Editors' Picks | Vol. 11: Wedding Favors

At Spoken Bride, we love a good book, a good meal, a standout statement necklace, a heel you can dance in, and the list goes on. And when we make those discoveries, we want to tell everyone. Every month or two, we share our latest and favorite finds in everything engagement, wedding, and honeymoon-related.

We've shared a selection of distinctively Catholic wedding favors with you before. Today, the editors chat about other give-worthy items that reflect who you are and offer your guests something beautiful, practical, or both.

Stephanie, Co-Founder & Editor in Chief

Personalized Wine Stoppers: For a winery reception or couples for whom wine or cocktails are a hobby, these American-made wine bottle stoppers featuring your names or invitation suite logo look great on countertops and serve a practical need.

Charitable donation: If you’d like one of your first gestures as husband and wife to be an act of giving, consider making a donation to charity. Be sure to share info with your guests identifying the organization and explaining its significance to you; it’s a unique opportunity to share a cause you’re passionate about. To keep things harmonious, I suggest choosing an organization without strong political or moral overtones. Catholic Relief Services, L’Arche USA, and The Laboure Society are all excellent options serving humanitarian causes and the future of the Church.

Christmas ornaments: A festive choice for Advent or Christmas season weddings, send your guests home with something to trim their trees. You might choose something as simple as glass spheres purchased in bulk, or as elaborate as a custom monogrammed option.

Personalized Pencils: A pretty and useful way to share your married names, wedding location, or phrase from a favorite saint or prayer in your wedding colors. I’d smile to receive these from a bride and groom who were teachers, artists, or writers, but would also appreciate them from just about anyone!

Andi, Business Director

Cookies: Consumable favors are my favorite, simply because the majority of guests will consume them and not leave them on the tables after the reception. My preference is to source from a local bakery, one that’s special to you or your wedding destination--my husband and I chose a famous bakery from his hometown--or go homemade with a family recipe.

Spices: One of my clients was a nutritionist who served Greek food at her reception and gave her guests a small jar of Greek seasoning to take home. I’m still using my jar, and every time I use it I think of the couple.

Handmade soap: Another excellent consumable! I’ve received these as favors before and loved using them in my bathroom and in the tub.

Hand-lettered quotes: Most people like inspirational quotes, and prints like these are a simple way to evangelize through beauty and truth.

Custom Rosaries: I was so impressed at my friend, who crafted a Rosary for each and every guest at her wedding. When I pray with it or even just see it, I instantly remember her and her husband’s special day.

Jiza, Co-Founder & Creative Director

Fans: If you are getting married during the hot season or if your reception will be outside, fans can be the perfect practical favor to help keep your guests cool. My husband and I got married in August, which can be very hot and humid in the South, so the fans we provided were well used during our reception.

Prayer Cards: A customized card of your patron saint is a beautiful way to share your faith with your wedding guests. Much like what you would see at an priestly ordination, you too can customize a card with your names, wedding date, patron saint(s), and a prayer. My husband and I created a card with Saint Raphael, Tobit, and Sarah on the front and with our names, date, and a quote on the back.

Food: Who doesn't love food? I can't pick just one category. There is an abundance of ideas out there when it comes to your favorite food as a wedding favor: your favorite spice rub, liquor, coffee, or even hot sauce. You can flip your favorite snack into a bar for creating candy bags or decorating donuts. Maybe you have a bakery or shop that you absolutely love. The possibilities are endless.

We love hearing your ideas and seeing the myriad ways your wedding details reflect who you are as a couple. Share the favors you gave out, or will give out, at your wedding, and the best favors you've received from others, in the comments and on our social media.

Vendor Spotlight | Gloriam Marketing

Sometimes, within your vocation, another call can arise and bear fruit. One bride’s wedding planning experience brought a uniquely personal and practical new dimension to her business.

In her eight years of working at a parish, Emily Ricci sensed a need: when unequipped with marketing essentials like attractive bulletins and fliers, she realized, it was easy to see why some perceive the Church as out of touch and not with the times. “In my experience,” she says, “evangelization and marketing go hand in hand.” The product, in this case, is Jesus Christ. While working in marketing for her alma mater, Emily founded Gloriam Marketing, providing marketing, consulting, and event planning services to Catholic churches throughout her home state of New York and beyond

When Emily married her husband Aaron in June 2017, she worked long and hard on Mass programs, but struggled to come up with wording for the reception of Communion, concerned about being as welcoming as possible to non-Catholic guests while still speaking the truth. “This was the one opportunity I would have to evangelize to our many family and friends who would be in attendance,” she shares. “The more I considered this idea, the more I realized my wedding provided not only an opportunity to explain the Eucharist to our family and friends, but also the entirety of a Catholic wedding: Why do Catholic weddings take place in a church? Why do we exchange rings? Why do Catholics view marriage as a sacrament, and what does that mean? I began to write, and soon it turned into a double-sided insert that went inside of our program for guests to read while waiting for the Mass to start. In these explanations, I attempted to approach the ‘rules’ with humor and acceptance, striving to really show our guests how welcome they were; explaining what was going on during the Mass, especially for those who may not have been familiar with Catholic traditions.”

The inserts were a hit. Numerous guests suggested Emily create similar text and inserts for other couples, and there began Gloriam’s wedding services. The company offers design and printing for Catholic wedding programs, as well as custom inserts detailing the Mass and ceremony, for both local and remote couples, each infused with Emily’s attention to clients’ individual aesthetic and needs.

 From Emily: What's unique about Gloriam is that unlike other designers and printers, I have a background in the Catholic faith, so I can work one-on-one with a client to make sure the information being presented is both beautifully designed and true to our faith. I am currently pursuing my Master's degree in theology, so I come at the creative process with the ability to work from both a design and theological standpoint with each client. Clients don't have to worry about coming up with content on their own; I work with each and every bride or groom on wording (I also have a degree in English, with a concentration in writing), language, and ensuring everything is theologically sound.

A major advantage of this work is that it can be done completely via email or Skype. Clients do not have to be from my area or even from the United States, which results in one less thing for couples to worry about during an already hectic time packed with other vendor meetings. 

I look at each project I take on as an opportunity from God to give him glory. As a recent bride myself, I recognize the stress each bride and groom are under to make their wedding day perfect, and appreciate helping make their day memorable with attention to details. As a society, I hope to see more couples witness to what a God-given marriage looks like. I like to think through my work, I am helping them in that witness.

Photography: Newman Photos, as seen in Emily + Aaron: College Memories Wedding

An interview with Emily

Hometown: Wappinger Falls, New York

Favorite saint: Saint Marie of the Incarnation. She’s my confirmation saint!

What is your favorite thing about working on weddings? Working on a wedding program gets me all nostalgic about my own wedding. And I love being a small part of the evangelization my couples will bring through their marriages! 

Favorite place I’ve traveled: Mystic, Connecticut. I used to go there for retreats with my family each year on Enders Island. Gorgeous.

On my bucket list: Trying out for The Voice. 

My favorite wedding-day memory: My father-in-law, who is extremely quiet and shy, grabbing my hand and taking me out on the dance floor at our reception. It should probably be something about my husband, but that is the first thing that pops into my mind because it was so unexpected. Romantically, my favorite moment was leaning over during the Mass and whispering to Aaron, "We're married!"

 Love means…Sacrifice. Sacrifice until it no longer feels like sacrifice.

GLORIAM MARKETING | WEBSITE | FACEBOOK | INSTAGRAM

Becca + Phil | Christmas Picnic Wedding

In the past, Becca and Phil had both discerned religious vocations. By the time they both felt ready to date and pursue marriage, they met online. Becca shared in her profile that her dream man wouldn’t be unlike Ebeneezer Scrooge’s nephew, Fred, in A Christmas Carol.

A few days later, she received a message from Phil, sharing that he was an actor currently playing the role of Fred. Their conversations began flowing nonstop. One week later, they met face to face, and began officially dating the following month on the Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe, who has since become their patroness.

From the Bride: We both knew pretty quickly that this was serious and we began to talk about marriage and family a few months in. During our courtship, we, who are both teachers, were both directing theatre shows at the same time that I was working and in grad school. Through all of the hectic scheduling and stress, we were still able to support each other through prayer and were able to attend every one of each other’s events.

After our engagement, things were crazy: I got a new job, Phil took on summer work to help with our expenses, and we decided to do all of the wedding planning ourselves. Yet through it all, there was so much growth and so many insecurities in us uncovered, so many new steps taken in our faith and so much joy shared in the chaos. With every step, we were extremely blessed. So many times we thanked the Lord for someone who was willing to help us or do something for the wedding for manageable rates. God continued to pull people out of the woodwork that consistently blessed us with financial gifts, emotional support or practical help. The Lord was so present there with us, and our celebrant and Pastor, Fr. Dan Leary, was a vital part of showing us or leading us into God's presence.

We got engaged at the Seton Shrine in Emmitsburg, Maryland, a place rich with meaning for us. We both feel very devoted to St. Elizabeth Ann Seton and still visit the Shrine often. During our dating and courtship, we prayed the St. Andrew Novena and Fr. Michael Gaitley’s 33 Days to Morning Glory Consecration to Mary. We followed that with Fr. Gaitley’s Consecration to Merciful Love. Right before our wedding, we wrote a novena that included all of our patrons.

The Mass was the most important part of planning for us. Though we were frequently told we needed to focus more on reception items, attire, or favors, both of us felt strongly that the Mass shouldn’t be on the back burner. We wanted the day to be focused on the sacrament and desired that the Mass would draw our friends and family closer to the Lord and the Church.

