: I'd been praying for years that when I met the right man, he would know first.

To make a long story short, our first date was lovely. I immediately felt at home with him and was super attracted too, which is always nice. We went hiking, had lunch at a favorite café of mine, prayed together at Mass, ate a delicious dinner at one of my favorite spots in Phoenix, talked for hours about faith/philosophy/theology/traveling/relationships/healing, and it took every ounce of self-control for both of us not to kiss each other goodnight (I'm glad we didn't, for the record). Before the weekend was over, Kristian asked if he could fly out the next weekend to take me out for Valentine's Day. I said yes, and the rest, as they say, is history.  

I could say so much more about the godly man the Lord sent to me a mere six months ago. I could tell you all about our Valentine's Day date that he planned perfectly (even though he'd only known me for a week) and how a month later, he cut his trip to Israel short so he could come to my family's Easter celebration in D.C. I could tell you about our magical first kiss and our difficult first conflict and how much my students loved him when he came to visit my classes at the end of February--it was during one of my classes, as Kristian was patiently answering my students' questions, that I realized he was the man I was called to marry. I could tell you about how natural the progression of our relationship felt, every step of the way, even though we got engaged a few weeks shy of our six month anniversary.

I could tell you a lot of things. But the most important thing is this: God wrote our love story. He is writing our love story. That much has been clear to us from day one. Neither of us could have ever predicted, created, or forced this. It was 100% gift from heaven and we still marvel at how generous God is. The timing, as annoying as this might sound, was perfect.

My students used to ask me how I would know when I met my future husband. I always gave them the same simple formula: I'll know when I meet a man whom I want to marry who also wants to marry me.

I never thought my mom would introduce us. Or that we would do long distance for the first several months. Or that I would move back to Texas, without a job, just to be closer to him. Or that we would be getting married less than a year into our relationship. But God's ways are not our ways, and for that, I am grateful.

About two months after I moved from Phoenix to Texas, Kristian asked if he could plan a mini-retreat for us on. If you know me at all, you know that a day of prayer with the man I love is pretty much my dream date. He told me that this would be a necessary step in our relationship moving towards engagement, and since I had it in my head that he wasn't going to ask until a few months later, I wasn't suspicious at all.

I was actually getting antsy and wishing he would just forego whatever fancy plans he had for the proposal and ask me to marry him already! And just to give you a sense for how pathologically impatient I am: we hadn't even hit the six month anniversary mark. But I digress.

The day of the retreat rolled around, Kristian picked me up, and took me to the beautiful Our Lady of Schoenstatt Shrine in Austin, a short drive from my house. He had printed out all of the readings the Church suggests for use in wedding Masses, so we picked two, Genesis 2 and 1 Corinthians 13, to meditate on individually. After about 20 minutes with each reading, we came back together to discuss our reflections, both of which were quite different, but mutually enriching. It was a beautiful and spiritually restorative morning.

During our "retreat," we spoke openly, as we had many times before, about our desire to marry one another. Kristian continued to be vague about when he thought that would actually happen, so I still didn't suspect anything as he drove me to my favorite chapel in Austin to go to confession with my favorite confessor, followed by daily Mass at said chapel.

After Mass, Kristian went to ask the sacristan to keep the lights on in the chapel so that we could take a photo in front of the altar. I thought that was a little strange but I still did not suspect anything. When he got back, we went and lit a candle in front of the image of the Divine Mercy and prayed together, in thanksgiving for God's mercy, manifest particularly in bringing us in to each other's lives.

There was a nice lady praying next to us on the kneeler, and Kristian asked her to take a photo of us in front of the altar. At that point, I saw that he had his rosary pouch in his hand and I finally started to get suspicious. When we had taken the photo, Kristian turned me around and said, "There's one more thing."

He got down on one knee and said, "Christina Grace, I love you and I want to be a saint with you. Will you marry me?"

And of course, through my tears and laughter, I said "yes."

He slipped a beautiful ring on my finger, and I feel like I've been living someone else's life ever since then. As any woman who is single and in her thirties will tell you, it can be really tough to keep hoping that the Lord has someone for you--someone who isn't perfect, of course, but is a man after his own heart who will help you get to heaven. So the fact that 1) Kristian and I met, 2) We fell in love, and 3) We're getting married seems nothing short of miraculous to me.

A note about the ring: I told Kristian that I didn't want him going into debt to buy me a ring, that didn't want a diamond, but a pearl, and that I would love an heirloom or antique ring if possible. He totally came through with his grandmother's ring in a unique floral design, which is reminiscent of the parable of the pearl of great price, Anne Shirley's engagement ring, and a flower.

