Many couples enter into marriages without a clear understanding of what this vocation should look like when lived well.
We need help to navigate this sacred call but many of us come from broken homes or lack examples from which to learn. For this reason, mentorship can benefit many engaged or newlywed couples.
A mentor couple acts as this example while also providing support and encouragement to couples as they pursue holiness in marriage.
Finding the right mentor couple may take some time and prayer but here are some tips to help you get started.
Find a couple living the life you hope to live
Every couple has an idea for how they envision their future together. What do you hope your life together will look like in 5 years? 10 years? What are some challenges you might face?
Given the unique marital pressures brought by certain lifestyles or careers (like military, missionary, or doctor) having a mentor couple who could understand and relate to the joys and challenges you’ll face can help you navigate the ups and downs.
Get involved in the communities you are (or would like to be a part of). Getting to know the other members will help narrow down potential mentors.
Find a couple who loves like you hope to love
Can you think of a couple whose marriage inspires you to live and love well? Chances are, this couple probably has been married a bit longer than you and your significant other.
While having friends in the same state in life is important, your mentors should have more experience in living out their vocation.
That doesn’t mean your mentor couple needs to have 50+ years of marriage experience, but they need to have already walked where you’re walking to be able to provide you with their wisdom to help you on your way.
Find a couple you both trust
Since they will share more intimate thoughts and prayers, mentees should trust their mentors. That means, both husband and wife should find it easy to confide in the couple chosen for mentorship.
Again, this may take time and may take a little bit of searching but this will ultimately allow for more fruitful conversation between the couples.
Make a Plan
When you and your spouse find the right couple for you, you should formally ask them to be your mentors. Then you will need to make a plan to help make your time together more intentional and productive.
You can meet, in person or on Skype if your mentors live far away, as often as you and your mentors would like. However, meeting once a month is probably a good place to start.
You can make your meetings more formal by using resources such as these discussion questions or by reading a book together, but you don’t have to. Just grab some coffee or a meal and talk about how your marriage looks during the day-to-day. Ask questions and learn from one another.