As musicians ourselves, the music for the liturgy was very important to us. We were blessed by eight of our close friends singing as a choir and by 3 priests who concelebrated the Mass. The liturgy opened with "Jesus, All for Jesus" and ended with "God, We Praise You," because this was the reason we decided to get married: to offer ourselves as a gift to God, to do His will, love Him and love each other.

The readings were from Song of Solomon 2:8-10, 14, 16; Psalm 34, Romans 12 and John 17. Fr. Dan's homily was focused on the reality of the sacrament, not just the symbolic gesture. His theme was 1+1=1, which quickly became our wedding hashtag. He focused "this body, broken for you" and our sacrifice for one another, in flesh and spirit. One of the most moving moments of the Mass was during the Communion meditation, set to the song "Even Unto Death" by Audrey Assad. It was, and is, our continued commitment to God and each other. There was a great witness during that moment that has been echoed by several of our guests, some of whom are not even Christians. We are confident that their testimony is the fruit of prioritizing the liturgy above everything else.

The day was full of trust and peace. We both took the morning pretty slowly and enjoyed some quality time with friends and in prayer. The celebration itself was also pretty simple. Because we paid for most things ourselves, we kept expenses to a minimum.

We used the December Christmas season to our advantage, calling our reception our "Christmas Picnic". We used chalkboards, biodegradable snow, white lights, curtains, pine and holly to decorate. We used pine and cedar disks as centerpieces, with lanterns on top. Phil even built a s'mores bar where guests could roast marshmallows. The meal featured picnic items: sandwiches, salads, lemonade, and chips, followed by hot chocolate, tea, hot cider and coffee. The casual theme allowed for a peaceful and fun atmosphere, where everyone could really relax and celebrate.

My dress was a beautifully unexpected choice. I went shopping with ideas in my head, but ended up with something totally different than I’d originally imagined.

At the reception, people continually came up to us raving about the ceremony. That was so wonderful after our frequent prayers that our Mass would be the focus of the day.

Despite cake getting on both of us (Phil had asked me not to, but some seminarians sitting by the cake pressured me into it at the last minute!), we were both overjoyed. We made lots of rounds to see everyone and remember the reception flying by. It truly was everything we thought it would be.

It was truly so meaningful as Catholics. The Mass was a milestone and because I'm a convert, it was so beautiful putting the whole thing together and seeing every part's meaning; the intention behind every word and motion. Our day was so special because the highlight, truly the "source and summit" was the Mass, the Eucharist and the sacrament of Matrimony. Having almost 200 people there to share this amazing occasion was so overwhelmingly beautiful and moving. We feel so blessed by Fr. Dan, by our family and what our wedding was and is for us now.

Photography: Amy Leigh Horan Photography http://www.amyleighhoran.com/ Church: St. Joseph's Catholic Church, Emmitsburg, Maryland | Reception Venue: Thurmont American Legion, Thurmont, Maryland | Engagement ring by Wholesale Diamond Consultants: http://www.wdc14k.com/, Flowers by Freesia & Vine: https://favflowers.com/, Invitations designed by the Bride and printed by Vistaprint: https://www.vistaprint.com/?rd=1, Decor Rental by I Do, You Do Wedding Decor Rentals: http://www.facebook.com/idoyoudo.wedding.rentals and Freesia & Vine: https://favflowers.com, Catering by Wegman's: https://www.wegmans.com/, Bride's dress from I Do I Do: https://www.idoidoweddinggowns.com/, Bride's veil from Your Heirloom Veil: https://www.etsy.com/shop/YourHeirloomVeil, Bride's shoes from Cinderollies: https://www.cinderollies.com/, Bride's jewelry from Lizardi Bridal: https://www.etsy.com/shop/LizardiBridal, Bride's fur bolero from Meshka Bridal: https://www.etsy.com/shop/MeshkaBridal, Groom and Groomsmen tie clips from SiBelle Jewelry: https://www.etsy.com/shop/SiBelleJewelry, Bride's Ring from Pompeii3: https://www.etsy.com/shop/Pompeii3, Groom's Ring from Manly Bands: https://manlybands.com/, Groom's suit, tie and shoe, and groomsmen ties by JcPenney: https://www.jcpenney.com/, Cake baked by Kelly Clabaugh, Fairfield, PA; Bride's makeup by Kim Sykes, Mary Kay Rep; DJ by Greffen Audio Visual: https://www.facebook.com/Greffen-Audio-Visual-232231706827995/; Reception Coordinator: Linda O'Brien, Mass Music provided by local musician friends, Cake Topper by Momo Rad Rose: https://www.etsy.com/shop/MomoRadRose

When You and Your Sister Are Both Engaged

KAT FINNEY + GENEVIEVE ALLEN

Do you have not just your own wedding drawing near on the calendar, but that of someone else you’re close to?

Kat and Genevieve are sisters who got engaged within three days of each other and were married in the same year. “Wedding planning together was one of the sweetest experiences of our lives,” shares Kat, “but it can also come with some challenges.” For other women planning their weddings at the same time as their own sisters, family members, or close friends, we’re honored to share the fruits of these ladies’ wisdom.

Practical Considerations

Photography: Sabree Hill Photography, seen in Katherine + Jonathan | New Orleans Traditions Wedding

In Kat’s words: One of the more obvious benefits to being engaged at the same time as your sister is the mutual experience of planning for one of life’s biggest moments. You get to giggle over wedding magazines and dream about the future together. It’s like that time you marched down the aisle of your shared bedroom together, humming “da da da dum” and wearing veils made of curtains, only it’s real. Take some time together to go to lunch and let it sink in that this is really happening. Take pictures. Toast each other. Soak it up.

A great practical benefit of getting married around the same time as my sister was familiarizing ourselves with vendors in the area. You might consider working with wedding vendors who offer referral packages, should you both choose to book with them. We used many of the same vendors, not only because we liked what they had to offer, but also because many of them had referral offers in exchange for spreading the word about their businesses.

One possible downside: we were concerned since our weddings were in the same year, our guests would have déjà vu once they went to the second wedding. The key when using the same vendors is to stay true to your own taste. It was very tempting for me to just copy all of Gen’s décor, simply because I knew she had great ideas and her wedding would be beautiful. But even though I loved everything about Gen’s wedding and the details she chose, I would have been untrue to myself if I hadn’t gone with my own choices. Never compromise your own style, even when your bestie’s is temptingly gorgeous.

Photography: Marroquin Photography, seen in Genevieve + Dalton | Holiday Rock 'n' Bowl Wedding

In Genevieve’s words: Kath and I even had some of the same bridesmaids, so we tried to be conscious of cost when making choices for our bridal party. That's at least two dresses, showers, and bachelorette parties your favorite girls might feel pressure to pay for, so consider what investments could be optional. For example, does it really matter that all of your bridesmaids are in heels? No. So request that your girls wear nude shoes, but don't specify a style. If you want everyone in the same kind of jewelry, provide that as your bridesmaid gift.

Lots of these little things won't actually matter to you in the end, but they can provide big savings for some of the most important women in your life. I actually wish I hadn't been so firm on the color of bridesmaid dress for my wedding, because I now love the trend of mismatched but coordinating gowns. This cost consideration goes for wedding guests, too. If you have a registry, include a wide range of items and price points. Whether you’re getting married in the same year as your sister or not, this is a considerate thing to do.

Things to Do Together and Apart

Kat: One of the best decisions Gen and I made was to scheduling our own individual dress appointments, as opposed to trying to find our dresses at the same time. The first time we ever tried on dresses, we decided we’d go and both look together. It would kill two birds with one stone, right?

Sabree Hill Photography

Wrong. We ended up not really being able to shop well, each wondering if our sister was going to want the same dress or bringing dresses off the racks for each other while forgetting to look for ourselves. We hated every dress we tried on that day and felt discouraged after leaving. This may not be how everyone experiences shared dress shopping dates, but both of us highly recommend making separate appointments. The main reason is it takes the pressure off and allows you to better dote on your friend or sister as she shops for her gown.

Marroquin Photography

Genevieve: Ultimately, this day is about you, your future spouse, and your marriage. It can be easy to forget about that when you’re covered in bridal magazines and fabric swatches. Some things, like choosing shoes or wedding jewelry, are naturally going to be better sister activities.

Most wedding decisions and preparation, however, should be focused on you and your spouse. You probably will be able to identify which wedding tasks your fiancé won't care too much about, but give him the opportunity to make decisions with you before assuming he won't be interested. For example, I knew my fiancé cared not at all about flowers, so this was one aspect of planning Kath and I had a great time tackling together.

Keeping It Prayerful

Kat: We suggest saying a novena together in preparation for your weddings. Obviously this can be done with your fiancé, but it can also be done with your bestie. Nothing is more important in the wedding planning process than spiritual preparation. And when you know you have the spiritual support of your best friend, it can be a real source of grace and inspiration during a potentially stressful time.

Gen and I both took different routes for marriage prep within the Church. It’s good to recognize that your relationship and your sister’s are different, and that no one option is a “best” choice; there’s only a best choice suited to you and your fiancé as a couple.

Sabree Hill Photography

My fiancé and I met regularly with the deacon at the church where we got married, along with about a dozen couple-to-couple meetings. I couldn’t recommend this more, especially if you know a couple you admire and if you have the time to meet. This brought up so many difficult questions that we were able to answer before getting married, and we had tons of fun with the couple who guided us. The downside to this route is if you don’t know the couple leading you or have trouble relating to them, this could be a very dull, drawn out, and frustrating process, so the Engaged Encounter weekend may be better if you don’t have a mentor couple in mind.