All in all, I couldn't have asked for a more perfect-for-me proposal. Kristian's original plan was to propose at the top of St. Peter's Basilica in Rome in September, but the Holy Spirit kept nudging him to just do it--and I'm so glad he did. As much as I love Rome and St. Peter's, in the end I prefer the simplicity of a proposal bookended by beauty, prayer, sacraments, and laughter. We both couldn't stop laughing as we walked out of the chapel!

Before I close, a disclaimer is in order: There is no way Kristian and I would be engaged if it were not for the prayers of so many dear friends and family. Also, therapy. Therapy really helps.

If there's one Bible verse that summarizes our relationship, it's definitely Luke 1:37: Nothing is impossible for God. He brought Kristian into my life, he gave us the capacity to recognize the other as our future spouse, and he gave us the courage to say "yes" to the vocation of marriage.

And no matter what joys and sufferings the future holds for us, I know that we are both loved by the Origin of Love itself, and so our life will always be good.

Photo courtesy of Christina Dehan Jaloway

Christina and Kristian were married on December 29, 2016. Read Christina's advice for "older" Catholic brides here.

How He Asked | Fatima + Jonathan

Fatima and Jonathan met at 13 on a youth retreat and started dating long-distance from their different states. Over the next decade, they broke up before college, sensed God leading them into deeper trust, renewed their friendship and, eventually renewed their relationship after graduation. Not long after Fatima started working as a college Campus Minister at Jon's university, he asked her to be his girlfriend, for good, in the Wedding Chapel of Mary and Joseph at St. Matthew's Cathedral in Washington, D.C.

A year and a half later, on the last day of a novena to St. Joseph the Worker, Jon hatched plans with Fatima's best friend, Vania. Vania would spend the day accompanying his future bride around D.C., with a video, balloon, and letter from Jon waiting for Fatima at various sites significant to their relationship.

In Jonathan's words: Fatima and I started our relationship for the second time, as adults, in the Washington, D.C. area, where there were so many places of significance to us dating back to our early teenage years. I knew I'd ask Fatima to marry me one day, and thought often about how these places could fit in with my proposal.

The adventure I had in mind was a trip down memory lane. I met with Vania weeks prior to plan Fatima's stops at places like the church where we met as teens, the Eucharistic Adoration chapel we visited all the time at Fatima's job, Chipotle (okay, that was more for me than for her), National Harbor, the Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception, and a few other favorite date spots. The day culminated at St. Matthew’s Cathedral, the place I asked Fatima to be my girlfriend all those months before.

At each stop, I'd made Fatima a video featuring certain friends and family members who'd had a profound impact on our lives--not just during the time we were dating, but even from while we were single and discerning our vocations. Vania drove Fatima around, blindfolded so everything remained a surprise, and as she'd arrive at each special spot she'd find each balloon, with a letter attached to the string. My brother, my cousin, and I were always a few steps ahead of them to set everything up.

When Fatima arrived at her final stop of the day, the Cathedral of St. Matthew, both of our families, our closest friends, and I were all hiding on one side of the church for daily Mass. Fatima was all the way on the opposite side, sitting further back. As Mass was being celebrated, my heart was beating so fast (a cliché, I know).

Once the Mass concluded, the very last letter instructed Fatima to go to back to the Wedding Chapel of Mary and Joseph and to recite the 30-day Novena we were praying together for our different work situations. It was the Feast of St. Joseph the Worker that day, May 1. Little did Fatima know, for the whole 30 days I had been specifically praying for us and for the vocation we were called to together.

Sometime while she was praying (it's a long prayer!) I basically swooped in from behind and knelt beside Fatima, finishing our novena. She cried toward the end, and I had to finish reciting the words for her. Finally, I asked her, “Will you help me get to Heaven?”

"Yes." 

And the rest is history. I feel so blessed we have the history we do, and that it is still being made. It’s a history I am so grateful for, one that continues to give me grace every day to become a better husband to Fatima, father to our son, James, and to our daughter on the way.

Fatima and Jonathan were married in May 2015. Read more of their love story, and see their beautifully rustic, Tuscan-inspired wedding here.

Photography: Cynthia Shipp Photography

How He Asked | Emily + Jeff

Emily and Jeff met through a FOCUS missions trip to the Dominican Republic when Jeff was the director and Emily was a student. On that trip, the Little Flower and her promises of God's faithfulness took root in Emily's heart and have since multiplied in abundance. Jeff proposed last summer, and they were married in the spring of 2016.

