Marriage opens a door to an on-going season of transition. This is no surprise; Spoken Bride editors and contributors have shared about the realities of marital transition in the context of decorating the home, in regards to navigating the emotions of transition, and with respect to leaving your parents for your spouse.
Like many new brides, the instant barrage of change following marriage left me feeling overwhelmed in my first year as a wife—from moving to a new home to navigating domestic responsibilities, forming an identity in my vocation and embracing an openness to life.
Finally, I heard a phrase that resonated with the ache of my heart: Change is the only constant.
These words became the title for a season in constant flux. Expecting change as a norm, however, gave me a sense of control and calm. For a time, these words seemed to offer consolation…And then, suddenly, they didn’t.
When I woke up on the one-year anniversary of our wedding, my new-found slogan made a mockery of my life, my identity and my confidence. While my husband traveled for work, I drank coffee in our quiet home, reflecting on the overwhelming number of transitions we had faced in one year and anticipating a daunting future of even more extreme change. Although the experiences have been positive—such as beginning a home together and expecting our first child—I was battered into defeat as I considered my weakness, my inability to handle the emotional ups-and-downs of the rest of our lives.
Even when the love between a husband and wife is tangible, real, pure, and fruitful, marriage will be attacked by a temptation to doubt and despair.
With a desperate need for peace, I turned to Scripture; the Holy Spirit met me in the book of James.
“Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers: all good giving and every perfect gift is from above, coming doing from the Father of lights, with whom there is no alteration or shadow caused by change. He willed to give us birth by the word of truth that we may be a kind of firstfruits of his creatures.”
If, in the silence of your heart, you can relate to feeling overwhelmed by the transitions and changes which accompany a new vocation, I hope you find peace in those holy words.
As the Father of Lights, God never changes, nor does his brightness ever fade. Every experience that comes within your married life is a good and perfect gift from him.
Believing “change is the only constant” in my life affirmed a false-truth in which I was living without desire or freedom. I believed I was a puppet to my circumstance. This verse from the book of James denies that lie through the truth of Love: with God, there is no shadow caused by change. Although at times the light may be dim, he is our constant companion of love and hope.
We are called to be receptive, present to each moment of our days. When our lives and our hearts feel battered by innumerable new circumstances and emotional transitions, peace is found in our Heavenly Father who is constantly, consistently shining his light into our lives. This is a truth which can set us free.
He is guiding the way and leading us to the fulfillment of vocation in sanctification. The road is not straight or clear or easy, but you are not alone in this journey.