Genevieve: My husband Dalton and I chose to do an Engaged Encounter instead of a mentor couple. We liked the idea of being isolated in a retreat-type setting for our marriage prep, away from distractions.

Marroquin Photography

I could probably write an entire book on the pros and cons of that weekend. Overall, it was very meaningful. We learned a lot about each other, ate bad retreat food, prayed for our future family, learned an overview of NFP (luckily we had our own Creighton instructor to fill in the rest), and generally felt a lot more prepared for marriage. If you have some hurdles to overcome prior to your wedding day--differences in faith practices, family of origin issues, or questions about Church teaching, the couple to couple option might be a more fruitful experience for you.

Finally, try to resist the temptation to compare your engagement, wedding, or relationship to that of your sister and her fiancé. We have found the best way to overcome this is to simply love and want the best for each other. Prayer can help with this, and so can open communication with your future spouse and your sister.

I found that my biggest point of comparison with Kath was actually our rehearsal dinner speeches. Her toast was the perfect blend of humor and emotion, and even as she was delivering it, I was regretting that mine wasn’t as good. I had to try to let that feeling go quickly because I wanted to enjoy the moment, but I’m still kind of jealous, even now! That girl can give a speech.

The joyous swirl of wedding planning is made even better when you are experiencing it with your sister. No one can better understand why you might feel the need to burst into tears when you finally find the perfect cake topper after hours of browsing on Etsy. No one is better at letting you know when you might be veering off into Bridezilla territory. No one's smile will be bigger when you finally walk down the aisle. Well, your fiancé's smile should probably be bigger, but yours might be almost as big.

Visit, or revisit, Kat and her husband Jonathan's wedding here and Genevieve and her husband Dalton's, both rich with New Orleans traditions, here.

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About the Authors: Genevieve and Katherine are sisters and best friends from New Orleans, Louisiana. Gen is the older sister, a nurse and lactation consultant living in Louisiana. Kat is a former high school religion teacher who now stays at home in Pittsburgh with her daughter. Gen loves to stay inside and cozy up to a good book; Kat loves to be outside and to do karaoke with her husband. Gen is the introvert; Kat is the extrovert. Since they live far away from each other, they use their blog, The Sister Post, as one way to keep up communication lines and to share ideas and stories with each other and their readers. The purpose of their blog is to empower women to share in a common sisterhood; they see each other as their best resource, and they hope by sharing their own ideas, tips, and stories, other women will be uplifted by the online sisterhood they've created.

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Enter Our Summer Giveaway with Radiant Magazine + Anthropologie!

June brings with it bare feet, travel, reading that stirs the soul, and, hopefully, a marriage celebration or two on your calendar. We want to help you set the stage.

With wedding season in full swing, we’ve collaborated with Radiant Magazine, a quarterly print periodical for Catholic young women, to gift one lucky follower a copy of Radiant's Summer 2018 Love Issue, featuring Spoken Bride, and a $50 gift card to Anthropologie (also good for Anthro's wedding line, BLDHN!). To enter:

1. Follow @spokenbride and @radiantmag on Instagram.
2. On the corresponding giveaway post in Instagram, tag a Catholic bride-to-be or newlywed in a comment. Each separate comment is a chance to win.

The giveaway begins today and ends Tuesday, June 19, 2018 at 11:59pm EST/ 8:59pm PST. Winner will be randomly selected and notified via Instagram on Friday, June 22, 2018.

Click here to read the official giveaway rules.

6 Options for Selling or Donating Your Wedding Gown

Do you have plans for your wedding gown after your walk down the aisle? The choice is a personal one that might include preserving it for a relative, friend, or future daughter, repurposing it into baptism or First Communion pieces for your children--truly a visual representation that the bond established on your wedding day bears spiritual fruit through the years--or giving your dress to other brides, which fosters both sisterhood and a green sensibility.

If you’ve chosen to sell or donate your gown, the options can be overwhelming. Here, our curation of the best organizations the dress donation world has to offer, including some distinctively Catholic resources.

Photography: Juliana Tomlinson Photography

For the ease of online transactions

Preowned Wedding Dresses: This online marketplace, the largest out there for bridal items, boasts 14 years of credibility and facilitates gown and accessory re-sales directly between buyers and sellers. It’s designed to minimize hassle and maximize profit, offering a one-time listing fee with no commission for the site, a dress value calculator, and a conveniently specific search function that makes it easy for your gown to appear in listings.

To give to military couples

Brides Across America: A nonprofit dedicated to military and first responder brides, this organization supports the men and women whose life’s work is our freedom, providing free wedding gowns at their events nationwide. Gowns less than five years old are accepted for consideration.

To support humanitarian causes

Adorned in Grace: This bridal shop and design studio in the Portland, Oregon area accepts wedding dresses five years old and newer, in-store or by mail, to be repurposed or redesigned by at-risk girls in the area, including those who’ve been in the foster care system or have been traficking victims. Rooted in a mission to convey to these young women their dignity, worth, and identity in Christ and to model the love and hope of faith-centered weddings, proceeds from the nonprofit go to design workshops, education, and/or counseling from human traficking survivors.

Brides for Haiti: A project of St. Mary’s parish in the Archdiocese of Washington, the Brides for Haiti program sells secondhand wedding and formal attire. Profits benefit St. Mary’s sister parish, St. Joseph’s, in Carcasse, Haiti, including health, education, and infrastructure initiatives. Volunteers and seamstresses are on-site at events to answer questions and provide information about the cause. Stay informed about calls for donations--in person or by mail--and upcoming sale events via the project’s Facebook page.

The Bridal Garden: Located in the heart of Manhattan, this not-for-profit shop dedicated to education specializes in discounted designer gowns from boutiques and donations. Earnings benefit disadvantaged schools and children in New York City.

To support the Church

Religious life: Our sisters in religious life are every bit the bride, espoused to Christ through their vows. In several orders, including the Colettine Poor Clares, Schoenstatt Sisters of Mary, Franciscan Sisters of the Immaculate, and some Carmelite orders, it’s customary for women to profess their solemn vows in wedding attire. Contact communities in your area directly to discuss the possibility of donating your gown.

Parish resales: Parishes nationwide hold periodic sales of secondhand gowns, with proceeds benefiting the church or diocese. This donation option not only supports the parish community in your area, but encourages shopping locally. To keep up with forthcoming sale events and inquire about making a donation, try subscribing to your diocese’s newspaper, emails, or social media platforms and keeping an eye out in weekly bulletins.

Have you or are you planning to donate your dress? We love hearing about the local and national programs that support other women in their call to marriage, so be sure to share what additional means of donating you’ve employed in the comments and on our social media.

Abigail + Joe | Notre Dame Basilica Wedding

Abby and Joe had been Spanish classmates, co-retreat planners, and even sat with friends at the same table for meals, never speaking, for their first three years at Notre Dame University. It was on a bench in the football stadium that they first officially met and, in Abby’s words, “that we truly saw each other for the first time.” By the end of the game, they both wondered why they’d never talked before.

Early on in their dating relationship, they both knew the Lord was calling them to marriage. They spent a semester apart as Abby studied abroad in London and Joe in Chile, then were reunited for their senior year.

The fall after graduation, they returned to Notre Dame for Abby's birthday, where they headed straight for the campus grotto. It led to their favorite tree, a site of many late-night conversations. There stood a group of their friends, candles in hand. Along the path from the tree to a nearby lake where they first began dating, friends and family were gathered;  at each stop, they read a line from a poem Joe had written for Abby.

Finally, at the final stop at the lake, Joe asked Abby to marry him. Even without any lights, and though Joe forgot which hand the ring goes on, “it was perfect.”

From the Bride: The two years between graduating college and getting married were joyful, but tough. Joe was in a Master’s program that required him to live in community and delayed marriage, so we spent those years long-distance. Since we had a long engagement, we were able to dive into marriage preparation--reading books, praying together, having so much fun dreaming about our future, and continuing to learn about each other and ourselves. We also, however, really struggled to be grateful for this time of preparation in our desire to just be married. Looking back, the distance was incredibly difficult, but through God’s grace it brought us closer to him and to each other.

When envisioning our wedding, the word we kept returning to was joy. We were so excited to be entering into the sacrament of marriage, and we wanted that joy to permeate the day. There were tons of stressful moments (I could never be a wedding planner!), but joyful ones, too: picking out my dress with my mom, designing my ring from my great-grandmother’s wedding band, practicing our vows and first dance, and spending time with our family and best friends at all the pre-wedding festivities.

Joe and I decided to do a first look for a couple of reasons. I thought I would be super nervous, since I don’t like being in front of crowds, I hoped seeing him first would help with that. While, miraculously, I wasn’t a bit nervous, it was incredible to start our wedding day by walking to the church hand in hand.

We wanted to do a Marian devotion, but didn't have time during our ceremony. So we did our first look at the Notre Dame grotto, a place where we have prayed with Mary many, many times--both together and as single people before we met. We left flowers in the hands of Saint Bernadette’s statue: a rose for Saint Therese of Lisieux and a lily for Saint Joseph, two of our favorite saints.

The Mass was our favorite part to plan, and the absolute best part of our wedding day. We were married at the Basilica of the Sacred Heart on Notre Dame’s campus, a church where both of us had come to know Christ’s love during our time at as students. The Mass was full of music, joy, and celebration. During the ceremony, I kept thinking this is what heaven would be like.

