Registry Essentials for Your Kitchen

AUBRY HABEN

When my husband and I got engaged, I’m pretty sure the first thing I did after saying “Yes!” was start an online wedding registry. I’m not ashamed to admit it (gift lovers, unite!). I couldn’t wait to start dreaming about the space I wanted to create for us. I probably spent hours reading reviews online on the best tools for my kitchen, in particular, and I want to share with you some of my discoveries.

For the most part, I recommend putting things on your registry that you know you'll use. That sounds obvious. But in our case, for example, we put some beautiful bar items on our registry that we really don’t use. I like to pretend that I’m the type to make a fancy cocktail at the end of the day, but in reality I drink a cup of tea or maybe a glass of red wine. So that cute copper cocktail shaker that caught my eye? It sits lonely and rejected in our cupboard.

Elizabeth M Photography

There are long lists of items that could be considered kitchen essentials and everyone differs in their cooking needs, but these are a few that come to mind as what has been most useful in my own kitchen (besides the obvious, like dinner plates or silverware):

A set of mixing bowls: This is a must for a basic kitchen. I find it especially helpful to register for mixing bowls that can double as serving ware . Kitchen stores usually have sets in different sizes that are beautiful, yet also functional.

A slow cooker: Appliances are one of those controversial kitchen topics where people argue about which are necessary. In my opinion, however, a slow cooker is a must-have. Ours is constantly used, whether to cook a batch of shredded chicken or make a soup. It’s great during hot summer months because you don’t have to turn on the oven, and as your family grows and life gets busier, a slow cooker is perfect for life on the go. I love being able to throw in a bunch of ingredients in the morning and call it done. 

Various table accessories: A small handful of beautiful items, like cloth napkins, candles, and marble serving ware, to dress up your table with is a great way to avoid needing to register for a whole set of china. We chose a set of white dinnerware at Crate & Barrel (this set, to be exact), and I use our accessories to set our table for a dinner party. It works great, and simplifies your cupboards.

Chef’s Knife: A good chef’s knife is a must, along with a paring knife and kitchen shears. I did a lot of research on knives, and found that Victorinox is an extremely high quality brand, but more economical than the popular--and pricey--Wüsthof line. This knife can’t be beat for quality and price.

Dutch oven: A Dutch oven is versatile and can transfer from stove to oven to table. It’s perfect for making stews, browning meat, and baking delicious bread. Le Creuset is the name brand winner for Dutch ovens, but the reality is that more economical options can also be great. A few years ago, my dad got me a $25 Dutch oven from Menards (the land of random finds) that gets the job done.

Baking sheets: Don’t bother registering for cookie sheets! Instead, I recommend choosing baking sheets in a variety of sizes, and you'll be good to go. Unlike aluminum cookie sheets, baking sheets are usually higher quality commercial-grade steel and will never warp on you. Also, using them to create easy one-pan dinners has become a staple in our household.

Stainless steel pans: I recommend registering for a few really nice pans. These will last you forever; typically, higher-cost brands such as All Clad have lifetime guarantees on their cooking ware. Register for at least a frying pan, 4-quart saucepan, and larger sauté pan.  

I'd love to hear your kitchen registry suggestions, too. What have been the most-used or most helpful items on your registry?

---

About the Author: Aubry Rose Haben is sassy wife to Max, fly-by-the-seat-of-her-pants mama to little Pascal Jude, and general lover of all things impractical and cute. She currently lives in the Washington DC area with her filmmaker husband, awaiting the next adventure God throws their way. 

WEBSITE | INSTAGRAM | TWITTER

Maria + Santi | Buenos Aires Wedding

While earning her PhD at Stanford, Maria hosted an annual post-Easter vigil meal. One year, mutual friends invited Santi; he and Maria met again soon after at a Catholic young adults event.

Within a few months of dating, they began discussing the future. Maria knew that, with a year left before finishing her doctorate, she’d soon be looking for a job. “We both knew,” she says, “ that we had about a year to decide if this relationship was going to end in marriage. It was very quickly obvious that it was.” Santi proposed at the Fatima shrine in Maria’s Minnesota home parish.

From the Bride: Santi was born and raised in Buenos Aires, Argentina. From our first discussion of marriage, we knew we would get married there. Inspired by a post I saw online, we made a list of our goals for the wedding early on in the planning process, which helped guide later decisions. They read:

1. Create a magical experience for us and our guests.

2. Take advantage of this rare opportunity for our families to meet and form relationships.

3. Reflect the sacred nature of matrimony, with an emphasis on selected, meaningful traditions.

4. Maintain a symmetric focus on both of us, our families, and our personalities.

We spent a lot of time, energy, and money on the first two goals, trying to make the long trip to Argentina as easy and fun as possible. We developed a pretty extensive website detailing visiting and traveling in South America, both to get our guests excited and to be realistic about expenses. We set up a Facebook group as RSVPs came in, giving people a chance to introduce themselves, ask questions, and make travel plans. Shortly before the wedding, we also set up three Whatsapp groups for the two sides of my family and my friends, along with a few Argentine friends and family, so they could make plans on the fly in Buenos Aires and have a local resource in the days before the wedding. Finally, we arranged a series of family dinners--first with just our parents, then our parents and siblings, and lastly with my extended family that traveled from the U.S.

We paid for one of my best college friends, who had very recently been ordained to the priesthood as an Augustinian, to fly from the U.S., and one of Santi’s family members, a Spanish priest, to fly from another province in Argentina to concelebrate the Mass. They were joined by the parish priest who had celebrated Santi’s sister’s wedding, as well as the auxiliary bishop of Buenos Aires, who is a friend of his family.

Coordinating three priests and a bishop--from three different countries, speaking two different languages--was very intimidating! We tried to figure out the rules surrounding bilingual services and concelebration with a bishop, although in the end the priests figured it out amongst themselves in the half hour before the wedding.

We also created a bilingual wedding program that had almost every word spoken at the Mass, along with notes on the sacrament of marriage, sign of peace, and reception of communion. The readings were in a combination of languages: the first in English, the second in Spanish, and the Gospel proclaimed with short homilies in both languages. We opted for a bilingual Psalm and Prayers of the Faithful.

For the music, we prioritized songs that had translations in both English and Spanish, including “Come Thou Font / Fuente de la Vida Eterna,” “Pescador de Hombres / Lord, When You Came to the Seashore,” and “Ode to Joy / Himno de la Alegría”, along with the beautiful Argentine Mass setting, Misa Criolla. Though an organist and a soprano were already included in the fee charged by the church, we splurged on a professional choir, which was a great choice. When I heard them sing the Gloria, I knew they were worth every peso.

For various reasons, we decided not to have a wedding party. Instead, our parents served as our witnesses. It was important to me that I not be the only one escorted down the aisle by my parents, because Santi and I were entering into marriage as equal, complementary partners, and I wanted to avoid even the appearance that I was being given away by my father, rather than entering into marriage in my own right.

We considered several options for the procession, but in the end decided to enter together, preceded by our parents as examples of faithful marriages. This decision led naturally to us getting ready for the Mass together. I’m so happy we did that, because I know I was much calmer being with Santi all day than without him. 

I carried a bouquet of white calla lilies, along with a nacre rosary that the women of Santi’s family have carried at their weddings, starting with his great-grandmother. Santi carried a handkerchief from my grandmother in his pocket. During the Rite of Matrimony, we exchanged identical rings in the shape of Möbius strips that we bought on Etsy. A Möbius strip has a half-twist, which makes it a single-sided two-dimensional figure--even more infinite than a circle! I had always wanted a Möbius wedding ring since I learned about it in high school; fortunately, I married a nerd who also loved the idea! After communion, we presented flowers to Our Lady of Mercy, the patroness of the Mercedarian order whose church we were in, and prayed for her blessing on our marriage.

Most things happen later in Argentina than in the U.S. After the wedding Mass, which started at 8:30pm, we had an all-night party. We took immediate family portraits during the cocktail hour, which was followed by about seven hours of alternating dance sets and food: an appetizer, main course, dessert, cake and a champagne toast, and ending with pizza at 6:00 A.M. for those who could still eat. I think this schedule, with built-in breaks to recover energy before dancing more, was the reason half of our guests lasted the whole night, until the final photo!

The reception music was a mix of Spanish and English from several decades. One of my favorite parts was watching our friends and family mix out on the dance floor, especially when they learned new moves from each other--like when the Argentines taught the Americans how to dance to “Meneaito” and the Americans taught the Argentines the line dance to “Copperhead Road.” 

Another special moment was when we called our grandfathers up to sing together. My grandfather is Mexican and had lived for several years in Uruguay, so he shared a love for boleros and tangos with Santi’s Argentine grandfathers. It was so special to see the joining of families in this way!

Maria’s spiritual take-away from her wedding day: We really enjoyed the process of planning our wedding Mass. We read through the Together for Life book, taking a few weeks to cover each option for the readings, along with the commentary, and discuss them. We also were very fortunate to do our marriage prep with a deacon and his wife, another couple that we knew who were also preparing for marriage.

It was so special to me having my close friend, now a priest, concelebrate our wedding Mass. He had been ordained only three weeks before, and I was so grateful the timing worked out and that he agreed to come. There were so many parallels: there we were, both in white, starting our vocations at almost the same time. I had been there on the occasion of his first vows six years before, and now he was there to witness mine. We had even chosen the same readings for our wedding as he had used in his Ordination Mass! He agreed to hear our confessions the night before the wedding, which was a very emotional and grace-filled moment.

At the end of the service, we had the opportunity to make a few remarks. After thanking everyone for being there with us, Santi how special it was for us to have had a bilingual wedding Mass, because it represented not only the nature of our relationship, but also the universal character of the Church.