In Emily's words: I took an immediate liking to Jeff when we first met on mission, but he was the director of FOCUS Missions, traveling internationally and speaking several languages. I was just a sorority girl from a pig farm in Nebraska. I thought that I’d never have a chance. It was on that trip that I began to take interest in St. Therese of Lisieux because her picture was hanging in the dormitory of the mission site. 

In her journal Therese wrote, "I will spend my heaven doing good on earth. I will let fall a shower of roses." I had heard about St. Therese answering prayers of vocation by sending roses to those who ask for her intercession. As my friendship with Jeff grew over the next two years, my desire for him remained while in prayer. My prayer was that if this desire was not of God, that he remove that desire completely. I prayed a novena asking for Therese's intercession to reveal to me if Jeff was my vocation by sending a single rose. Although I saw roses being given to those around me, I was not given a rose at the end of the nine days and never told anyone I had prayed the novena. 

Eventually Jeff and I began to date, but from a distance. I was serving as a FOCUS missionary in Los Angeles and he continued serving as the missions director in Denver. After nine months of dating, we served together again on mission, this time in the Amazon of Brazil. Our mission was separated into small groups; mine chose St. Therese as our patron. One evening after I closed the group in prayer, a Brazilian friend said, "While you were praying I closed my eyes and saw a flower growing up out of the ground and coming into full bloom. By the end of this trip you will receive a single pink rose in full bloom from St. Therese of Lisieux.” And I just laughed. 

At the end of the mission, on the twelve hour boat ride from the middle of the Amazon to the airport, Jeff asked me to give my testimony following Mass and Eucharistic Adoration. But as I came to the front of the group, he got down on one knee and asked me to join him on mission for a lifetime through the vocation of marriage.

Even though no one had seen any roses in the Amazon throughout the trip, the Brazilian boat captain's wife excitedly ran up and handed me a single pink rose in full bloom. And it just so happens that the church we ended up getting married in is called The Church of the Little Flower in Miami, Florida. Therese truly answered my prayer of vocation, just not in the way that I expected!

Photography: Wyn Wiley | Engagement Session Location: Estes Park, Colorado

How He Asked | Nicole + David

Introducing the Spoken Bride How He Asked proposal series! Alongside the beautiful and distinctively Catholic weddings featured on the blog, we are thrilled, starting today, to begin sharing engagement and proposal stories.

Our hope is to let it resound that love is alive. Love is of Christ, and and Christ is alive so entirely and specifically in every romance centered on him.

It would be our honor to tell your story, as well. Submit your proposal or engagement shoot with our Submission form.

Nicole and David's families knew each other through their shared home parish, yet the two of them went to different schools and didn't interact much. They went on a few dates after high school graduation, after which Nicole broke off the relationship, yet David always stood out in her mind. Unknown to them at the time, the Father was molding their hearts for something greater. Scroll past the gallery to read their testimony, and join us in covering them in prayer!

Photography: Rae and Michael Photography | Engagement Location: St. Martha Catholic Church, Murrieta CA

In Nicole's words:

About two years after David and I met, I hit rock bottom, hard. It was there, at my weakest point, that I finally responded to God's mercy. Shortly after this conversion, grace poured in and David and I pursued a friendship again.

A few months later we started dating once more. God was renewing my life completely. But in the midst of this newfound beauty, I was preparing to leave our home state of California and transfer colleges to Franciscan University in Ohio. When I got to Franciscan, I felt a strong call on my heart to be single and really get to know God’s voice in my life, which I had never done before. I was so used to going from relationship to relationship and never really discerning God’s will for me.

It was hard to let go of something so seemingly good. But it the midst of the confusion, I knew God was able to work more during this time in our lives then he had ever been able to before. We were wounded and receptive to the divine physician. In the deepest part of my soul, I knew this was going to be a season of healing.

The summer after our breakup, I ran into David in line for confession at our home parish. I was overjoyed to see him. One word kept coming into my mind: healing. I knew tremendous healing had taken place in both of our hearts within the past year. But God still had more to do. I was about to begin a semester studying abroad in Austria. I took this as a great opportunity to pray for my vocation. Let me tell you, when we pray sincerely, like a child, he hears and answers us. Little did I know a storm of grace was coming.

I graduated from college this past spring. After five months of discernment, learning patience and growing our friendship from a distance, David and I started officially dating again once I moved back home. We soon decided the best thing for us would be to consecrate our relationship to Jesus, through Mary. So we began the 33 days to Morning Glory Marian consecration, ending on October 7th, the feast of Our Lady of the Rosary. After praying every single day for 33 days we were on fire.