We are blessed by friends with musical gifts, and our music was unreal. We had an organ, violin, cello, and a whole choir lifting their voices in prayer. For our preludes we chose “Song of Ruth,” “Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring,” and a Litany of the Saints. Our wedding party walked down the aisle to “Gabriel's Oboe,” and then my dad and I walked to “Arise, My Love.” Our readings were Jeremiah 31:31-34, and 1 John 4:7-12, and our Gospel was John 15:9-12.

We had talked with our friend and celebrant, Fr. Pat, during marriage preparation about how many of our friends and family are not Catholic. He made sure to explain parts of the Mass so everyone was involved. He gave an incredible homily (you can hear a little of it in our wedding video), and laughter filled the Basilica when a giant fly flew on Joe’s face in the middle of our vows.

One of my favorite moments was during the preparation of the gifts. The choir sang “The Servant Song” while we sat and soaked up the reality that we were finally married. We administered communion as our first act as husband and wife, and then exited the church to “O God Beyond All Praising,” our favorite hymn. It was more joyful than we could have ever imagined.

Since we were married in the summer and love the outdoors, we chose the Blue Heron at Blackthorn for our reception venue because it has an outdoor tent attached to the ballroom. I adore flowers, so I gave our florist, Poppies by Polly, and our wedding planner, Belle Behind the Ball, the reins to cover the space in an abundance of flowers. The best moments were the toasts, the dances, and witnessing our friends and family mingle and get to know each other. It was such a gift being surrounded by so much love.

From The Groom: Our wedding Mass was amazing. We just had so much fun. From standing at the altar seeing our favorite church fill with our favorite people, to crying as I alternated between looking at Abby and being overwhelmed with gratitude for God’s love for us, my heart was filled with joy.

Something that stands out to both of us is how often other people have said they felt the same way. Months after our wedding day, friends and family members still bring up moments from the liturgy: everyone crying during the Litany of Saints; three of my groomsmen standing up and belting the psalm, “I Will Praise Your Name”; how close Abby and I continuously tried to sit next to each other during the readings and homily. One of the most common statements we heard upon leaving the church was, “I didn’t know how much fun it could be to be Catholic.”

God visibly worked inside the hearts of others on our wedding day. People felt comfortable picking the brain of our priest at the cocktail hour. A friend who is dating a Catholic woman, but is not Catholic himself, found me during the reception to tell me he was considering having a Catholic wedding ceremony after attending ours.

I share these stories to point to the work that God did on our wedding day. We became a sacrament of God’s love for the world the moment we exchanged our vows. Our Mass, our marriage, is not just for us. It is for everyone who was in the church that day, and everyone we will meet going forward.

To close, our advice would be to worry over the little details. We stressed over a lot of the wedding planning, but at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what food you eat or what colors you choose. What matters is the sacrament you are entering into. And trust us: when you give him the space to work in you, God will show up and amaze you with his love.

Photography: Soul Creations Photography | Church: The Basilica of Notre Dame, Notre Dame, Indiana | Wedding Reception Venue : Blue Heron at Black Thorn, South Bend, IN | Rings: Diamond Gallery - Hers, Fred Meyers Jewelry - His | Florals: Poppies by Polly | Rentals: Burns Special Event Rentals & Pro Show | Transportation: Royal Excursion | Caterer: Blue Heron at Blackthorn | Bridal Gown: Bridal Gallery in Grand Rapids | Shoes: Nordstrom | Bridesmaids' Attire: Vow to be Chic (https://www.vowtobechic.com/)
Bridesmaids' Gifts: Hatch Prints | Groom's Suit: Louie’s Tux Shop | Groomsmen Gifts: Louie’s Tux Shop | Groomsmen Attire: Louie’s Tux Shop | Cake: C’est La Vie Cakes | Hairstylist: Bethza Professional Makeup Artist Studio | Makeup Artist: Bethza Professional Makeup Artist Studio | Choral Ensemble: Folk Choir of Notre Dame | Cocktail Music: Samantha Kasmer | DJ: 27 Entertainment (https://www.27e.co/) | Coordination: Belle Behind The Ball Wedding & Event Planning, bellebehindtheball.com | Photobooth: EA Pro Music (https://www.eapromusic.com/) | Ice Cream Sundae Bar: American Espresso Catering Co.

The Sophia Series | Annamarie

ANNAMARIE HAMILTON

I met my husband Kevin in college. We were best friends for about a year; as time passed, it became obvious that we had feelings for each other. From very early on in our courtship, we knew we would end up getting married. We knew we had each found the one who was God’s perfect match for us. Kevin proposed during my senior year, and the following August we got married. While our marriage has been far from perfect, we had had a fairly easy time for the first five years.

Photography: Mandy Chappel Photography

During that time we had three children; Dominic, Lucy, and Simon. Although having children definitely changed our marriage and made life harder and more stressful in general, we were still living a happy and generally peaceful life, and our marriage was as solid as ever.

On August 8th of 2017, a few days before our fifth anniversary, we ended up taking two-year-old Lucy to the Emergency Room. She had been very lethargic for a few days and wouldn’t eat anything. We were completely blindsided when she was diagnosed with leukemia.

Kevin and I were both in complete shock. It is the kind of thing that you think will never happen to you until it does.

The next few days were an emotional whirlwind of new information, surgeries, chemo, and hospitalization. Two days later, as we celebrated our anniversary in the Operating Room waiting area, I remember thinking and talking about our marriage, and how this was something we never could have planned for.

In our vows we say “in sickness and in health,” but we never really thought seriously that we’d have to deal with real sickness, or what that would look like.

That day, we talked about how grateful we were to be going through that together. To have someone else who knew exactly we felt and who loved our daughter just as much. Although this is never where we thought we would be, five years into our marriage there is no one else I would want to go through this with. Over the past few months, Kevin and I have grown closer than ever, and I think our marriage is stronger than ever. We have had to lean on each other and learned to love and support our spouse even as we deal with our own pain. That has given us a bond we could never have imagined.

This journey with cancer is far from over, yet we feel our family is finally in a good place again, and everyone has learned to adjust to the “new normal” that is our lives. We already feel stronger as a family and as a husband and wife from having gone through this. Although this time of our lives has been the hardest yet, we feel confident that if we can get through this, we can get through anything.

Annamarie’s words of wisdom for brides:

Don't be afraid to be dependent on each other, rather than trying to work out problems on your own.

Pray for each other.

Don't take the little, everyday things for granted.

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About the Author: Annamarie Hamilton is a stay-home-mom from Baltimore, Maryland. She is married to her best friend Kevin and together they have three children: Dominic, Lucy, and Simon.

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The Royal Wedding and its Insights Into Evangelization

STEPHANIE CALIS

Unlike some of my friends, I didn’t closely follow the royal wedding for months in advance. Not out of disdain, but simply out of having other interests, I’d never really heard of Meghan Markle or watched her TV show, and I generally associated Prince Harry with the wilder, more controversial antics of his youth. Until it all became impossible to ignore.

In the days preceding the wedding, the lead stories on seemingly every news outlet and style blog I follow involved Meghan and Harry: how would they incorporate American rituals into a traditional English ceremony? What musical selections would they choose? Would Meghan wear the Queen’s signature nail polish shade? Before I knew it, I was drawn in, growing in appreciation for what seemed like a genuine, natural love, with sense of equality and mutual admiration between the two.

What was it that made someone like me, who’d been mostly indifferent to the royals, so intrigued by their nuptials? And what made so many others, the world over, feel the same? Particularly in our culture where marriage is received with cynicism, and in light of Harry’s mother, Princess Diana’s disillusionment with her own marriage--her lack of a fairy-tale ending after the original televised royal wedding--our obsession suggests there remains something captivatingly hopeful about the union of man and wife.  

On some level, there’s a realization that marriage still means something big, and we want to see relationships flourish and succeed. Love is worth rooting for, and commitment through good times and bad merits respect even from skeptics.

In the days after the wedding, I found myself scrolling through photos and clips of the service, attire, and family portraits. For those of us who aren’t duchesses, Meghan and Harry’s witness to love and service offers some valuable insights into how we can be witnesses, too.

As faithful Catholics whose wedding guests might or might not be in a similar place spiritually, the desire to evangelize through your wedding Mass and celebration is a natural one. In concrete, sensory ways, like incense, music, the readings, and a program that explains Catholic traditions in a clear, charitable way, that’s possible. I admired how the royal incorporated songs and a sermon from American Christian traditions without much fanfare, simply letting these inclusions speak for themselves. A concrete, yet humble witness. In an even more radical way, the Catholic faith has its own way of speaking for itself, stirring the soul to pay closer attention to the whispers, the longings, deep within.

Consider, as well, all the less obvious, unspoken ways the truth, beauty, and goodness of your marriage can, and will, also shine forth: treating each guest with attention and graciousness; meeting them where they are; exhibiting a spirit of reverence and resolve through prayer and worship simply by being your authentic selves; waiting until after the wedding to move in together. When you lead with the heart, prioritizing relationship over argument, your family and friends become well-disposed to receive, and can look past differences of opinion as their experiencing you and your beloved entering into marriage speaks to God’s grace.

The day after the royal wedding, sin and evil still existed in the world and our culture remained as politically fractured as ever. The wedding, however, stopped so many of us in our tracks for a moment and invited the world to step back from its brokenness and division. In the same way, your wedding day won’t heal yours or your guests’ every wound. Yet with beauty, virtue, and purity of heart, it can testify to something powerful and real without a word.