Photographer's Business Name : Foto Paleo | Church: Basilica Nuestra Señora de Buenos Aires in Buenos Aires, Argentina | Wedding Reception: Terry Recepciones, Buenos Aires, Argentina | Rings: Elegant Jewel Box on Etsy  | Choir: Coro para tu casamiento | Makeup and Hair: Celu Ferreira | Suits: Casa Florencia | Catering: Bennati Catering  | Hotel and Backstage photos: Hotel Alvear

Four Tips for Grad School Couples

STEPHANIE CALIS

When my husband and I first became friends in our undergraduate English class, he shared his dream of, God willing, one day teaching college literature courses. By the time I became his girlfriend, then his fiancée, then his wife, I knew that dream would entail many more years of school, moving, and lower income.

For many reasons, including the prospect of years of long-distance dating as the alternative, we discerned that getting married before getting settled, i.e. during my husband’s years in grad school, was where the Holy Spirit was leading our relationship. For our particular weaknesses and strengths in virtue, it's been a purification from which we emerge continually more joyful and in love.

Practically speaking, though, academic life for one or both spouses in a relationship is uniquely challenging. Grad school applications are long and daunting, always with an element of uncertainty and a forced willingness to move anywhere for the sake of a program and, ultimately, a career that's a good fit. Some full-time students, like my husband, are also student teachers. One of those pursuits alone entails bringing work home each night and working far more than 40 hours a week, for measly pay, and the combination of the two can involve even more. And, since there's not really a way around the fact that grad school is a means to an end, there are periodic needs to publish papers and travel for conferences and networking events.

I know every field has its struggles and busy times. If I can humbly shed some light on this particular field we're in as my husband completes his dissertation and final year of his PhD program, here's what has helped us ease some of the burdens of academic life:

If and when you have to move to a new area, seek out community.  

Following your beloved to a new town, maybe miles from home, can be isolating--particularly for the spouse who doesn’t have the built-in community of academic colleagues at school or a job lined up right away. After a somewhat slow start in the town where my husband was earning his Masters degree, the community life of our parish eventually drew us into volunteering with the youth group and becoming certified to teach NFP. Sharing in ministry together from the start of our marriage was was grounding. It forged true friendships we continue to maintain and cherish, even years and miles later.

For my husband’s PhD, he was blessed to be accepted into a program not far from where we both grew up. Returning to our families and college friends has been such a gift, especially as we've begun to grow our own family. Thinking you're in this alone is a lie. For me, cultivating relationships in our parish, with old friends, and in my husband’s program made a significant difference in my sense of contentment and belonging.  

Expect the unexpected when it comes to your time, and find ways to fill it while you're alone.

Like any profession, academia sometimes entails unplanned meetings and tasks that crop up during the day, particularly if your spouse is a teacher. What that often looked like for us was me expecting my husband home around a certain time, only to end up angry when his arrival got pushed back by a few hours--especially in those first overwhelming months after our son was born. Fortunately, I like to think we've become more flexible and forgiving about this over time.

I constantly remind myself that the difficulties with time aren't personal. When I strip away my pride and my temper, I know my husband would much prefer to be home for dinner on late weeknights or relaxing together rather than grading on a Saturday. Our years of marriage and early parenthood during school have been a long process of learning to identify and enjoy the pockets of free time we have together, compared to being constantly let down by expecting long blocks of leisure during evenings and weekends.

My husband is done with coursework now, but I learned early on that graduate classes are nearly always held at night, ending around 9 or 10 p.m. After a few weeks too many of endlessly scrolling through Netflix options, I made an effort to create a ritual for myself on those nights--usually journaling, painting my nails, and watching a show or movie I’d chosen ahead of time, as a way to be more intentional and to view those hours a routine to look forward to, rather than time to just get through until my husband was home.

Slack off now and then.

Really! It's a constant struggle for my husband to feel like there's always more he could be doing, which is probably true, and we try to be mindful of when continuing to work is good and important, and when just calling it quits for the day--either for the sake of his mental energy, our relationship, or our other responsibilities--is the best choice.

Discern things a year at a time.  

Following an exhausting two years of earning a Masters and one year as a very busy adjunct professor, my husband was sure he wasn't drawn to further study, yet here we are. The paths we've felt called down in our life together have changed with certain milestones, and we've tried to simply pray constantly pray as we go, asking the Lord to lead us in the right direction.

Toward the end of my husband’s Masters program, for instance--after which we’d expected to move back closer to family and for my husband to pursue high school teaching opportunities--I was offered a job that would allow us to grow our savings. We decided to stay in the area and lived there for another year and a half. It was during that time that the idea of teaching college continued pulling on his heart, and we experienced such clarity from the Holy Spirit that applying to doctoral programs was right.

If, at the beginning of all these years of school, we'd decided it was PhD or nothing, or if we'd gone into it with a just-get-through-it sort of mentality, much would have been lost from our spiritual growth and our sense of being present in our own lives.  

While in my weakness, I certainly get frustrated over our long-term academic situation more than I should sometimes, I do have the abiding confidence that we are doing God's will and that these particular crosses are sanctifying us. The truth is, I do have days where I think how nice it would be to be settled in a house in one semi-permanent place, knowing my husband would be working roughly 9-5 every day with commensurate income and be done with work when he left work. But experience has taught me academia isn't the only type of work that involves long hours and commitments we'd rather say no to--it'd be self-focused of me to think otherwise.  

So we pray and wait on the Lord, and up to now, every question of our calling has been answered with the peace that my husband completing his doctorate is the best thing for us and our family, if or until God comes knocking with something else. There's a true freedom in that.

What about you? Will one or both of you be in school by the time you're married? What's helped your relationship the most?  We love hearing your advice and being able to support each other in sisterhood as we pursue the callings unique to each of our vocations.

---

About the Author: Stephanie Calis is Spoken Bride's Editor in Chief and Co-Founder. She is the author of INVITED: The Ultimate Catholic Wedding Planner (Pauline, 2016). Read more

BOOK | INSTAGRAM | FACEBOOK

Vendor Spotlight | An Endless Pursuit

Boy met girl at Franciscan University in 2003, but for several years, the story ended there. Steve and Bernadette Dalgetty were fast friends in college, yet their future dating relationship--and eventual marriage--weren’t to be until later. For months, friends joked to Steve that he was “in the endless pursuit.”

Fast forward to 2009. Newly married, Bernadette and Steve launched their photography business with the idea that “a great relationship never stops pursuing. That's true for marriage. That's definitely true for our relationship with God as well as Catholics. We loved the idea of trying to weave that concept into how we tell stories of couples as they dive head first into marriage.”

Storytelling, in all its ability to capture raw emotion and evoke powerful memories for years to come, is a hallmark of An Endless Pursuit’s client experience. As with any story, the best one unfolds when its creator intuitively and specifically knows each person involved. That’s why Steve and Bernadette invest themselves in their clients’ love stories and wedding day priorities: from the trust and meaning they create with brides and grooms flow images that speak volumes and reveal the stories beneath the surface.

From Bernadette and Steve: We do not show up to weddings as a vendor there to check something off a list. For us, it's critical to show up with an authentic relationship with each and every couple. We can't really capture their story without a level of trust and understanding. We work with every couple up until the wedding to learn what's important to them and why.

A huge part of how we tell stories and how we look through our cameras at weddings comes from our own experiences as a married couple. There are a lot of similar elements from wedding to wedding-- the dress, the Mass, family portraits, and reception details--but at the same time, there are many subtle elements that are never the same.

Sometimes those elements are in the relationships of key people that shaped a couple's growth. Sometimes they are in the details and decor the couple worked on to convey something meaningful to them. Sometimes, they’re in the expression of a bride or a groom that can't be understood without knowing the backstory of what obstacle they overcame, the one that brought them to this day.

For us, it's that backstory that inspires what we need to capture. We try to show up to each wedding with an understanding of that, and let the day unfold naturally with that as the primary lens we look through.

See more of An Endless Pursuit's work in Robyn and Greg’s garden-inspired wedding, with beautiful springtime blooms indoors and out in the Dalgettys’ home state of Virginia, and in Emily and Ben’s elegantly rustic Nashville Wedding.

AN ENDLESS PURSUIT | WEBSITE | FACEBOOK | INSTAGRAM

An Introduction to the Byzantine Rite of Marriage

JULIA DEZELSKI

If you’ve ever attended a Catholic wedding, you know the Church does weddings a little differently than other traditions- there are certain things we do and don’t do. However, if you are a Catholic in the United States, chances are you may not know that the Church has different marriage rites, depending on the liturgical rite a couple belongs to. I barely knew myself until I was planning my own wedding in the Byzantine rite. For every liturgical rite in the Catholic Church (there are over twenty!) there is a different liturgy of marriage in keeping with the rite’s tradition.

Last December, when I was married in the Byzantine rite, I had only once attended a wedding in the Eastern Catholic Church and needed plenty of instruction. I had been officially welcomed into the Eastern Catholic Ukrainian Church the previous June after requesting a change of rite (from the Latin rite in which I was raised). It was during my studies abroad in Rome that I stumbled upon the Byzantine rite through association with the Russian Catholic Church established there on the Esquiline hill. I was initially attracted by the beauty and depth of the liturgy (although I didn’t know any Russian!) and after further study of the history, iconography, and spirituality of the East, I knew that I wanted one day to embrace that patrimony as my own. Upon returning to the United States, I had the opportunity to do so and my husband-to-be was very supportive (and curious) about marriage in the Eastern rite.

Jonalee Earles Photography

Despite our inexperience and our guests’ unfamiliarity with the Eastern celebration of marriage, everyone was touched by the unparalleled beauty of the rich symbolism behind every gesture and edified by the solemnity of the rite.

