Connecticut — Blog — SPOKEN BRIDE

A Christmastide nuptial Mass in the decorated church of the grand Basilica of St. John the Evangelist. Poinsettias and evergreen firs lined the sanctuary, crowned with a high-domed ceiling, stained glass windows, and gilt columns of gold. Later, carried into their “happily ever after” by a Cinderella carriage, the bride and groom celebrated their marriage in a fairytale castle ballroom.

It could be said that Our Lady Star of the Sea guided Siobhan and Michael through calm and stormy waters to the altar, where they exchanged their wedding vows. Looking back, Siobhan calls Michael her “miracle,” and reflects on their path from meeting at college through his proposal and their wedding—five years later.

From the Bride

I once told my husband that if our child ever asks how I know God exists, I’ll tell her: “because he gave me your father.”

Christ’s hand in my relationship with Michael was clear almost from the start. We met a few days after I arrived at Thomas Aquinas College; he was a senior, and I was a freshman. And within ten days, we were dating.

I can remember sitting next to him in the chapel praying a rosary. I was anxious, because it was clear that he really loved me, and while I knew I liked him a lot, I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to return his love. So I asked Our Lady to help me love him, and within days, there was no doubt in my mind that this was the real thing. Through that experience, I came to understand that love is truly a gift from God.

Given our hasty entry into dating, it might seem surprising that our wedding took place more than five years later. Our relationship hit some snags along the way. For a year, we actually went through a painful breakup. The suffering I experienced during that time was like nothing I’d ever felt, but in hindsight, I see how God was using that year to heal us and prepare us for marriage.

I struggled to let go of my own desire to be with Mike and to accept God’s will. About a year after we broke up, I had a profound experience of surrendering to God’s will. The next morning, I unexpectedly ran into Michael, and God took care of the rest. Humanly speaking, our relationship was hopeless, but the Lord took us in our woundedness and brought us closer together.

Later, Michael proposed on a tower overlooking the beautiful city of Prague in January 2019, and we were married in December that same year. Now, when I look at my husband, I know he is my miracle.

Throughout it all, God has consistently been with us and shown us his merciful love, and many angels and saints have played a part in our journey. Our Lady Star of the Sea, however, has guided us in a particular way.

When Michael and I were apart, I developed a deep devotion to Our Lady under this title. I was inspired to tell her that, if she answered my prayer for a husband and family, I would name my first daughter Maris Stella in her honor. After we were engaged, I told Mike this story, and he suggested entrusting our marriage to Our Lady Star of the Sea.

As I write this, God continues to show us his goodness—we are eagerly awaiting little Maris Stella’s arrival!

We wanted our wedding to be truly magnificent—to shower our guests with a sense of God’s infinite love. Many of our family and friends were not Catholic or even Christian, so we saw our wedding as an opportunity to share the beauty of our faith. Most importantly, we wanted to show beauty through the nuptial Mass, but also in tiny, intentional details throughout the day.

I’ve always been a hopeless romantic and a lover of fairy tales (as is my husband, to some extent), but I didn’t want a full-on fairytale themed wedding. Instead, we decided to include elements of the classic stories we loved and elements from the winter/Christmas season and the traditions of our Catholic faith.

The story of finding my wedding dress was providential. My appointment for dress shopping fell on the feast of St. Joseph, and I prayed a nine-day novena to him leading up to it, asking him to help me find the right dress. When we arrived at the store, we chose several gowns to try on, but the first one I put on was perfect. It was like it had been made for me.

I can’t help but think that St. Joseph had a hand in this—although I imagine he was perplexed by my request and consulted Our Lady for fashion advice!

Our nuptial Mass was held at the Basilica of St. John the Evangelist in my hometown of Stamford, Connecticut. We wanted the liturgy to be accessible to all our guests, but also to convey some of the grandeur and mystery of the Latin Mass. So we opted for a Novus Ordo liturgy with music in Latin.

For the Mass parts we chose Byrd’s Mass for Three Voices, and during the presentation of flowers to Our Lady, my college suitemates chanted the Ave Maris Stella—the perfect way to incorporate our devotion to Our Lady Star of the Sea. The Mass was celebrated by Fr. Peter Smolyk, a wonderful priest and the pastor at my family’s parish, but was con-celebrated by two other priests who have played important roles in our lives.

Some of my memories of our nuptial Mass are a blur, but certain moments stand out: walking down the aisle with my father; gazing on the tabernacle with a statue of the newborn Christ child just above it; choking back tears as I recited my vows; looking back at my dear friend and maid of honor for reassurance; and leading the congregation in reciting the Litany of Trust, one of our favorite prayers.

Our reception was held at Whitby Castle in Rye, New York, the perfect setting for a fairytale wedding. Ever since I was little, I have loved the story of Cinderella, and in some ways I think my first ideas about married love were formed while watching Disney movies.

The final scene of the Disney movie (where we see Cinderella and Prince Charming kiss through the rear window of their carriage) made a huge impact on me as a child.

When I learned of a local company that rented Cinderella carriages, I couldn’t resist! Aside from capturing the perfect photo in the carriage, the best part was watching the children riding in the carriage after we made our grand entrance.

The reception itself included treasured traditions and special moments. For me, our first dance carried deep significance. When Mike and I first met, he invited me to go waltzing with him (a Friday-evening tradition at our alma mater), so a waltz as our first dance seemed fitting. I am also grateful that I was able to have a father-daughter dance. At the time of our wedding, my dad had been struggling with a knee injury, and I suspect only his determination and God’s providence allowed him to dance with me!

Later in the evening, all the guests gathered on the floor for an Irish ceili, or group dance, in honor of our Irish heritage. Afterwards, Michael serenaded me with a song (partly) of his own composition. On our first date, he sang me the Irish ballad “Red is the Rose,” and it quickly became “our song.” The final verse is tragic, however, and for years Mike promised to write me a new ending. At our wedding reception, he finally debuted the full song for me, happy ending and all.

Lastly, our cake was truly a dream come true. When I was about 4 years old, I began collecting antique wedding cake toppers, and my collection now includes roughly 75! Our cake was crowned by my favorite set of toppers: a circa 1950’s set including not only a bride and groom, but a Catholic altar, a priest, and the wedding party.

Through the gift of my wedding day, God taught me that his grace is so much more powerful than our thoughts and emotions.

I wish I could say that I felt calm and at peace, but at times quite the opposite was true, especially leading up to our vows. At almost the moment I reached the altar, I was overtaken by anxiety and fear of entering into the sacrament. I think it was the devil’s last attempt to keep Mike and me apart. Throughout the Liturgy of the Word, I struggled to remain calm and trust in the Lord. To be honest, this feeling of anxiety didn’t fully resolve until much later in the day.

Imagine my surprise when we received the wedding photos and video. Throughout the day, I was smiling—not the “performance” smile I put on for photographs, but a real smile that radiates a profound joy.

Yes, I can see that I was choking back tears during our vows, but they were more than tears of apprehension. They were tears of a young woman who was knowingly joining her cross to that of her husband, understanding that we would suffer together, but accepting that suffering with God’s help.

In those photos and videos, I can see the grace of the sacrament shining through, and I realize that God was working in me on a much deeper level than I realized in the moment. He has shown me that whatever I’m feeling isn’t the full story of how he’s working miracles in my heart. It’s possible to be filled with his joy and peace even as we struggle with our human weakness.