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About the Author: Stephanie Calis is Spoken Bride's Editor in Chief and Co-Founder. She is the author of INVITED: The Ultimate Catholic Wedding Planner (Pauline, 2016). Read more

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Cynthia + Chad | Midwestern Traditions Wedding

It was through FOCUS that Cynthia first developed a deeper spiritual life, attending daily Mass and praying before the Blessed Sacrament several times a week. She was deeply convicted about cultivating a relationship with Christ during her single years and forming habits that would carry over into her future vocation.

It was through a match app that she met Chad. After a few phone calls across their distance of an hour and a half, followed by dinner and several subsequent dates, Chad asked Cynthia to be his girlfriend.

Eight months later, Cynthia found herself at the Church of the Wedding Feast at Cana in the Holy Land while on a trip with Dynamic Catholic. There at the sacred site where Jesus turned water into wine, the couples on the trip renewed their wedding vows, with each bride carrying a single red rose.

From the Bride: Shortly before the trip, I read St. Therese of Lisieux’s autobiography. She said, “When I die, I will send down a shower of roses from the heavens, I will spend my heaven by doing good on earth.” St. Therese is known for sending “signs” in the form of roses. I said a quick prayer asking her to send me a “sign” about my relationship with Chad, but quickly forgot about it.”

After the vow renewal at Cana, the group gathered outside the church. One of the women in the group, whom I hadn’t met, walked over to me, crying. She said she didn’t know why, but she suddenly felt the urge to give me her red rose and to tell me that “there is someone out there for you.” I knew that the rose was sent to me from Therese. I felt overwhelming inner peace that my vocation was marriage, and that Chad was the man I was supposed to marry. Less than four months later, Chad took me to his parent’s small cabin to fish. He handed me a fishing pole with an engagement ring hooked to it; I turned to look at him, and he was down on one knee to propose.

We desired that our wedding be Christ-centered, that it reflect the beauty of spring, and that it embodied the small-town fun of our home state, Nebraska.

After our wedding rehearsal, Chad and I both went to Confession. Our rehearsal dinner was on a Friday in Lent, so we had a fish fry! Along with fried fish, Chad’s sisters made cheesy potatoes and an assortment of delicious salads and desserts.

My mom and all of my aunts included a rosary in their wedding bouquets, and it was important to me to continue the tradition. Mom gave me a blue rosary bracelet to place in my flowers. Before the ceremony, my bridesmaids and I, along with some female guests, prayed the rosary together. That time in prayer was beautiful, and brought me so much peace.

We chose Jesus’ first miracle at Cana for our Gospel reading because of my experience in the Holy Land. After communion, my friend did a stunning job singing the Litany of the Saints. I get goosebumps on my arms every time I hear it. Next, Chad and I went and stood in front of a statue of the Blessed Mother. As we listened to the moving melody of “Ave Maria,” we offered our marriage to her.

I wanted a spring theme for our wedding, so we chose a powder-blue color and garden-inspired décor. Almost all of our vendors were local. A florist in a neighboring town, for instance, owns a thriving business called Stitches and Petals. I described to her my vision of white garden roses with an assortment of greenery, and the flowers in the bridal bouquets and reception décor were stunning; exactly what I was looking for. Even the family was involved, which was special for all of us! Chad’s aunt makes cakes for many local weddings and special occasions, and she created an amazing naked wedding cake for us.

We were married in Howells, a small town of about 600 people. In very typical small-town Nebraska fashion, the wedding party traveled from the church to the reception by way of a trolley hooked to a John Deere tractor. We invited any of our guests, kids included, to ride along.

It’s tradition in Howells to stop at the bar in town before arriving at your wedding reception. Many of the guests stop there, too, and the bride and her bridesmaids dance on the bar top with the jukebox playing in the background. My mom even joined in on the fun.

All of the town’s wedding receptions take place at the Howells Ballroom. After the wedding party arrives at the reception, the bride and groom cut the cake so it can be served with dinner. Approximately 475 people joined us at the reception--many guests are also very typical in a small town. Chad chose the menu which included chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes, corn, and a dinner roll. It was catered by a family friend who serves many of the local weddings.

At the ballroom, dinner is served buffet-style as the host couple invites guests to get in line. In keeping with the tradition of guests clinking their silverware on glasses to signal the bride and groom to kiss, it’s also common in Howells for guests to start chanting the names of the couples’ parents while clinking, encouraging them to stand and kiss, as well.

To preserve my bridal bouquet after the wedding, I had it turned into a rosary that I now use several times a week.

Chad and I are now one in union with Christ. One thing I remember most from our wedding day was how much joy I felt. Many guests commented on how happy I looked--the whole day, I could not stop smiling. At the reception, I was telling one of my good friends that “it [the wedding day] is the best day of my life!” She replied, “Just wait, it keeps getting better and better.” I keep returning to this phrase. Now that we have been married almost a year, I realize just how true her statement is.

Photography: Jenn Wiemann Photography | Church: Saints Peter and Paul Catholic Church in Howells, Nebraska | Reception Venue: Howells Ballroom in Howells, Nebraska | Rings: Borsheims | Flowers: Stitches and Petals | Caterer: Terri Belina | Brides dress: Nebraska Bridal | Bride’s veil: ieie Bridal | Bridesmaid dresses: David’s Bridal | Groom/Groomsmens’ Attire: Schmitt’s | Cake Baker: Alice Bayer, Family | Hairstylist: Makayla Geist, Friend | Makeup artist: Erin Dostal, Friend | Reception music: A-Z Music Productions | Bridal bouquet turned to rosary: rosariesfromflowers.com

Lost for Words? Tips for Writing a Wedding-Day Letter

Are you and your husband-to-be planning to exchange letters on your wedding day?

If you’ve ever watched a wedding video featuring the contents of letters the bride and groom have written, cried, then wondered how yours will measure up, you aren’t the only one. But in short, don’t wonder.

Photography: Gray Door Photography, courtesy of Sarah Ann Design

Just as you, your future husband, your love story, and relationship are unique, so too will be the matters the Lord brings up in your hearts in the days leading to your wedding. That’s a good thing! Trust, therefore, that when you write to your spouse in a spirit of prayer and honesty, your words will be significant simply because they’re your own, and perfectly suited to each other’s needs at the present moment with the Holy Spirit’s guidance. Yet the task often still feels daunting; on the first day of your life together, rich with all the emotions and anticipation surrounding your marriage, it’s natural to feel like the pressure’s on.

Here, our advice for ridding yourself of any sense of pressure, comparison, or obligation and getting the words deep in your heart up to the surface and onto paper.

Write freely. Literally.

Freewriting is a technique wherein you write without stopping, getting your thoughts down stream-of-consciousness style, for a designated amount of time. For the moment, you can ignore spelling, grammar, and organization. If, during the time period, you can’t think of what to write next, you keep your pen to the page or fingers to the keyboard anyway. Repeatedly writing a short phrase, drawing a continuous line, across the page, or tapping the keys at random are all effective ways to do this; the underlying idea is that so long as you remain in the mode of writing, words will eventually come. And they do!

A freewrite (consider trying it before the Blessed Sacrament) can be immensely helpful in producing a first draft of your wedding letter. Because you’re continuously writing, there’s no time to feel paralyzed by what to say next or to worry that each paragraph need be perfect before moving on to another idea. From that raw material, you can then order your thoughts and revise for style and word choice.

Make peace with your expectations.

If the last-minute pressures of planning have taken a toll on your emotional and spiritual state, don’t push those feelings aside; enter in, and dare to express them. A wedding letter filled with nothing but bridal bliss might sound ideal, and that’s wonderful if it’s what you’re experiencing. But if you aren’t, rest in the knowledge your husband-to-be isn’t interested in an idealized version of you, but the reality of you. Know that it’s alright not to feel constantly happy and free from stress. Be honest about your struggles, and state your hopes for the ways you and your husband will support and pray for each other throughout your marriage, particularly during times of difficulty.

Consider writing a prayer.

Your letter can take the form of a prayer for your life together, and can be as formal or informal as you’d like. You might consider what values and missions you’d particularly like to embody in your marriage and script a prayer you can read or say together before your Mass and on into your married life, one that will become a part of your family culture. Alternatively, if you enjoy journaling as a form of prayer, consider sharing in your letter some of the musings and intentions you’ve recently written about, or address your letter to God as a prayer of thanksgiving and intercession for your spouse.

Don’t worry about the word count.

Did you ever find yourself with a five-page college writing assignment, max out at page three, then struggle to fill the rest of the requirement, knowing all the while you were weakening instead of strengthening your paper? Some of us are more loquacious, others less wordy. Remember that your wedding letter is the furthest thing from a graded assignment, so strive to feel comfortable with however much or little you’d like to say. If, for instance, you express all you’d like to within just a paragraph or two, rather than the long missive you might’ve initially envisioned, be at peace. When you don’t feel like anything is missing, you’ll know you’ve written the right amount for you, however long or short your letter might be.

Above all, as you compose your letter, remember the Word himself, become flesh for the life of the world. Earthly marriage, too, makes real his incarnate love; a reality so profound the Word can leave us speechless.

Reflections on 10 Years of Marriage

ANDI COMPTON

By the grace of God, my husband Matt and I have now been married for 10 years. We were married on one of Our Lady's feast days, and she really took care of all the details that day and throughout our honeymoon. Twenty-one year old Andi had no idea what the next decade of her life would bring, but standing here on the other side, I’d love to share with you some insights I’ve gained through it all.