Here are a few of the most interesting features of the Byzantine rite marriage:

The Procession

Much to the surprise of our guests, my father did not accompany me down the aisle. Instead, my husband and I processed hand-in-hand down the aisle behind the celebrants. By entering together, we crossed over the threshold of the church as equal partakers in this unfolding mystery of love. The focus is not on the bride alone, but on the couple, already becoming one mind and one heart as they make their way into the House of God.

Unlike other weddings, we did not have a handsome band of ladies and gents as an entourage. Instead, our two witnesses led the wedding procession carrying icons of Jesus and the Virgin Mary into the church. These icons now hold a prominent place in our home and serve as a reminder of that sacred day and its foundation. The choir’s intonation of Psalm 27 during the procession served as a reminder: “Happy are all who fear the Lord, who live according to His will. You shall eat the fruit of your own labors, you shall be happy and you shall prosper. Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine in the heart of your home …”

The marriage rite actually begins in the vestibule of the church with the service of betrothal that confirms the free will and intent of the bride and groom. Although we were already betrothed (more on that later), we reaffirmed our free and unconstrained consent to enter into the marriage covenant.

Jonalee Earles Photography

Intercessions

As soon as we had publicly professed our intent, we were prayed for by those around us. The Byzantine liturgy is sprinkled with intercessory prayer: for the soon-to-be spouses, for blessings upon their marriage, for the fruits of the bride’s womb, for the couple’s children and their children’s children. Drawing upon a rich array of biblical marriages, the priest then offers a prayer to bless the couple like the biblical couples from Adam and Eve to Mary and Joseph. By being prayed over with such powerful imagery, the new couple becomes a part of the biblical story of redemption and a link in the genealogy of Christ’s second coming.

Marriage Vows and Crowning

To seal their participation in the story of salvation, the bride and groom are now invited to place their right hands on the Gospels. The priest then covers their hands with his stole as the groom followed by the bride read their marriage vows. Both my husband and I appreciated that we were not asked to repeat the words of the priest - we read them for the first and only time directly off the page. The vows were simple and profound, undergirded by the promise to love, respect, and be always faithful to our spouse with the help of God and all the saints.

The sacrament of matrimony in the Byzantine rite is also called the Holy Mystery of Crowning. The reason why becomes apparent at this moment, when the bride and groom are now crowned - that’s right - literally crowned with either a wreath of myrtle or a crown of jewels (not exactly precious jewels, but not plastic, either!)

The crowning is most certainly the most dramatic part of the ceremony, not only for the spouses who are trying to keep their heads upright, but for the whole assembly that witnesses a new dimension of marriage that is not typically highlighted in a wedding. The crowning is not some sort of mock celebration of how the newly wedded spouses might feel on top of the world but instead the “crowns of glory and honor” placed on their heads symbolize the honored martyrs who shed their blood and gave their lives for Christ and their neighbor. Like the crown of martyrdom, the crown is a prize of a marriage well-lived: a crown of sacrifice and self-giving. It is a foretaste of a glorious marital end!

Jonalee Earles Photography

The Common Cup and Procession

The Byzantine marriage rite is not celebrated within the context of a eucharistic celebration. However, a chalice of unconsecrated wine is offered to both husband and wife, symbolizing the bitter and sweet moments of married life that they will share together. This is followed by a final ritual journey when their hands are joined with an embroidered cloth and bound to one another, the couple is led around the tetrapod - a symbol of Christ - three times, by the priest carrying the Gospels. Again, the couple is starting their journey together by following the Word of God with Christ as the cornerstone of their life’s foundation.

The concluding prayer invokes God’s blessing on the couple until their crowns are received into God’s kingdom.  

In every Catholic liturgical rite, marriage is a sacrament that places you on a life journey of complete self-giving (and hopefully, a crown will be your prize!). Francis and I began our life journey walking as a couple over the threshold of the church and hope to journey together towards the Kingdom of Heaven while building our domestic church day by day. Regardless of rite or tradition, all Catholics are building the same Church - in their marriages and homes - each in their own way. This is the beauty of the Church: its unity and its diversity.

About the author: Julia Dezelski is currently finishing a doctorate in Theology. Her areas of interest include marriage and family, consecrated states of life, and the feminine genius among others. Julia was married last December in Washington, DC and can’t wait to cuddle with her first child due in January.

Editors' Picks | Vol. 9: First Anniversary Gifts for Catholic Couples

At Spoken Bride, we love a good book, a good meal, a standout statement necklace, a heel you can dance in, and the list goes on. And when we make those discoveries, we want to tell everyone. So every month or two, we're sharing our latest and favorite finds in everything engagement, wedding, and honeymoon-related.

The traditional first anniversary gift is paper. This month we've chosen a few of the more creative, spiritually-focused items we've found to inspire your giving and receiving.

Calligraphy: Sarah Ann Design; Photo: Gray Door Photography.

Andi, Business Director

Papal Blessing: You can start working on this gift as soon as you’re married to have it ready for your first anniversary. Even if you’re not able to visit Rome for a Papal blessing, there is still a way to have your marriage blessed by Pope Francis, with a beautiful visual reminder for your home.

Your wedding vows: Have the words from the liturgy framed or written out. This personalized watercolor from Just Love Prints is beautiful.

100 Reasons I Love You: This one is kind of self explanatory, but simply writing down all the different reasons you love your spouse, collected and stored in a jar, would be an ideal gift for someone whose love language is words of affirmation.

Birth Certificate: If it's God's will, nothing says I love you more than a brand new addition to your family!

Christina, Associate Editor

A fancy edition of a favorite spiritual book: The only thing I collect is books, and I love beautiful, hardcover versions of my favorites. Something like this edition of St. Augustine’s Confessions would be a lovely gift to receive, especially since my only copy is a paperback I’ve had since college.

A handwritten letter: I don’t know about you, but for me, there’s nothing quite like receiving a letter from my husband--particularly when it’s accompanied by flowers. Letter-writing isn’t really his thing, which makes the fact that he puts the time and effort into it all the more valuable. And bonus: it’s definitely a budget-friendly gift.

Spiritual bouquet: Who doesn’t love to know others are praying for them? Asking your friends and family to contribute to a spiritual bouquet for your spouse is a beautiful way to celebrate the first year of your life together.

Jiza, Creative Director and Co-Founder

Photograph: As a photographer, I cannot repeat it enough: print your photos! It’s one of the many ways we can tangibly remember those we love and the precious memories we have with them. Personally, as a military wife, my husband is often away for long periods of time and living in tiny accommodations. He has also missed many anniversaries. So, a photograph with a note on the back is something he can carry easily; whether that is in his wallet, the inside of his hat, or tucked in his prayer book. Plus, the beautiful thing about printed photographs is that you both can look back at those lovely images together when you’re old and gray.

Missal or Liturgy of the Hours: While you can always get an app on your phone, there is nothing like having a tangible version of anything that inspires regular prayer. For a personal touch, write a personal note to your spouse on the inside or have their name personalized on the front.

Mass Intention: I am a big believer of enrolling loved ones for Masses. Oftentimes when I feel like I am falling short in my personal prayer life, I will enroll those on my heart so I know they are being covered in the most perfect form of prayer. What a beautiful gift we have in the Mass!

Stephanie, Editor in Chief and Co-Founder

 Holy Card collection: Nearly every couple has a love for certain saints whose intercession has played a role in their love story. Honor them, and begin a collection of devotionals you can use in your spiritual life together, by assembling a set of prayer cards featuring the holy men and women who've been your special patrons. Gift them to your spouse in a nice box; I recently read a novel wherein the matriarch of a large Irish Catholic family frequently brought out her holy card box as she prayed through her intentions, and loved the idea. Need suggestions for whom the both of you can pray to in your married life? Start here with our list of saints who embody spousal love.

Tickets: These are technically made of paper, right? Surprise your beloved by planning a special date, with tickets presented in an envelope alongside a sweet note. Your evening out could be as simple as a matinee or as major as a concert, sports event, or even a flight to a weekend getaway or pilgrimage.

A portrait or religious artwork: Art prints are a lasting and possible to see and enjoy daily. A hand-drawn or painted portrait of the two of you, like this one, is a gift I’d love to receive—a sweet way to commemorate the start of your life together and welcome guests to your home. Religious art, like these beautiful images, is equally special, encouraging you to entrust your marriage to the saints’ intercession.

Elise, Social Media Coordinator

Family Bible: If you don’t have one already, invest in a family Bible! You can ask the printer to stamp your family tree in the cover of the Bible and write you and your husband’s names at the top to commemorate the beginning of your own family’s history.

A Home Blessing: If you haven’t already done so by your first anniversary, ask your parish priest over to bless your new home! You can remember the occasion with a framed print. A house blessing is a beautiful way to begin your new life together and cover your family in special graces.

Homemade Artwork: My friend Teresa made her husband an adorable piece of art for their first anniversary that hangs in their home. Her piece featured the important dates in their lives together: their first date, the date of their first kiss, and their wedding date. You can customize yours to feature your own love story and important moments in your lives.

We love sharing in your marriages and drawing inspiration from your relationships. Share your first anniversary gift ideas in the comments and on our social media!

Beth Anne + Tom | Florida Springtime Wedding

Beth Anne and Tom met online. Although neither of them had been in a serious relationship before, they started dating shortly afterward. "All through our dating relationship," Beth Anne recalls, "I prayed for what God wanted for us. Tom hadn't been to mass in a long time as he worked weekends. I never pushed him to come with me. But I shared the faith with him through my actions. Over time he came around and after he stopped working weekends, he asked to come to mass with me one Sunday, and has been by my side at mass ever since."

