Questions to Foster Emotional Intimacy

CARISSA PLUTA

 

Early in a relationship, couples often have an easier time asking probing questions to get to know their significant other in a deeper way.

But after the honeymoon phase has waned, couples can easily default to questions that require a simple response like: “How was your day?” or “How was work?”

Asking thoughtful questions and then actively listening to the answers your spouse gives can do a lot to foster emotional intimacy and connection between a husband and wife. 

Not yet married? Read more here on developing emotional intimacy during engagement.

Try asking your husband one (or all) of these questions on your next date night, or around the dinner table to get the conversation started. 

What are your dreams?

Dreams can grow and change over time as a person discovers more about who they are. So even if you knew your spouse’s dream during the seasons of dating and engagement, his dreams (and yours) may look different now then when you met. 

Asking your husband to share his dreams with you makes him feel known, while also revealing ways in which you can encourage your spouse in pursuing them. 

This question often generates discussion about dreams that you as a couple have for your family and future together.

What have you been thankful for recently?

As marriage move past the honeymoon stage, it is very easy for couples to take each other for granted; however, gratitude is an integral part of healthy relationships. 

Asking your spouse what he is thankful for gives him the opportunity to intentionally practice gratitude, enforcing it as a more regular habit. 

It can also help you, personally and as a couple, to focus on the present moment and all the gifts God has blessed you with. 

What has Jesus been saying to you in prayer?

This question goes even deeper than the classic “How is your prayer life?” 

It invites the listener into this innermost part of their spouse’s heart and may even help your spouse process the ways in which God has worked in their lives. 

Plus, it opens up the possibility for a longer conversation on spirituality and prayer which can be edifying for both people. 


About the Author: Carissa Pluta is Spoken Bride’s Editor at Large. She is the author of the blog The Myth Retold. Read more

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