Pray for each other unceasingly.

Thank God on your knees for the gift of your spouse and your vocation. Invite him into your decisions, large and small. Even a simple prayer of, “Lord, help me be a good steward of our money while I grocery shop” helps us keep God at the center of our thoughts and reminds us where all our blessings flow from.

There will be seasons.

Some years are just amazing, completely full of grace and tangible joy. Others have felt like overwhelming dark valleys where we’re just barely hanging on together. This is why I love the part in the traditional vows where we promised to love each other for better or worse. Because there really will be better and worse days and seasons.
 

Stay close to the Church.

Make Sunday Mass, Holy Days, and confession a priority for your family. Even on vacation. Even when you have to split up and take kids to different masses. Even when it seems pointless, just go and give yourself to God. Try to go to confession once a month and make a date out of it. If it becomes a habit now, it’s much easier to incorporate kids into the routine later on.

New identities and roles take time to get used to.

It takes awhile getting settled into a new identity as a wife (or a husband) and to set healthy boundaries with family and friends. It’s all trial and error. For me, the two hardest adjustments were learning how to have a roommate and checking in with my husband before making large purchases. As an only child who lived at home until marriage, I’d never really learned how to share my space with others, and I had no idea of all the work it takes to take care of a home (bills, maintenance, cleaning, cooking, and more). I even joked with Matt that we should just get a bunk bed so I didn’t have to share my bed with him. Fast forward to ten years later and I can’t sleep if he’s not there!

Embrace NFP, especially when it's hard to do.

Natural Family Planning has been a real gift to us despite it being something so counter cultural and, some days, a huge spiritual battle for me to want to stick with it. Every couple will have a different experience during different seasons, and I want you to know that it’s okay.

Some couples will choose never to use NFP, joyfully accepting children if and when they come. Others will struggle immensely to abstain during fertile times but know it’s a cross they have to bear for a season. And then there will be those who honestly don’t struggle as much with abstinence and, due to circumstances have to abstain for months or years at a time. I’ve experienced all of the above situations and it’s likely you and your spouse will encounter a wide range of emotions towards how God is calling you to use NFP for the moment. And that's alright.

So long as we hold to the truth that God is in charge of our families, use our best discernment through prayer--individually and as a couple--and bring in a spiritual director if needed, we can make the best decisions for our families.

Learn to be vulnerable.

It takes time and patience to trust another person 100% with your spiritual life, emotions, sexuality, possessions, and the parts of your personality the rest of the world doesn’t see. There have been times in our marriage where that trust has been broken, and when we had to show love for one another by asking forgiveness and working towards complete vulnerability once again. Couples therapy can be a wonderful tool, and there is absolutely no shame in asking for help when you need it.

I think the wedding toast we’ve prepared for our kids pretty much sums up our thoughts on marriage: “May you be a slave to one another, but most of all to Christ.”

What’s one thing you’ve learned in your months or years of marriage that you’d like to share with other brides and wives?

Photography: Rae and Michael Photography | Shoot Location: Rancho Buena Vista Park, Vista, CA | Cake: Mili's Sweets | Andi's Apparel: Shirt, J. Crew. Necklace, Loft. Dress, Adrianna Papell. Shoes, Sam Edelman.

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About the Author: Andi Compton is Spoken Bride's Business Director. She is the owner of Now That's a Party where she coordinates weddings, fundraising galas, and social events. Read more

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Susanna + Brad | Italian Vineyard-Inspired Wedding

We are honored by the opportunity to walk alongside you in this marriage ministry, from Yes to I Do and beyond, and we love returning to our couples' stories as they continue to unfold. If we've featured your love story in our How He Asked engagement series and you now feel called to share your wedding with us, as well, submission details can be found here.

Revisit Susanna and Brad’s testimony and proposal here, then read on for the details of their Green Bay wedding day, rich with the significance of vocation and the Church’s universal call to holiness for husbands and wives, priests, and religious.

Susanna and Brad had dated once before and broken up, but remained friends. Two years later--not long after a trip to Rome as friends, to attend a diaconate ordination--Susanna began a novena to Saint Joseph for her future husband. On the last day, as she turned from a statue of Joseph, she saw Brad in the chapel and sense he’d ask her out again. The following year, at the end of a stone breakwater in the rain, Brad gave Susanna a letter and got down on one knee.

From the Bride: Rome has played an important role in our relationship: Brad and I had been in Rome for a friend’s diaconate ordination two year prior, shortly before we began dating, and our friend, now a priest, celebrated our Nuptial Mass. And just two weeks before our wedding, we’d returned to the eternal city for Brad’s brother’s Diaconate Ordination

On the first of those two trips, we visited Madonna del Latte, a vineyard in Orvieto. This vineyard would provide us with the image we would reflect on throughout our engagement, our wedding day, and in our marriage.

Madonna del Latte got its name from a beautiful picture of Mary breastfeeding baby Jesus; its intricate logo includes the Latin monogram of the Virgin Mary, letters “A” and “M” meaning Auspice Maria (“under the protection of Mary”). On Valentines Day, during our engagement, I received a necklace Brad had designed, inspired by the vineyard’s logo. Brad said he hoped I could wear it on our wedding day. Not only did I wear the necklace, but we used used the monogram on our Save-the-Dates, wedding stationary, and Mass programs.

It was important to us that we focus on helping everyone enter into the beauty of the liturgy. We took notes from the article “Creating a Meaningful Wedding Mass Program” to help those we invited better understand what was happening and be able to participate more fully in the liturgy.

Just minutes before walking down the aisle, my immediate family joined hands as we came together in prayer, led by my dad. This moment was one of immense comfort, equipping me to walk down the aisle with confidence.

We were so excited to have my five nieces and two of Brad’s cousins as flower girls. Each of them carried a white rose down the aisle. These roses made up the bouquet Brad and I brought to the Blessed Mother during the Mass, asking her intercession right after becoming husband and wife. Our ring bearer, my nephew, brought up our wedding rings tied to a framed image of Our Lady of Czestochowa; a gift from our friend Father Michael, who was unable to attend.

In addition to the general intercessions, written by our good friend Sister Magnificat Rose with the Sisters of Life, who couldn’t be there, it was also important for us to ask the intercession of those in heaven by singing the Litany of the Saints. It served as a reminder that the Church is a family, and those in heaven eagerly wait to join with us in prayer; we are all one in the body of Christ. Among the saints we included were Saint Susanna, my namesake, and Saint Timothy, to honor Brad’s older brother who passed away at the age of three.

Of course our wedding day a celebration of Brad’s and my union in the sacrament of Holy Matrimony, but we also wanted the day to celebrate the sacrament of Holy Orders.

In Brad’s words, we can honor our priests by having a great marriage:

From the Groom: On the surface, marriage and the priesthood may seem like opposites. After all, one embraces the union of a man and woman, while the other embraces celibacy. It might seem that letting a priest see the joy in your marriage could be a sort of ‘taunting’ or ‘showing off’ of the good which he cannot have. However, this couldn’t be further from the truth.

Marriage is intended to be an earthly symbol of Christ’s love for us and of the hope we have of one day being united with our Creator in heaven. Our priests remain celibate in order to witness to this very same reality. By foregoing something that is so good, their lives point to something that is even better. In this way, the priesthood is inextricably tied to marriage.

The better witness our marriages are to the world of Christ’s love for us and for his Church, the more they proclaim the greatness of the priesthood.

St. John Paul II wrote in Familiaris Consortio that “when marriage is not esteemed, neither can consecrated virginity or celibacy exist; when human sexuality is not regarded as a great value given by the Creator, the renunciation of it for the sake of the kingdom of heaven loses its meaning.”

Our priests have renounced marriage for us and for the Church. Now it is our responsibility as the laity to live out marriages that witness to the goodness of the sacrament. This extols the dignity and greatness of the priesthood, and ultimately witnesses to the reality to which both marriage and the priesthood point: the incomprehensible love of Christ for the world.

Susanna: It was a joy to celebrate not only the vocation to married life, but also to priesthood and religious life. We were even blessed to work with vendors with honorable and holy mission statements. Our talented photographers, Katzie & Ben Nelson, are a husband and wife team whose life is fueled by their Catholic faith. Our delectable desserts were baked by From Above Youth Center & Bakery, a non-profit organization funded by donations and grants, which aids teens and people with special needs in developing vocational skills. A friend from our parish designed our stationary, and even our D.J., Josh McClure, asked how he could pray for us when we met with him to talk about reception music.

Now, as we endeavor on this first year of marriage, we pray that as husband and wife we actively live out well the words from the second reading we chose: “...Live in love, as Christ loved us” (Ephesians 5:2).

Photography: Katzie & Ben Photography http://www.katzieandben.com | Church: Saints Peter & Paul Catholic Church: 710 N Baird St, Green Bay, WI 54302 | Wedding Reception: Phoenix Rooms at University Union on the Campus of the University of Wisconsin Green Bay | Rings: Gold'n Treasures: http://www.goldn-treasures.com/ | Flowers: Schroeder Flowers http://www.schroederflowers.com/ 
Invitations/Stationery: Designed by our friend Shannon Nowak | Caterer: Chartwell Schools | Bride’s Dress: BHLDN (by Eddy K) | Bride’s Veil: BHLDN (From Paris by Debra Moreland) | Brides’ Shoes: DSW (badgley mischka) | Jewelry (Bride’s Necklace designed by Bradley Parent): Gold’n Treasures | Bridesmaids Attire: Adrianna Papell  | Groom’s Tux: Groomsmen’s Attire | Groom's Shoes: Allen Edmund's | Desserts: Oreo Truffles, Chocolate dipped peanut butter balls, mini champagne, chocolate, gluten free cupcakes: Carrie Zehms: From Above Youth Center & Catering http://www.fromaboveyouthcenterandbakery.com/ | Hairstylist: Kris Mollen at http://www.samsarahsalon.com | Makeup Artist: Janice McCarty at http://www.samsarahsalon.com/ | Reception Music: Josh McClure with Harmony DJ Entertainment: http://www.harmonydjentertainment.com/ | Wedding Coordinator: Bryant Ortega

An Anniversary + Our First Reader Survey!