After 18 months of dating, they fell in love and started to discern marriage. Tom proposed to Beth Anne on the same bench where they met for their first date. 

From the Bride: We had many family members come from out of town for our wedding. The week of the wedding we rented a big house for everyone to stay in together. My favorite memories of the wedding week were staying with my family and bridesmaids the days before the wedding and just having a lot of good "girl time." I really wasn't nervous; we went and got our nails done a few days before, and my manicurist said she'd never seen a calmer bride.

We were married in April (a popular month to get married in Florida because it's not too hot yet) at the Cathedral Basilica of St. Augustine. One unique thing we did in our ceremony was processing into the church together. We had several reasons for doing this, one being that my dad passed away when I was eight years old, but our pastor also shared that it's actually the most liturgically fitting way to process. 

Since Tom and I were walking in together, we did a first look in the courtyard before the ceremony. I never thought I would do a first look, but I’m glad we did. It was a really special and intimate moment we had before all the craziness started. Some of my favorite photos are from that part of the day.

The reception was at Amici’s Italian Restaurant. My family is Italian and Tom’s is Polish. We didn’t intend on having an Italian reception, but it turned out really well! 

Beth Anne's Spiritual Takeaway: As devout Catholics, it was important to us to evangelize to our guests in subtle ways. I think I had the most fun with this part of the wedding. A friend offered to make us prayer cards to give to our guests. I chose an image of St. Faustina and quotes from her diary, as we got married the weekend of the feast of the Divine Mercy.

Instead of the bouquet and garter toss I gave each of the single women a white rose with a note on it promising to pray for them and their vocations. 
 

Photography: Copper Lens | Church:  Cathedral Basilica of St. Augustine, FL | Reception: The Milano Room at Amici's Italian Restaurant | Rings: Kay Jewelers | Invitations: Kouture Kreations  | Table Linens: Connie Duglin  | Brides Dress & Bridesmaids Dress - Davids Bridal  | Brides Shoes - Foot Comfort | Jewelry: JCPenney  | Groom/Groomsmens Attire: Michaels Formalwear  | Cake/Cupcakes - Camicakes  | Cake Topper - Couplesoncakes.com | Hair: Beauty by Blakeley and Heather  | Makeup: Christine Shelley, Mary Kay Consultant  | Photobooth and DJ & Purple Lighting: Beachside Entertainment  | Florist: Flower Works

Newlywed Life | Facing Hardship Early in Marriage

BETHANY SWANSON

Andrew Peterson has a beautiful song about marriage. It goes, Let's go dancing in the minefields, let's go sailing in the storms. This is harder than we dreamed, but I believe that's what the promise is for.

My husband William and I stood at the altar a year ago and vowed to love each other in good times and in bad. We took each other's hands, exchanged rings, and prepared to forge a path together, with wide smiles and eager hearts. We've encountered many hardships during our first year, but the sacrament of marriage is rich in abundant grace and unexpected joy.

Horn Photography & Design

I asked William what he learned during our first year of marriage, and he said, "Nothing. Absolutely nothing." At that, we both started laughing. We’ve certainly learned much in this first year. In particular, we have learned how to live the "in sickness" part of our marriage vows, and to sail the storms that accompanied a continual illness I endured.

Facing hardship has allowed me to experience the beauty of Christ's love through my husband. When I am weak, William is strong. He takes care of me when I am feeling my absolute worst, and has carried me to bed many nights. He has accompanied me to every doctor's appointment and advocated for my health. When I feel like a burden, he speaks words of encouragement. He has done the little things, like running errands, leaving sweet notes, and making dinner. He has shown steadfast love amidst uncertainty and led us in prayer when peace is hard to find. He has shown me, time and again, what selfless love looks like.

Accepting my husband’s  help didn't always come naturally. I can be stubborn, inclined to to do everything on my own. I used to envision a  spotless apartment and warm meal on the table awaiting William every day when he got home. Since I'm not working, I thought I could at least keep our house in tip-top shape. That hasn't been possible for the majority of our marriage, though: I slowly learned pushing myself beyond my body's limits wasn't good for my physical health, and that resting was actually better for our relationship.

I discovered the ways I could honor and love my husband looked very different than the ways I had imagined. I learned my role as a wife didn't depend on perfection, especially as it relates to my health.

We have faced many storms during our relatively short marriage, including a stressful move right after our wedding day, settling into a new area, navigating NFP, waiting to someday have a child, and William's challenging workload. Through each of these challenges, we've found our love refined. These experiences have given us opportunities to turn toward each other, our eyes on Christ. Through all my health issues we've come to understand how deeply we truly care for one another.

During each difficulty we face, we seek a renewal of love. We pray to receive grace and be made new. The hardships of our first year as husband and wife have bonded us together, strengthening us by showing us "what the promise is for," as Peterson sings.

These months have shown us the blissful, unimaginable joy of marriage, as well. I am still amazed that I am even married to William; sometimes so in awe of who he is as a man that all I can do is praise God. There's a peace that fills our lives, despite the hardships. We've found that attending weekly adoration keeps our hearts overflowing with love. Each night we take turns leading a prayer guided by the Holy Spirit. Our prayer time often looks like praise: praising God for the gift of marriage, for the gift of having  found each other, for the immense blessings we have.

If you are a newlywed facing hardships, remember your vows. Look for strength in your spouse and in Christ.

Don't get discouraged by your own failings or your spouse's, or the challenges that life presents. Have hope, that this is a part of your vocation, one you have been called to live selflessly. You and your spouse are being refined and being made new. Turn to prayer, and be a living testimony to the grace of the sacrament.

Step back from the storm now and then, the better to see all the good that's happening: all of your spouse's goodness, and all of God's goodness. Praise God for every gift in your life.

---

About the Author: Bethany Swanson studied Humanities and Catholic Culture at Franciscan University of Steubenville. She has served as a Jesuit Volunteer with JVC Northwest and as an assistant at L’Arche Spokane. She’s currently a stay-at-home wife and blogger at Strengthen My Heart and spends her free time reading, sewing, cooking, and learning photography. Originally from Oregon, Bethany now enjoys the beaches and warm weather of California with her husband William.

BLOG | INSTAGRAM | FACEBOOK

Uniquely Catholic Wedding Favors

While wedding favors are by no means necessary, many couples want to thank their guests for their support and love with a memento of some kind. And while you can find lots of fun favor ideas on Pinterest, it’s a bit more difficult to find uniquely Catholic wedding favors--especially if you haven’t been to many Catholic weddings yourself. We compiled a list of some of our favorite Catholic wedding favors, and hope that those of you who are in the planning process will find something that suits your needs.

Calligraphy by Sarah Ann Design. Photo by Angela Sostarich.

A print with your favorite spiritual quotation

Hand-lettered prints with quotations from Scripture or the Saints are all the rage right now, and for good reason: they are wonderful reminders of the truth and beauty of the faith that look beautiful in any living space. Our associate editor Christina purchased small “Love is the beauty of the soul” (St. Augustine) prints for each of her guests from Rose Harrington Art. Other options to explore for this kind of favor include Spoken Bride vendors Just Love Prints and Telos Design, as well as When Beauty Met Truth, Be a Heart Design, and Brass & Mint Co. (just to name a few).

A holy card featuring your patron saint(s)

A personalized holy card is a wonderful (and inexpensive) way to both share your faith and encourage your guests to continue to pray for you and with you after the wedding day is over. You could choose a patron saint, an image of Mary and Joseph’s wedding or the wedding at Cana, or any favorite religious image. On the back, consider including your names, wedding date, and a prayer--either a traditional Catholic prayer to that saint, or a prayer that you and your fiance write yourselves.

Bottles of holy water or blessed salt

Holy water and blessed salt are powerful sacramental to keep in the home (or the car, or a purse…), so why not bless your wedding guests with their own bottle? You can find small plastic holy water bottles online (something similar would work for blessed salt), and as long as you have the time to fill them up with tap water or salt and a priest friend who will bless them, this favor won’t add much time or money to your wedding planning.

Rosary or chaplet

A rosary is the wedding favor that keeps on giving; not only will your guests be able to use it for personal prayer, but if you purchase a more unique-looking rosary such as this St. Benedict cord rosary, they will remember to pray for you and your groom each time they use it.

A CD Featuring your Wedding Music

If you and your fiance are music lovers and have the time and talent to do so, consider burning CDs for your guests featuring your own recordings of the music from your wedding Mass, or a collection of your favorite hymns or spiritual songs.

Are you planning on giving out favors at your wedding? We’d love to hear your ideas in the comments!

Practical Steps for When Chastity is Too Hard.

SINIKKA ROHRER

As a Christian wedding photographer, there's one thing I say to my couples as I pray over them, on our final call before their weddings:

“May the Lord give you peace, patience, and purity during these final days on your journey to the aisle.”

Soul Creations Photography

I remember my own engagement and its temptations. My husband, Alan, and I went back and forth between being so intentional as to set bedtimes and make sure there was space between us on the couch, and throwing caution to the wind by cozying up verrry close under blankets, into the wee hours, during date night movie time.

I was personally surrounded by women filled with faith--but only the amount they wanted to be filled with. Many girlfriends of mine were already living with their fiancés Others were being told it was a good idea to test drive the car before buying, and seriously considering doing so.

Maybe you’ve been there and heard those things, too. While we can’t change that we live in a world that so often prioritizes lust, we can change how we react.

To be completely real with you, sexual self-control is often harder than actual wedding planning.

Here, three tips that helped my husband and I stay fixed on the purity of heart we so desired for our relationship.

Back away.

