Betrothal Ceremony | Paola + Matt

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The Lord can bring joyful, grace-filled surprises out of the most unexpected circumstances. Paola and Matt weren’t planning on postponing their October 2020 wedding, but a global pandemic forced them to prayerfully reconsider their plans.

In the end, it was this time of uncertainty that led to Paola’s discovery of the Rite of Betrothal, a beautiful but often-forgotten tradition and gift of the Church for engaged couples. Through God’s supernatural peace that “surpasses all understanding,” they were officially betrothed on the anniversary of their engagement. 

In Paola’s Words

I'm not the first to say that this pandemic has thrown a wrench (or maybe an entire shed of tools) into people's plans--including my October 2020 wedding.

In light of this, I spoke to four of my engaged girlfriends to gain their perspective and understand how they planned to move forward. Three decided to celebrate their wedding day on its original date, and one moved up her wedding and married earlier. All four postponed big celebrations and limited their ceremonies to the government-mandated ten people. 

Though slightly different in their decisions, each couple shared one thing in common: the sacrament of marriage meant more to them than the original celebration they were planning.

After hearing their experiences and gathering information from sources like the CDC and WHO (both forecasting the possibility of the virus making a second round in the fall), my fiancé and I prayed about a decision. At last, it was clear. My type-A, detail-oriented, accountant mind told me my next step: go hug a pillow and cry.

Based on all I had read and heard, I pigeon-holed myself into a restrictive thought pattern: get married now, celebrate later. My initial thought was, "If I postpone my wedding day, people might think I prioritize parties over the sacrament of marriage." This, of course, was absolutely false. 

My second, conflicting thought was, "Am I still practicing my Catholic faith if I end up postponing my wedding?" Both scenarios led to unrest in my heart, and I was in serious need of Holy peace.

I'm sure you know what kind of peace I'm referring to: the peace that only God provides. It "surpasses all understanding" (Phil 4:7). I have felt this peace only twice before: once before major surgery, and again when deciding my current living situation. I told myself I wouldn't make a decision until I felt that kind of peace again.

Enter Spoken Bride's article on betrothal ceremonies. I had never heard of the Rite of Betrothal, let alone how to pronounce it! I knew that Mother Mary and St. Joseph had been betrothed, but I didn't know anyone in modern-day society still celebrated it. As I read the article, I felt the Holy Spirit sprinkle a teaspoon of that Holy peace in my heart. 

Related: Consider A Betrothal Ceremony: What It Is, Why It's Significant + How To Plan One

I proposed the idea to my fiancé, Matt, while discussing the possibility of postponing our wedding until 2021. To my surprise, he was all for it! This was truly the Holy Spirit at work. That feeling of being forced into the aforementioned pattern, or any other marital mold, started to subside.

Matt and I were betrothed on the first anniversary of our engagement in Philadelphia by the priest overseeing our marriage prep. He’s also the celebrant for our 2021 wedding. Why Philly? That's a story over drinks! The people present at the church included the priest, our photographer, and, of course, the Holy Spirit. Honestly, that's everyone we needed.

Our betrothal has been one of the biggest blessings for us this year. Amidst the chaos COVID-19 has created, this wonderful sacramental grace has brought peace, patience, and resilience to our prolonged engagement adventure. 

Matt and I do understand the importance of the sacrament of marriage. We understand it so deeply that we have asked God for the virtue of patience to carry us to May 2021, so we can celebrate with our dear family and friends. And as he usually does, the Lord sent down the Holy Spirit to grant us the grace we needed.

So, dear reader, if you're like me and find yourself talking with your future husband about postponing the best day of your life for any reason, don’t think for a single moment that you aren’t following the teachings of our lovely faith. 

Consider a betrothal ceremony! In fact, even if you don't postpone your wedding, I still encourage you to consider the beauty of a betrothal. Just make sure you feel that Holy peace.