Today we invite you to join in our mission by way of our first Reader Survey!

Two years ago this week, on the Feast of the Visitation, we launched this corner of the wedding world: a place rooted in sisterhood, unafraid of the raw and imperfect, in love with love and with beauty, knowing they provide only a glimpse of an even more loving, more beautiful Creator.

It’s entirely due to the work of the Holy Spirit and to each of you, our brides, that the Spoken Bride community has grown since that first day. We read and truly appreciate every submission, comment, and email and continually hold you in prayer. Your willingness to entrust your intentions to our team and community, to offer advice and support to like-minded women, and to give reverence and attention not just for the outer, but the inner, is a gift. It embodies our mission to make manifest the truth, beauty, and goodness of Catholic marriage--in all its joy and purification. Thank you.

We look forward to sharing more distinctively Catholic wedding-related content and joining you in prayer and witness over this coming year! We have big dreams for this ministry and a simple desire to serve you with resources best suited to your practical and spiritual needs.

To help us accomplish that, share your thoughts in the Reader Survey below. It’s our priority to create content and tools ideally suited to your heart and your particular needs as a Catholic bride,. We’re looking forward to hearing your voice!

Saint Joseph, Mary Most Holy, Saints Louis and Zelie Martin, pray for us.

Vendor Spotlight | Her Witness Photography

Much like a camera, the human eye has the ability to detect light, to open and shut as it processes an image, and to hone in on various focal points. Yet seeing goes far beyond the scientific. It’s the sense of emotion of and underlying, below-the-surface realities, that create the truest rendering.

Tara Heilingoetter graduated college with a BFA in Photgraphy and Imaging, then wondered: not what now, but how? How, she wondered, would she create impactful work with a purpose, using her camera to forge deep connections with others? It was true seeing she was after.

Tara began her photography business, Her Witness, intending to use her gifts as a means of capturing beauty; her mission is “creating art for the greater good.” “My faith,” says Tara, “plays a huge role in the mission of my business by providing an internal lens in that way I visualize the world. With whatever the subject matter may be, whether it's photographing the sacredness of marriage, documentary projects, or landscapes I aspire to capture it all in a way that is truthful, authentic and genuine.”

Seeing, really seeing, each human person in his or her uniqueness infuses even the more business-oriented aspects of Her Witness. Rooted in an understanding that each client, and their love story, is different from all others, Tara works to serve each of her couples on an individualized, personal basis, including in working together to create a photography package that best suits their needs and in getting to know them before their wedding day, the better to understand and capture who they are. Available for worldwide travel, with a portfolio of awe-inspiring travel images showcasing her talent and journeywoman’s spirit, Tara’s photojournalistic wedding images, self-described as “a fly on the wall approach,” allows who each bride and groom truly are to unfold in front of her camera in the most organic, emotional way. And in taking this unforced, documentary style approach, she’s able to reveal her clients to themselves, reflecting who they are before the Father.

From Tara: My approach [to photography ] allows me to capture authentic and raw emotions leaving photographs feeling organic, yet timeless. From initial interactions, to the candid forgotten moments, pretty packaging or the one year anniversary card. Her Witness is all about the small details making each couple feel cherished. My work and work ethic is inspired 100% by my Catholic faith. My faith gives me eyes to see the world through a lens of truth, beauty and goodness.

HER WITNESS PHOTOGRAPHY | WEBSITE | INSTAGRAM

Angela + Lucas | Farmhouse-Inspired DIY Wedding

It started on the roof of a convent in Mexico. 

Angela and Lucas met on a medical mission trip with FOCUS as both prepared for their forthcoming missionary years with the organization. Text by text after returning home, spanning the miles between Indiana and Colorado, each realized a uniquely attractive depth and character in the other. They began a long-distance relationship punctuated by letters, phone calls, and occasional visits.

 The following summer, Lucas went on pilgrimage in Poland. Angela participated in another mission, this time to the Philippines. Upon their return stateside, Lucas invited Angela to a Wisconsin shrine of Our Lady of Guadalupe, to whom they share a devotion that began during their time in Mexico. There on a hillside, at Our Lady’s feet, Lucas proposed.

From The Bride: The Nuptial Mass was the center of our wedding day, and I am glad we put so much of our focus there. Our relationship is founded on a love for Jesus Christ and his Church, so the Mass was the most important and special part of our day. We also chose Soul Creations as our photographer because the owner, Sinikka, is Catholic and familiar with the Mass. She was able to beautifully capture it.  

We chose Mass parts we loved while hoping to share the beauty of the Mass with those attending. Not all of our friends and family are Catholic, so we hoped to be instruments of an encounter with our Lord for them. Everything from the Worship Aid to the petitions was considered from the perspective of a new-to-Mass attendee. Praise God for the truth, beauty and goodness of the Church.

 Our Lady is of particular importance to us, and we wanted to offer great thanksgiving for her motherly hand. I walked in to an organ rendition of the Salve Regina. Our Gospel reading was the Wedding Feast at Cana, where Mary gently guides us all to do whatever Jesus tells us. We presented flowers to Our Lady of Guadalupe and the Holy Family while my good friend and talented vocalist Kelly sang the Ave Maria-it was the one part of the Mass that made me weep!

 We chose a white and neutral aesthetic, inspired by the image of heaven. With white and gold as our main colors, we found bridesmaid and groomsman attire that looked great on everyone, simple yet beautiful flowers, and many DIY projects. We did not want the look of anything to appear overbearing, but natural and simple, highlighting the beauty of those in our wedding party and the natural elegance of the church where we held the Mass.

 I loved the way my dress fit with our intentions for the theme. The cathedral-length veil and the long train fit very nicely in the church; simple yet elegant.

I’d originally hoped for our reception to be held in a simple barn, but little did I know they were such a hot commodity and not as budget-friendly as I’d hoped. We also wanted to serve our own food--homemade by Lucas' incredibly talented family--and most venues didn’t permit outside catering. So, we ultimately chose a hall. At first look, it was a bare and resembled a gymnasium, but our decorations upped the elegance. Much of the inspiration was my own. Some items, like the flower hoops over our head table, were Pinterest re-creations. Other elements, like the pallet décor, were made of found items. You never know what you’ll find for projects.

I must totally credit the generosity of Lucas’s family for providing the best food ever! They let Lucas and I help make tamales with them one day before the wedding, and my family learned so much during an afternoon of laughs, instructions from Lucas' grandmother, and bonding with family members.

We had a mariachi band that started the night with dancing and singing before the bridal party even arrived. The father-daughter dance was special to us and so much fun! My dad is certainly not the sappy, emotional type. My family has a great love for Chicago Cubs baseball, so we decided to dance to their signature anthem, “Go Cubs Go,” which was perfect.

The best way for me to describe our wedding day is in the words of our opening hymn, "O God Beyond All Praising." We are beyond blessed by our heavenly, Father through the intercession of our Mother Mary. Together they brought us to the altar, after introducing us in such a surprising and unforeseen way before our FOCUS missionary service. Our wedding day was a great celebration of thanksgiving for the goodness they have given us in loving one another.

It was also a time of thanks for the conversion of our own hearts. We both know deeply that we have done nothing to deserve this goodness, yet it has been freely given to us as a gift from our loving Father, a fact that still causes me great wonder. Through the working of the Holy Spirit, our wedding day was one of great witness to our family and friends of the love we have for the Church and the joy that comes from living the Gospel! We were so blessed to have a Catholic and non-Catholic bridal party, bringing people from every sector of our lives to celebrate together. It was awe-inspiring to see the young Church alive in the pews and in celebration at the reception.

Most of all, in reflecting on our wedding day, I thank God for a husband who loves God more than me, who desires to pursue holiness with every ounce of his being, and who loves me without reserve, especially now that we've started our little family.

I frequently echo the words of Our Lady: He has done great things for me, and Holy is His name. Praise Him!

View Angela and Lucas's DIY projects up close, and hear Angela's how-tos, here.

Photography: Soul Creations Photography | Church: St. John the Evangelist Catholic Church, Indianapolis, IN | Wedding Reception Venue : McGowan Hall, Knights of Columbus, Indianapolis, IN | Rings: Reis Nichols, reisnichols.com | Flowers: Ayers Wholesale Flowers | Dress: Blushing Bride on 17 | Shoes: Toms | Bridesmaids Dresses: David's Bridal | Groom / Groomsmen Attire: Jos A Banks | Cake: Classic Cakes | Hairstylist: Fringe Salon | Makeup Artist: Fringe Salon  | Music / DJ: Complete Weddings and Events | Planning / Coordination: Courtney Roach

He Invites Us: Developing a Healthy Attitude Towards Chastity

STEPHANIE CALIS

I spent my engagement on a year of service, speaking about chastity to middle and high school students. It was...a time of paradox.