It’s time to start talking about the sexual weaknesses that silently permeate Catholic culture and stop living on an island of guilt or regret, because you are not alone. If you believe it's taboo to confide in a good friend about sexual sin, know that this conversation will not only help free you from the grip of sin, where it thrives in darkness; it may also help your confidant.

I don’t know if you struggle with masturbation, pornography, or any type of sexual sin, which sometimes tend to become gray areas that are glossed over during your formation, but I do know we are called to flee from these things outside of the marriage room (1 Corinthians 6:18) and outside a full, wholesome sexual relationship between man and woman.

When you're tempted to push the physical boundaries of engagement, turn to Scripture and prayer, knowing no temptation is greater than you can bear: “God is faithful and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” (1 Corinthians 10:13). Knowing our God is with us gives us even more strength to back away.

Turn your eyes from each other (Psalm 119:37) and put them on Jesus (Romans 13:14), the author and perfecter of our hearts. With his strength, we’re given the grace to persevere in keeping our bodies holy as His is holy; as He has called us to be (Ephesians 5:3). 

Reorient yourselves.

By reorienting yourself, I do not mean turning around hypothetically or physically. What I do mean is being honest with yourselves, identifying practical ways to avoid repeating certain regrets.

So reorient yourself. Right yourself. Particularly when the culture exerts a strong pull--pray for God’s grace, and then collaborate with him. Stop playing that CD in your car if your eyes are opened to how many innuendoes it contains. Change the channel when a sexual scene comes on. Change the topic when friends start down the path of raunchy stories from their weekends, or better yet, take a break from time with those friends.

Remember why.

As you plan your wedding and pack for a honeymoon with the man of your dreams, it’s easy to forget why this marriage thing is such a big deal in the spiritual realm. So here’s a  reminder:

Your marriage, in particular, has been planned by the Lord that you might shine His Light and be a power couple for Him in the world as His hands and feet.

Because of this, marriage, and its consummation, are to be held in high honor (Hebrews 13:4). It helps to conceive of appropriate boundaries as principles in your mind, rather than simply in where your body parts are or aren’t placed.

I don’t know where you are or what stage of life you are in. I don’t know if you are battling temptation, already living with your soon-to-be spouse, or are even struggling through finding a priest that will marry you if you live together.

Wherever you are, know that you aren’t alone in your struggle. I challenge you to seek God's infinitely loving mercy as you pursue purity of heart and intention, chastity and self-discipline. I challenge you to stay close to the Eucharist and let your heart be convicted.

Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it (1 Thessalonians 5:23-24).

---

About the Author: Sinikka Rohrer is a Christian wedding photographer and Spoken Bride vendor on mission to encourage brides with practical and spiritual encouragement on the way to the aisle. She is a lover of all things healthy, early morning spiritual reads, and anything outdoors.

WEBSITE | FACEBOOK | INSTAGRAM

A Heart Like Mary.

MAGGIE STRICKLAND

One of the fondest memories of my wedding reception comes from near its conclusion, as my new husband left the room to smoke a cigar with our male relatives. While the men gathered outside, my mother's close friend pulled me onto the dance floor, where I was immediately encircled by all of the girls and women present. We danced together, celebrating the joy of my marriage and the friendship that had brought each of us there. Twirling on the dance floor with these ladies wasn't in my plans that day, but like so many of the beautiful moments from my wedding, it happened because I had made room for grace.

Mel Watson Photography

I like to be in control of things. My wedding was no exception. One of the first things I did after getting engaged was put together a wedding binder that I proceeded to carry around with me everywhere for the next eight months. Every spare moment was given to thinking about the big day, since I had bought into the idea that a girl's wedding day should be the most perfect day of her life.

My fiancé Stephen and I concentrated on planning our wedding Mass, and my mother spent weeks perfecting reception matters with me. I thought I had every detail covered for both the Mass and the party, including a contingency plan in case our violinist--who was eight months pregnant--went into labor and needed a substitute. My plan was to master this wedding game and plan a flawless wedding our friends would talk about for years to come.

Early on, Stephen and I decided we wanted needed to make our confessions right before the festivities began, allowing us to enter our married life in a state of total grace. We asked our celebrant, a family friend, to come to the rehearsal early for confessions, and I ended up being so grateful that we took time to receive the sacrament. Because our priest knew me (and my control freak tendencies) so well, he gave me what should have been one of the hardest penances of my life:

"Once you leave the confessional in a few moments, I want you to be Mary for the rest of your wedding weekend."

What did "being Mary" mean? He elaborated, saying I needed to stop focusing on doing so much, like Martha in Luke's Gospel and instead be like her sister Mary, sitting and receiving graces from Jesus. There would be abundant graces flowing during our wedding Mass, he reminded me, but if I was going to receive them, and take them into my married life, I had to be open to doing that. If I tried too hard to do things on my own, I’d miss the chance to receive. I had no idea if I would be able to let go of this event I’d worked on for so many months. But I decided to try.

By the time the next morning arrived, gray with misty rain, I had forgotten all about trying to make things happen the way I had planned. I got so caught up in enjoying the small moments that I forgot to control things. Because of that, our wedding surpassed my greatest expectations.

That is not to say that the day was perfect, but that its beauty came from the unexpected things. Any stress I might have felt from the rainy morning or the photographer's early arrival disappeared when Stephen came across the lawn to take our first look pictures, gazing at me with more love and joy than I had ever seen.

Walking down the aisle with my father, I wasn't nervous or distracted by a few unfamiliar people who had stayed for Mass, because I was radiating happiness in anticipation of the sacrament about to take place. Later, at the reception, I clapped and cheered through an epic dance competition between one of my brothers and Stephen's housemate, forgetting all about the photography shot list I’d left at home and the timeline I hadn't made. And my plans hadn't included the lovely tunnel of friends, cheering, as we left the reception and walked out to our car.

When I got out of the way and stopped trying to control every facet of the day, other people could get involved in the celebration spontaneously, making it memorable in beautiful ways I couldn't have foreseen.

So when I was pulled onto the floor to dance with all of the important women in my life, I could accept that gift without reservation. Instead of worrying about being the perfect hostess. I could see what mattered most: that I celebrate with my guests and be present to receive their love. What I thought would be a difficult penance turned out to be a great source of beauty throughout the entire day, and I'm grateful I was given the openness to receiving that counsel in the confessional.

Wedding planning is notoriously stressful, especially in the wedding industry when the focus is on the party and not, as in the Church, on the sacrament. The graces of the sacrament of matrimony are abundant; we just have to be open to receiving them. As you are wedding planning, allow yourself that openness.

It's alright to be Martha while you're planning--there are, after all, lots of details that require planning, but don't forget to focus on the sacrament. Once your wedding day arrives, fully be Mary. Sit at the feet of our Lord and soak up all the graces he offers you as you enter married life, letting the Holy Spirit work through the people around you.

Married readers, is there any great advice you received before your wedding day that you'd like to pass on to others?

---

About the Author: Maggie Strickland has loved reading and writing stories since her earliest memory. An English teacher by training and an avid reader by avocation, she now spends her days reading, writing, and volunteering in her community, trying to make her part of the world a little more beautiful. She and her husband are originally from the Carolinas, but now make their home in central Pennsylvania.

INSTAGRAM

Editors Share: Proposal Stories

One of the greatest gifts of the work we do here at Spoken Bride is the opportunity to hear so many beautiful love stories. The many submissions we receive for "How He Asked" and wedding features give us hope for the future of marriage in the Church, and we truly appreciate you allowing us to be a small part of your story. In gratitude, today each member of the Spoken Bride team will be sharing her proposal story. We hope you enjoy! 

An Endless Pursuit Photography 

Andi, Business Director

We had a “pre-proposal proposal” on August 14, 2006, seven months after we started dating. We decided to get married at 4am while we were at the little park above Corona Del Mar Beach (where I saw him for the first time) staring at the ocean. proving that occasionally, good things happen after 2am. Shortly thereafter, we decided on September 8, 2007 as a wedding date and then I just waited for Matt to make it official. On December 2, while I was at work, he made dinner at my mom’s house and she helped him decorate the table. I was shocked when I got home, and then noticed the ring box and knew something was up. The box mysteriously disappeared while I went upstairs to change and after dinner we went back to the park above Corona Del Mar Beach to look at Matt’s childhood photo album. On the last few pages he put pictures of us and a really sweet note (quoting Flight of the Conchords) to describe his love for me. The ring was taped to the album but I didn’t notice it so he shined a flashlight on it asked me to marry him, and we just celebrated our ten year anniversary this past September!

Christina, Associate Editor

Kristian’s original plan was to propose to me atop the Dome of St. Peter’s Basilica in Rome (he’s definitely a romantic), but since we were both impatient to get engaged and knew that a trip like that wouldn’t be possible in the near future, Kristian proposed five months after we began dating on July 28, 2016, in the chapel where we were later married. After spending the morning in prayer together at a Marian shrine in west Austin, he suggested that we go to confession and daily Mass at my childhood parish across town. After Mass, we went to the Divine Mercy icon to pray in thanksgiving for our relationship. After a a minute or so, Kristian looked over at me and said, “God has been so merciful to us.” I tearfully replied in the affirmative, but was oblivious to his plan until he suggested that we take a photo in front of the altar. He asked a random lady who was still in the chapel to take the photo and then got down on one knee and told me that he loved me and wanted to be a saint with me. Would I marry him? I said, “Yes,” through tears of joy and the laughter of surprise. He slipped his grandmother’s pearl ring on my finger and we embraced in front of the same altar where we were married five months and one day later.
 