On the feast day, we went to Mass to celebrate our consecration. David took me to a statue of Our Lady of Guadalupe outside of our church. After we finished our last prayer to Our Lady, David got down on one knee and asked me to spend the rest of my life chasing heaven with him. He was my steady fighter, the one who fought to seek me through the heart of Jesus. Even in the midst of the twisted roads and unexpected turns in life, David was there. His heart revealed the father’s heart to me. So of course, I said yes! I am overjoyed to be fighting the good fight next this man and with Jesus as our guide, we will be Mr. & Mrs. This is God's merciful love revealed.

In David's words:

Growing up, I always imagined that once I met the girl who would be my wife, we would hit it off and get married very shortly after. Boy was I wrong!

I remember one night very specifically from our first months of knowing each other in high school; seeing Nicole at a party in this beautiful blue flowered dress. She had brought a guy with her; I didn’t know if it was a friend or a boyfriend, but that didn’t stop me from trying to talk with her. Luckily she came over towards her dad, who I happened to be talking with, and we had a short conversation as a group. This was enough to spark my interest, and shortly after we connected and I asked her out for coffee. Our resulting three dates included a baseball game where my car broke down on the way home and I had to have someone come pick us up.

Two years later, Nicole and I had just gotten out of relationships with other people. Nicole’s relationship with the Lord had grown significantly and she began volunteering on the core team at our Church, where I also attended the weekly meetings. God was providing us with an opportunity to renew our friendship.

So much healing occurred during these few months. Soon, with some help from our parents' prayers--they were secretly scheming by praying a novena for St. Raphael to intercede for us--Nicole and I began dating again. It was truly the best relationship I had ever been in. We were in awe of God’s goodness. Both Nicole and I had dated individuals who didn't share our Catholic faith, so dating someone who loved and shared the faith was huge. Our relationship wasn’t perfect, but it was marked by a sincere desire for purity and holiness. It was at this point I knew I wanted to marry Nicole.

When Nicole was accepted at Franciscan, we celebrated the good news and discussed how we would be fine having a long distance relationship while she was at school. I was surprised, and devastated, when Nicole broke off our relationship for a second time. This began a difficult period in my life where I felt a strong temptation to run from God. I felt like I had tried to do things the right way--his way--yet it didn’t work out. I’m sure many people have felt this way, and some have even left the church because of it. Luckily for me, through a great deal of prayer, grace, and wrestling with my own doubt, I began to push into God and he softened my heart. God gave me the grace to desire Nicole's happiness, despite what that meant for mine.

Right before our breakup, Nicole had given me a book, A Man of the Beatitudes, about Pier Giorgio Frassati. The book features many letters written by Blessed Pier Giorgio. One of these letters specifically stuck out and gave me a great deal of peace during our time apart:

“So, my program in this is to transform that special feeling that I had for her, and which is not wanted, to the end to which we must strive, the light of charity in the restful bonds of Christian friendship, respect for her virtues, imitation of her outstanding gifts, as with other girls. Perhaps you will tell me that it is mad to hope this. But I believe, if you pray a little for me, that in a short time I can achieve that state in prayer. This is my program, which I hope with God’s grace to follow.”

During the next year and a half, Nicole and I never spoke until the day we ended up in the confessional line together. Even with Nicole leaving for Austria the following day, that conversation began God’s renewal of our relationship. Finally, after a great deal of patiently waiting, we both felt a strong call from the Lord and began dating again after Nicole's college graduation (third time’s the charm right?). It was beautiful to share with each other the way God had worked in our lives during the time apart.

After getting back together, it wasn’t long until we began talking about marriage. Life had indeed changed and we were in a much better place financially, spiritually, and personally to move in this direction. In only four months by the time I had bought a ring and began planning how I would propose. One thing Nicole had told me during our conversations was that she would love to get engaged on a Catholic feast day. With this in mind, I began researching just about every feast day for the upcoming three months.

As a gift to Our Lady and to Nicole, I decorated the garden outside the shrine where we were attending Mass with over 12 dozen roses and sunflowers, placed at Our Lady's feet.

The Lord has taught me so much through my relationship with Nicole. I have learned God has His own timing and that it isn’t always the same as my own. He turns the bitter into sweet and makes all things new. As Nicole and I stand here together engaged, I couldn’t be more excited to receive the sacrament of marriage and begin our vocation. May we always bear witness to Christ’s selfless and sacrificial love.