Jiza, Co-founder + Creative Director

I had just moved to outside of Philadelphia, PA from my hometown of Virginia Beach, VA to complete an internship at the Theology of the Body Institute. This placed us closer together since he was finishing his last year at the United States Naval Academy in Annapolis, MD, and we were able to see each other more often on weekends. Unbeknownst to me, one weekend, he drove from Annapolis to Virginia Beach to ask my dad permission to marry me, and then got back into the car to drive back up to West Chester, PA to spend the day with me before he had to report back to Annapolis. That’s about 12+ hours in the car in 24 hours! On the morning of Sunday, January 11, 2009, at beautiful St. Agnes Parish in West Chester, PA, we attended Mass together. At the conclusion of the recessional hymn, Mark suggested that we pray in front of the statue of Our Lady. While reflecting on the Seven Sorrows of Mary, he abruptly grabbed my arm and told me to stand up. Completely annoyed and startled, thinking there was some sort of emergency, I said, “Oh my gosh! WHAT?!” Then he got down on one knee and said some things that I cannot remember and asked me to marry him. Even though I knew Mark had been looking at rings for awhile, I was still completely surprised by the proposal!

Stephanie, Co-founder and Editor-in-Chief

I met my husband Andrew in college, at Mount St. Mary’s University in Maryland. It was on that holy ground that I developed a devotion to Our Lady for the first time through Militia Immaculatae, a prayer movement founded by St. Maximilian Kolbe, and that Andrew experienced a renewal of his spiritual life through the Rosary. I can see only the Father’s hand at work when I consider how deeply Our Lady drew each of us into her heart, independently of each other, before we were a part of each other’s lives.

When we first began dating my senior year, we frequently went on nighttime Rosary walks. Our school being named for and placed under the patronage of Our Lady, there are devotionals to her scattered throughout the campus. A favorite one of ours was a small Marian grotto next to the chapel, flanked by a beautiful pond and garden.

The summer after I graduated, as Andrew and I prepared for a year of grad school and mission work, respectively--from two different states--we celebrated my birthday and the end of my mission training with a picnic on our campus, which is near his family’s home. After our meal, Andrew invited me to walk with him and pray the Rosary. At the start of each decade, he offered a spontaneous prayer for our relationship, which wasn’t typical, but I anticipated nothing. As we walked, I kept trying to guide Andrew to our favorite spot at the grotto. He kept redirecting me! Finally, we found ourselves beneath Our Lady’s feet as we concluded our prayers. Andrew followed our Rosary with a beautiful speech, during which I still didn’t suspect anything more than an outpouring of emotion as we prepared to date long-distance. Until he got down on one knee. In that moment was the clearest, easiest yes I’d ever say.

Elise, Social Media Coordinator

Hunter and I met when we were 19 and so by the time we were thinking about marriage we had been together for about 4 years. We were both ready to enter more deeply into our relationship and see where God was leading us our journey together. I knew a ring was in the near future, but I was expecting Hunter to propose at Christmas or New Years. Instead, he decided to completely surprise me on the Feast Day of my confirmation saint, St. Cecilia.

I went to classes that morning and then had plans for lunch with a couple of good friends. Hunter and I had planned for me to drive to meet him at his graduate school in Baltimore that afternoon so I was planning to hop in my car to drive up Route 95 after lunch. I had a lovely lunch with my two girlfriends at my alma mater, Catholic University.

After we ate, my friend Chelsea, asked if we could all go to the statute of Our Lady of Wisdom on campus to pray for a special intention of hers. We walked over to the statue and stood there praying for a moment at the statue where Hunter and I had prayed together many times before. Then, Chelsea reached behind the statue, and presented me with a dozen red roses and a note from Hunter. I was in complete shock and realized that something was up. I kept asking where Hunter was! I don’t remember exactly what the note said but it alluded to the fact that up until that point of our relationship, Hunter had only bought me white or pink roses, representing friendship, and now that we were about to embark on this new step in our relationship, he gifted me with red roses representing mature love.

At this point, I started to shake with excitement and nervousness so my friends had to take the coffee cup I was holding out of my hands as they directed me to the Garden of Mary behind the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception, which is right next to CUA’s campus. There is a long pathway leading from the top of the garden to its center where I saw Hunter standing. As I reached the garden, Hunter took my hand, told me he wanted to be mine forever and knelt down in the same spot where he had asked me to be his girlfriend 4 years earlier. The funny part was that he was so nervous that he was on his knee for about 10 seconds before bouncing up and putting the ring on my finger. Of course I said ‘yes’! As someone who isn’t easily surprised, I was so happy that Hunter had enlisted my friends to help pull off this beautiful engagement.

Vendor Spotlight | Sarah Ann Design

Sarah Ann Design developed from a long-term love affair with letterform and bespoke details. Sarah Erickson, the woman behind this lovely typography and calligraphy company, believes in the character behind every letter, and the personality that every flourish brings to life.

"I'm relatively new to the wedding industry," says Sarah, "but have felt The Lord calling me to explore this realm of design." With a formal education in creative advertising and graphic design, and a passion for hand-lettering and typography, a transition into calligraphy and custom invitation design felt like a natural fit. "As much as I loved designing logos and brands, God placed it on my heart to collaborate with engaged couples as they prepare to enter the sacrament of marriage." 

A quick glance at Sarah's portfolio reveals an attention to detail that is increasingly rare in the wedding industry: "I love to hear all about a couple's unique love story, and find distinctive details unique to each one. Often, these inspirations do come from family stories and heirlooms, sentimental venue choices, or a love for spiritual tradition. I firmly believe The Lord has called me to this, and am constantly inspired by His whispers in my heart to continue pursuing this path He has laid out for me." 

From Sarah: Paper goods are one of the rare tangible memories of your special celebration; they are the first impression to your guests, and the last item you’ll hold onto for years to come. My ambition is that every piece of your invitation suite captures the essence of your unique love story. I design for the romantic couple who doesn’t want to forget a single moment of their wedding day. Ultimately, I desire to provide cherished keepsakes from this treasured celebration—reminders of true romance, a lifelong commitment, and vows for eternity.

Sarah Ann Design has been featured in Brides of North Texas, Glamour and Grace and Aisle Society. 

SARAH ANN DESIGN | WEBSITE | FACEBOOK | INSTAGRAM | PINTEREST

How He Asked | Rose + Jonathan

Jonathan and Rose met in 2013 when they were both completing their residencies in the medical field. Working in the largest medical complex in the entire world in Houston Texas, Rose never thought she'd cross paths with the love of her life just four weeks after moving there from where she grew up in Mississippi. God in His mercy had divine plans in store for this beautiful couple.

In Rose's words: When we first met, Jonathan and I were in very different places in our spiritual walks. He was a fallen away Protestant wrestling with faith in the context of science as he launched head first into the world of medicine. At that time, I was an infant in my Catholic walk, clinging to my “good works” which provided a heavy dose of smug self-righteousness. I was deeply discontent with singleness and was wrestling spiritually with fear, loneliness, and angst about what my future held.

Through the power of the Holy Spirit, Jonathan chose to pursue RCIA and found so much peace in finding the Faith. His devotion as a new convert inspired me to become a more committed Catholic myself. From that time until now, God has transformed us bit by bit into a fortified Catholic couple pursuing a shared direction and vision in life. As the Lord reminds us in Scripture, transformations are rarely painless. Our dating relationship had its challenges: the distance between Texas and Massachusetts (where he moved for a fellowship), the fears of the unknown future, my nagging desire for marriage and children, cultural differences, family strain, past emotional trauma. Through these challenges, Jesus taught me the beauty of letting go of my plan, to accept being 30 and unwed, and to love another flawed human being more than myself. In doing so, I was able to love more freely and completely.

A big part of his waiting to propose was related to our distance. God in his faithfulness opened the door for us to take jobs in the same hospital, in the same clinic, seeing the same patients in Austin, TX. How's that for close?! This level of proximity helps me see Jonathan in a totally new light. I fell even more in love with him as I witnessed him show Christ to his patients - praying with them, caring for them, and gently healing them. Another perk is that he constantly wrote me adorable post-it love notes and I got the cutest lunch date, like, every day. Based on the content of these love post-its and our conversations about readiness, I could tell that the big question was coming.

On a drizzly Sunday evening he picked me up for Mass. On this particular day, however, he picked me up wearing a three piece suit and an adorable grin. He said he wanted to "give God [his] best" but I had a sneaking suspicion he had something else up his sleeve...

When we arrived at our parish, I quickly noticed the empty parking lot. We were way too early! So, as Jonathan recommended, we went to the adjacent prayer chapel for some contemplative time before mass. A minute of prayer hadn't passed until Jonathan got down on one knee and proposed. Since Jonathan is basically a mathlete, he told me how many text messages we had sent to one another since starting dating (19,787), the number of home cooked meals I have made him (78), and the number of souls I helped find faith (1) – for which he gives me way too much credit. He asked me to share forever with him. He also coordinated for my family to come into town from Mississippi the following weekend and for our families to meet over dinner.

As I reflect on the proposal, I'm thankful that the didn’t choose to propose with fancy grand gestures or in front of a large audience. He wanted the proposal to be before Christ and for his words to be tenderly shared on the sacred ground - where we go every week for strength and grace. And I love him for this.

Looking back, I am grateful that no one walked into the chapel, as they would have found two love struck kids kissing and crying in the pew. Afterwards, we got a blessing from the priest and celebrated with a dinner at my favorite spot. I'll never forget feeling soaked in the rain, drenched in grace and love, and thankful to the Lord of mercy and kindness.

Rose's reflection on engagement: The engagement season isn’t easy – the stress of wedding planning and preparation places a unique strain on our communication and problem solving. Daily, I have to remind myself to ask God for the grace to die to my to-do list and selfish nature for Jonathan. We are phenomenally blessed through our parish who paired us with a seasoned couple – Michelle and Paul - to work through our premarital workbook together. As the wine was poured in their cozy home over the course of a few months, we were able to dive deeper into the beauty and meaning of the Sacrament of marriage. Pressing into areas of discomfort, fear, and doubt was a game changer for us and it continues to take us to the next level of preparedness and appreciation for the Sacrament.

I am deeply indebted to the Church for investing in our future marriage, and for the couple who committed to entering into this journey with us. Michelle totally blew my mind when she shared these sage words: when discontent creeps into her heart, she will then choose to intentionally and selflessly serve her husband even more. She said these acts of service transform her heart and give her freedom from discontentment. This is one of many pieces of wisdom that I plan to carry into marriage.

Our prayer is one of gratitude and of desire: Lord help us die to ourselves in the service of one another. I cannot wait to call Jonathan my husband and I am thankful that the Lord faithfully answered my heart’s desire for the vocation of married life.

Photography: Amanda Pomilla Photography | Engagement Session Location: Laguna Gloria, Austin, Texas | Blue Dress: Slate & Willow | Pink Dress: BCBG | Shoes: Stuart Weitzman | Slide Bracelet: Family Heirloom | Necklace: Tiffany Co. | Engagement Ring: Custom | Suit: Suit Supply | Hair: Drybar - Austin | Makeup: Rae Cosmetics

Three Reasons to Have a "First Look"

JIZA ZITO

We have all heard that it is “bad luck” for the groom to see the bride before the wedding,  and many couples take this tradition quite seriously; however, many do not know about the less-than-romantic origins of this tradition.

During the time when arranged marriages were customary, the betrothed couple was not allowed to see each other before the wedding. Marriage, for many families, was essentially a “business deal.”. The father, who was the head of the household, would ideally marry off his daughter to a rich, land-owning male. Once the engagement was contracted, the parents of the bride and groom would keep the couple apart, fearing that if the groom saw the bride before the wedding and found her unattractive, he wouldn’t go through with the marriage.  While today we think of the wedding veil as a lovely must-have accessory,  its original purpose was also to keep the groom from finding out what the bride looked like until the last possible minute, when it was too late to back out of the transaction. Romantic, huh?

More and more couples today are choosing to buck tradition in favor of the “first look” before the wedding ceremony. While the Church has no definitive stance on first looks, every couple has different reasons as to why they would or would not do a first look. Below are three reasons to consider having a first look, and three alternative ideas to consider if you want to have a moment with your groom before the wedding, while saving the “big reveal” for your walk down the aisle.

Jiza Zito/Olive & Cypress

Maximize your time for photos without sacrificing time at the reception.

While you may have your photographer for 8-10 hours, it’s amazing how fast time flies on the day of your wedding and how easily the timeline can get sidetracked. Most often, portraits with family and the bridal party take longer than expected, and then the next you know, you only have less than 15 minutes to take romantic images of just you and your groom. When you make the first look a priority, it gives you time for those special portraits without being rushed to your cocktail hour or reception. Especially when you also place a large investment into your wedding photography, getting the time to get more photographs of just you and your groom together and in such a candid and special moment can definitely be worth it!

Diminish pre-wedding nerves.

Some couples have a hard time showing emotion in front of a crowd, and understandably so. There is a lot of emotion mounting up to that moment of seeing each other for the first time. When you do a first look with just you and your groom (and your photographer(s) in the background), it gives you both the chance to be yourselves freely while seeing each other for the first time without a crowd of loved ones snapping iPhone photos.

Get some much-needed alone time with your husband.

The first look allows you and your groom to have some alone time before your day gets busy. Unless you set time aside for it later in the day, it’s the only time you both will be alone on your wedding day until you leave the reception. It can also help set the tone for the perfect mood for romantic portraits. Images of just the two of you are also what you’ll decorate your home with and possibly pass down to family, so it makes sense to spend some quality time taking them

---

Alternatives to the First Look

While a first look has its many perks, it’s not for every couple. Here are some alternative or additional photography ideas for your big day:

A First Look with Dad or Father Figure

If you’re a self-proclaimed Daddy’s girl, or have a close relationship with another male relative, this is a lovely option to consider. Another idea is also for the father to escort the bride to the first look with the groom.

Emily Jane

A First Look with the Bridal Party

You have been through the engagement party, the bridal shower, and the bachelorette party. Now your bridesmaids are excited to see your completed look on your wedding day. Have your photographer catch their reactions as they finally see you dressed as a bride!

Kinsey Mhire

The “Reach and Pray”

This one is my personal favorite. It’s a beautiful and meaningful way for a bride and groom to come together before the ceremony while still avoiding the pre-wedding first look. You can hold hands around a corner or a door, or keep your eyes closed in a prayerful exchange in your favorite grotto or side chapel.

Elissa Voss Photography

No matter what you decide for photographs on your wedding day, communicate with your photographer and make sure you get enough allotted time to capture images of just you and your spouse. These will be the images that you will always cherish.

---

About the Author: Jiza Zito is Spoken Bride's Creative Director and Co-Founder. She is the owner and wedding photographer of Olive & Cypress. Read more

WEBSITE | INSTAGRAM | FACEBOOK

Elise's Wedding | The Big Day!

Our Social Media Coordinator, Elise Crawford, married her college sweetheart Hunter, on August 12! We're overjoyed for them and are thrilled to share their wedding day with you today as Elise concludes her series of wedding reflections. Join us in congratulating and praying for Elise and Hunter as they begin their life together!

---

I know it seems cliche, but Hunter's and my wedding day was a taste of heaven! As stressful as the weeks and days leading up to the wedding were, I was so blessed to feel calm and present on our big day. There was so much preparation and effort on both sides of our family to make this day happen: we had an aunt who hosted family from out of town, my mom and sister were with me running errands and ticking of my to-do list and friends flew in to town early to help with preparations. We felt so completely surrounded with love and support!

We were told in the months leading up to our wedding that the day goes by in a blur and that it's easy to let it go by without taking a moment to soak it all in. With that in mind, Hunter and I made sure to take small moments during our wedding day to pause, pray and just be with one another. I remember several times throughout the day taking in the scene in front of me and committing it to memory thinking, "Lord, You are SO good!". After so many years of waiting, I can not describe the joy that comes with being united with your love in the Holy Sacrament of Marriage in front of your family and friends. Our wedding day is truly a testament to the fact that the Lord provides and is faithful to His promises. 

I hope you enjoy the photographs below taken by the beautiful Sarah Price. Thank you for journeying with Hunter and I over the last year as we prepared for this moment in our lives. Your prayers have been fruitful and meant so much to us! I will leave you with the quote that we placed in our wedding mass program:

"Beloved, you do not know how deeply you are mine, how much you belong to my love and my suffering-because to love means to give life through death; to love means to let gush a spring of water of life into the depths of the soul, which burns and smolders, and cannot burn out." -Karol Wojtyla (Pope Saint John Paul II), "The Jeweler's Shop"

Photography: Sarah Price Photography | Church: St. Augustine- Elkridge, MD | Wedding Reception Venue: Cattail Creek Country Club | Florist: Corner Florist | Signs + Table Numbers: Custom Crafted Calligraphy  | Caterer: Cattail Creek Country Club | Bridal Gown: BHLDN | Bridesmaid Dresses: Global Bridal Gallery | Partial Wedding Planner: Cedar and Lime Co | Cake: Graul's Market | Hairstylist + Make Up Artists: Up-Dos for I-Dos | Music: Chris Laich Music Services | Groomsmen Tuxes: Cys

How to Get Through Family Photos With Grace

SINIKKA ROHRER

The hot sun is beating down on your perfected curls. You glance over at your Groom, who is calling to his grandparents again that they can’t leave yet; his family photos aren’t finished. Your cheeks are tired of smiling and your hands are starting to get sweaty from holding your bouquet in the same place for so long. Grandma Rose pops in on your left, the photographer adjusts your dress for the hundredth time, you quickly smile as the camera clicks and the next group is called out.

Oh, dear Bride. I understand well how these family photos go. You might be dreading it or forgetting about it, but at some point during your wedding planning process it will come up. You may not be particular about the number of your family photos if, but the reality is that these photos are not as much for you as they are for your relatives.

Soul Creations Photography

These are the moments that will be printed for your great-grandmother’s coffee table,  our grandma’s foyer, and your mother’s living room. You won’t see a photo of you and your Groom stylishly overlooking your venue or a photo of your bridal party throwing bouquets up in the air. Those photos are for you, but the family photos are for all those who are supporting you.

For your family’s sake, let your mother and your future mother-in-law tell you what photos they want.

For your family’s sake, ask your photographer to start with large extended family photos.

For your family’s sake, let your smile shine, even if you don’t feel like it.

Soul Creations Photography

The one thing I’ve been learning recently that has changed both my perspective on family and weddings is that it’s not about you. I know that’s a countercultural idea. According to the wedding industry, you should be able to make 100% of the decisions regarding your day. From what you wear to the decor on your reception tables, the wedding industry says you should have the final say. But as Catholics, we know that our weddings, marriages, and lives in general are about the gift of self.  

Soul Creations Photography

Just like Jesus patiently welcomed the messiness of human life, I encourage you to do the same when your ringbearer won’t look at the camera while your aunt’s new baby cries. In the moments that you feel most frustrated, continue to love them and embrace the mess of life, just as Jesus did. On your wedding day, take advantage of the opportunities you have to serve, love, and support those who have been doing exactly that for you and your Groom for longer than you know.

Sinikka Rohrer is a daughter of the King, wife of a man she'd only imagined, and lover of waking up quietly. She is the owner of Soul Creations Photography, a business on mission to capture testimonies, encourage hearts, and inspire marriages, and is a Spoken Bride Vendor. You can see more of Sinikka's beautiful photography here, and read her reflections on engagement here. 

WEBSITE | INSTAGRAM | FACEBOOK

When Earthly Marriage Feels Preferable to Heaven.

STEPHANIE CALIS

This summer as I prepared for the birth of my third child, an otherwise typical Facebook scroll led me to an article on reducing childbirth-related deaths in the advanced world of American medicine. Having experienced postpartum complications in the past, I was surprised to learn excessive bleeding and hemorrhage, issues my hospital had handled quickly and easily when I experienced them, are in reality leading causes of maternal death. I spent the better part of a week in tears, unable to lift the weight of anxiety and fear of death, of leaving my husband and family.

My grief, I know, stems from a realization I’ve recently come to; one I wish didn't have such a hold on me. Here it is: as a Christian, I'm embarrassed to say I often don't feel ready for heaven. Not in the sense of being unprepared, though I almost certainly am--aren't we all, except by grace--but in the sense that my fully human, earthly mind can't fathom something that will fill my soul more than being married to my husband and raising our family.

I find myself secretly hoping Christ’s Second Coming won't happen during my lifetime. I tear up immediately when I think of being separated from my husband. I frequently wrestle with the idea that, theologically, there's no marriage in heaven.

I am immeasurably blessed by my husband, a man who shows me Christ's love in such a tangible way. By extension, I wonder if, by loving him so much, my love for the Father somehow fades into second place. I am in awe of my husband, thankful to him, passionate about him, and I trust him completely, in a way that goes far deeper than just feelings. Shouldn't I see God in this way, and to an even deeper extent?

I know, of course, that my husband isn't--nor should he be--an idol or ultimate source of my happiness. Yet the thought of our being apart, even if it means one of us is rejoicing before our maker at the heavenly feast, is hard to contend with.

Have you experienced this, the fear that heaven couldn’t possibly be as joyful as living out your vocation on earth--one you’ve probably dreamed of and prayed for for years--and its counterpart, a fear of death? I wish I could say I’ve come through this fire with wisdom to spare on the other side, but the truth is that my only recourse has been prayer. Specifically, I ask the Lord to increase my desire for him and to silence my anxieties when I think of eternity. We live in the longing, after all, we humans--imprinted with a restlessness and longing for the fullness of the divine from the moment of our creation. My prayer is that these longings of mine be directed well, aimed fearlessly at the heart of heaven.

I find peace in the thought that if love and marriage on earth are meant to give us the tiniest glimpse of eternal life, and if heaven is such a banquet of perfect love, free from our weakness and imperfection, I don't even know what I'm missing out on. Of course it's better than anything I can imagine, because in my humanity, I literally can't imagine it.

For now, I know my call: to love and sanctify my husband and family and to receive their purifying love in return. And know I’m meant to trust that until these missions are fulfilled, in whatever time the Father intends, death needn’t be a concern.

St. Augustine famously prayed, Make me a saint, but not yet. He echoes my own thoughts in relation to life and death: Get me to Heaven, but not yet. I pray to desire it now, to live with eternity in mind; to be not afraid.

If fears like mine have taken hold of your own heart, know I’m there with you in the tension and that you have my prayers. If any particular practices have brought consolation to your soul, we love hearing your wisdom and sharing in your sisterhood.

---

About the Author: Stephanie Calis is Spoken Bride's Editor in Chief and Co-Founder. She is the author of INVITED: The Ultimate Catholic Wedding Planner (Pauline, 2016). Read more

BOOK | INSTAGRAM | FACEBOOK

A Heart of Responsibility for Your Wedding Guests

“Spouses,” wrote Pope St. John Paul II, “are therefore the permanent reminder to the Church of what happened on the Cross; they are for one another and for the children witnesses to the salvation in which the sacrament makes them sharers.” Permanent. Witnesses. In the moments after you and your beloved have spoken your vows, and on through all the rest of this life, you’re given the graces of great joy and a sweetness that lightens crosses to come. You’re also shouldered with a new responsibility: to bear the self-emptying love of Christ to the world--sometimes overtly, and other times without a word.

Her Witness Photography

Responsibility can feel heavy, during the season of wedding planning and beyond: experiencing division in your family relationships because of your faith beliefs, willing the good of your beloved even when your heart’s just not in it, caring for young children. It can also come with a temptation to pride. It might be manifest in a sense of personally desiring to change minds on matters like marriage, contraception, and divorce, whether through direct or indirect rhetorical or religious argument.

These are completely normal, understandable tendencies. Moreover, they’re rooted in a desire that’s good. When you feel so convicted of the joy on tap in a distinctively Catholic wedding and marriage, it’s natural that you want to share its fullness with those you love and help open the door to a new perspective. It’s helpful, in this sense, to view the weight of responsibility to your wedding guests as a way to be witnesses, compassionate yet strong. You can choose to extend an opportunity for understanding the Catholic faith, ever the same, in a new and inviting light.

With a spirit of charity and intentionality in mind, there are ways you can lift up your family and friends in the hope that their hearts be more fully disposed to experience truth, goodness, and beauty on your wedding day.

Pray for your wedding guests.

Ultimately, of course, the point of your wedding is to enter into a sacrament with the one God has called you to love and sanctify. At the same time, the Church is a body, a community. The two of you aren’t in this alone, yet amid the busyness of preparing for your big day, it’s sometimes easy to lose sight of who it’s for. Make a conscious effort to step back and  view your guests as the individuals dear to you and to your families that they are, rather than an endless list of names for whom to track down RSVPs and seating assignments. Prayer, too, can shift your focus for the better. Clarity. Pray for your wedding guests by name as you address their invitations, offer a decade of the rosary for a different individual or family each day, and if you feel comfortable, invite guests to privately share their prayer intentions via email or your wedding website.

Consider limiting alcohol.

Dominic Prummer, O.P., a Dominican priest, wrote, “Drink to the point of hilarity.” This recommendation generally conveys a spirit of giddiness and freedom, but not mere license. If, depending on the dynamics of your guests, you anticipate the possibility of drunkenness putting a damper on your reception, consider choosing alcohol options that encourage choice and intention, rather than zero limits. You might opt for an open bar for the first few hours of the evening, for instance, then switch to cash later in the reception, or consider offering a smaller selection of spirits.

In all things, cultivate charity and peace.

So often, what sets a person of faith apart is in her actions, not just her words or theological arguments. The trials of wedding planning and preparation for marriage--last-minute emergencies, sexual self-control, delicate conversations over matters of faith or etiquette--all present an opportunity to conduct yourself with virtue, and to bear an example of Christ-like love to those in your life. Practically speaking, that might look like choosing peace over overreaction as inconveniences arise, sharing a few minutes of quality face time with each of your guests during your reception, reminding them of their value and your gratitude, and handling conversations about morals or manners with empathy in mind first, and conversion second.

The particular sense of responsibility each couple feels for their wedding guests varies by matters of faith, past wounds, and strengths and weaknesses among family members. We’ve known the pain of division and disagreement ourselves, and the desire to share what is good with loved ones. Know of our prayers for each of you, and know that in the Father all things are made whole--even if the fruits aren’t visible in this life. If there’s a particular way you’ve developed a heart of responsibility for your own friends and family, we’re eager to hear them in the comments and on our social media.

How He Asked | Sam + Kat

Sam and Kat met as college students, became fast friends, and eventually--under a starry sky--they both confessed deeper feelings for one another and became a couple. Kat recalls that Sam, "told me how he had liked me from the moment he first saw me. From then, it's been a beautiful, unbelievable relationship." 

In Kat's words: The proposal was so incredible! Throughout our whole relationship, Sammy and I knew we were going to get married. All I asked for in the proposal was that Sammy or someone get a picture. Sammy got several of his best friends involved, half of whom are talented photographers. Sammy began planning the proposal at the beginning of the year, and he was finally ready to propose on April. The original plan was to take me out into these beautiful fields and do astrophotography (photography of the night sky), writing out "will you marry me?" in Christmas lights on a hillside. Sam and his friends could not find enough extension chords, so they had to scrap that idea. They then came up with the idea to use a device called a pixel stick. Harrison (one of Sammy's friends involved in the proposal) owns a pixel stick, which is a pole around 6 or 7 feet long with a strip of LED lights running down it. The lights flash and change colors, and when a long exposure picture is taken, the light will either create a design or write out words or draw a picture. Sammy then hired a friend from our Church, Keith, who majors in graphic design to create a program that would make the pixel stick write out "Will You Marry Me?". Keith did an amazing job!

The night before the proposal, Sammy and all the guys drove out to Silverhill Farm to find the perfect location for the proposal. On April 8th, 2017, Sammy took me on a day long date that ended with the proposal. We played around with the pixel stick and did photography for an hour or two, and I was trying to convince myself I would be okay if Sammy didn't propose that day.

The last location we went to was a dirt road in the middle of a field. There was the beautiful tree in the background and the night sky was visible all around us. Harrison said he wanted to get a few pictures of the couple, so Sammy and I took our turn in front of the camera. Sam's best friend and best man Alan ran behind us with the pixel stick. Harrison called us over to look at the photo, and when I saw it, I just stared at the picture (shown above) for a solid 20 seconds. I turned around, and there was Sammy down on one knee asking me to marry him! I cried and jumped around, then he put my grandmother's wedding ring on my finger.  We then recreated the moment Sammy proposed (we didn't get a picture of the actual proposal, which I have hanging in my room. I love Sammy with all my heart, and I absolutely cannot wait to marry him June 23rd (The Feast of the Sacred Heart of Jesus), 2018!

Photography (top image): Harrison Tarabella (friend of groom) | Graphic Work: Keith (friend of couple) | Engagement Location: Silverhill, Baldwin County