Photography: Du Castel Photography, seen in Heather + Jude | Bohemian Bayside Wedding

Talking to five classes a day about reserving sexual intimacy for marriage while being tempted to do the opposite. Advising seventh graders to draw physical boundaries at simple kisses while navigating the more complicated boundaries of being in a serious, yet chaste relationship in your twenties. A crucible of formation and prayer wracked with frequent attacks. Awaiting my wedding, a day I was pretty sure would be among the happiest of my life, while coming to terms with the awareness that even the most beautiful earthly gifts can be idols, just a flicker when compared to the fire of divine ones.

It felt good, in a way I hoped wasn’t prideful or self-glorifying, to share my story of having stuck around too long in the wrong relationship for me, one in which I let myself be used, of writing stacks of letters to my future husband, and finding even my biggest dreams insufficient to the reality of the man I would marry; someone so sacrificial, self-giving, and pure of heart. The girls I spoke to sometimes cheered when I revealed all the letters I’d written would be a surprise for my husband-to-be in a matter of months. “And then,” said one student, “you’ll be married and you won’t have to worry about chastity anymore.”

I paused. Her words, though clearly rooted in a place of innocence and good will, didn’t sit right. But I couldn’t immediately explain why. I bumbled through an explanation that chastity doesn’t end in marriage, feeling the frustration of what seemed like a missed opportunity. On the drive home, I challenged myself to better articulate exactly why it doesn’t.

If chastity is not defined as mere abstinence, not just a list of no's but as sexual self-control for the sake of freedom and authentic love, so that your yes can be truly meaningful, of course it doesn’t end at the altar. Chastity embodies love that is free, faithful, total, and life-giving, so much so that the self-discipline and disposition to being a living gift--in whatever way that looks like, to your spouse and to others--spills over in the best way possible, changing not just your sex life, but your outlook on life in its entirety. Practically speaking, what’s the best way to do this, throughout engagement and on into marriage?

It’s natural, and so good, to anticipate the fullest physical expression of your love within marriage. Yet my thoughts on that drive home, and in the months and years since, have emphasized to me the importance of viewing that anticipation in a healthy way. I realized the notion of abandoning chaste love after marriage could easily encourage a white-knuckle attitude of just “making it through” times of abstinence, could make an idol of sex, and could become a crutch enabling a lack of self-control.

I wanted something more for my relationship: true freedom to give of myself instead of license to do whatever I wanted, a healthy perspective and respect for the gift of our sexuality instead of elevating it out of proportion as a highest, pleasure-focused good.

If, like I did, you find yourself still refining your view of abstinence, chastity, and anticipation during engagement, I encourage you to pray for a spirit of reverence in your physical relationship. Don’t feel discouraged if you recognize the need for a shift in perspective, but fortified and resolved. Authentic love and freedom aren’t a destination, but a long path. One on which we still might stumble, yet one far more exhilarating and alive than any other journey.

Your walk up the aisle is, quite literally, a walk toward Calvary: the image of a life poured out and given without reservation, for the sake of pure love. Ask for the grace to give of your own life in the same way; to imitate and embody the love of the Cross. Christ gave entirely, and invites us to do the same. His Passion and love are just that: not a milestone to reach and then move on from, but a constant outpouring of self. An invitation. He awaits us, and our yes, always.

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About the Author: Stephanie Calis is Spoken Bride's Editor in Chief and Co-Founder. She is the author of INVITED: The Ultimate Catholic Wedding Planner (Pauline, 2016). Read more

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How and Why to Consider Bringing Examen Prayer into Your Relationship

Engagement is busy, and it’s noisy. You might be surprised, however, if you find that even after your wedding day, life still feels busy and noisy. Life’s demands and responsibilities never really cease; they simply change with our seasons in life. 

Photography: Meaghan Clare Photography, seen in Elise's Wedding: Why it Matters that We're Marrying in a Church

It’s a paradox of our perpetually-connected, phone-at-the-ready lives: solitude and quiet can feel like freedom, or they can feel like desperation. Stillness doesn’t always come naturally, yet it can be developed. Whether your prayer life currently feels central or whether you’re looking for direction to guide your thoughts, incorporating Examen prayer might provide a link between a desire for self-reflection and figuring out exactly how you might bring that reflection about.

Rooted in Ignatian spirituality, an examen is a form of guided prayer that prompts reflection over the events of your day, instances of strength and weakness in your actions, and, above all, gratitude for and attention to the ways the Father is at work in your life. All self-knowledge, for better and for worse, is a grace; the Lord inviting us to consider ways we can best put ourselves at the service of love for him and for those in our lives. Gift.

This sense of service and self-gift takes on particular resonance in the vocation to marriage: you’re accountable not only to yourself and to God, but to your spouse. Developing a sense of attention to the blessings of your shared life, and to areas in which the Lord is gently prompting us to grow, can only bear fruit in your relationship. Consider committing to a week, a month, or more of bringing an examen into your prayer ritual, with time to share the movements within your hearts. You might spend this time before parting ways for the night if you’re engaged, or after dinner, before beginning your evening chores and leisure if you’re married.

There are a wealth of resources with suggested text and prompts for your examen, which means with time, you’re likely to find a particular version that’s well-suited to your spirituality as a couple. All examen prayer follows a general structure of giving thanks, bringing your petitions before the Father, reviewing your day and meditating on his hand in it (this part might take the longest), asking forgiveness for your shortcomings and meditating on the mercy of God, and looking to the following day with a sense of resolve and and renewal.

In light of you and your beloved, it’s helpful to consider the ways the Lord has shown himself in the time you’ve spent together during the day and in the ways you’ve shown, or fallen short in showing, his love to one another. As a starting point, we recommend this examen with meditations from Scripture and Saint Ignatius’s Spiritual Exercises and Fr. Michael Gaitley’s “BAKER” prayer that invites particular contemplation of Jesus’ merciful love.

Saint Ignatius prayed, “Take, Lord, and receive all my liberty, my memory, my understanding, and my entire will, all I have and call my own. You have given all to me. To you, Lord, I return it. Everything is yours; do with it what you will. Give me only your love and your grace, that is enough for me.” May you and your beloved, together, enter more deeply into his love and the gifts he so desires to bestow on your relationship.

Heather + Matthew | Rustic Family Wedding

Matthew was the man in the pew in front of Heather each Sunday at Mass, leading his three little girls in the faith. He often turned to greet Heather and her own three daughters with a smile and handshake. It was Heather’s six-year-old who fell in love with Matthew first, saying that man up there in the pew was the one her mama would marry.

From the Bride: It took a little under a year, the involvement of our priest, and of countless friends from our church community to finally bring Matthew and I together.

After 6 months of waiting and watching and one failed first date, we had our "second first date" and clicked. Just four months later, Matthew was down on one knee in front of me our six girls, in the chapel of local seminary, asking me for my hand in marriage.

And now we are a family of eight, married by the priest who first felt compelled to bring us together, along with our current priest and in front of 350 of our closest friends and family members.

Our wedding, planned in just eight weeks time, felt almost like what I imagine weddings used to be like: people came out of the woodwork to bring it together for us. Over 40 friends brought homemade dishes for our potluck-style reception. A college classmate, turned baker, created the most beautiful cake shaped like a birch tree in honor of my groom’s arborist career.

A dear friend and part-time photographer captured the day’s memories in a way no outsider would have been able to.

More friends from church, a dear young couple expecting their first baby boy, handled our music; I walked down the aisle to Chris Tomlin's “Good Good Father.”

And at the center of it all was our Lord. The Father that had brought us through some of the most unimaginable storms was fully present in the sacrament we exchanged. The love between us, our daughters, and our heavenly Father was palpable that day, and I believe it will carry us through the years ahead.

Overwhelmingly I felt our Father's love. It all just made sense in that moment. The years of pain and heartache, the questioning, the brokenness, all came together in a picture I could have never envisioned. He led us here.

Photography: MessyFace | Church: St John Neumann Catholic Church Sunbury, OH | Reception: St. John Neumann Catholic Church Sunbury, OH | Flowers: Maple Lee Flowers | Dress: Gabriele Bridal
 

A DIY Bouquet for Literature-Loving Brides

LAUREN HENDERSON

"Can you give me your bouquet for a moment?" asked the Lorax-mustachioed priest at our wedding Mass. I was surprised and a tad embarrassed; I don't love attention, even on my wedding day.

Photography: Jocelyn's Photography, from the author's wedding

My bouquet had caught many eyes, including our priest's, because it wasn't made of flowers. I’d created it from the pages of books. Our priest asked for my bouquet during the homily. I handed it over and he started to ad lib about how the novels whose pages I included were symbolic of my husband and I. These books, The Fault in Our Stars by John Green and Me Before You by Jojo Moyes (barring its problematic ending), reminded me of how open my husband and I are with each other and how we love doing unusual things together. We each make the other better and are always working at our relationship. Books, said our priest, can already be good as their own entitiesu. But when transformed by marriage and by God, they can become something even more beautiful--like my bouquet.

Two people, their own individuals, become one new entity in marriage, better than they could be alone. How much more beautiful and meaningful could marriage get?

Truthfully, I didn’t think anyone would really care about my bouquet. In fact, when friends and family members heard about the DIY project I’d planned, they did the polite head nodding thing while saying “Oh, that sounds interesting,” which almost always actually means, “Okay, good luck with that.” I continued anyway, a sucker for meaningful things.

Practically, I created this bouquet because I was getting married in February in the Midwest, where fresh flowers would have cost an arm and a leg. But I also did it because my husband and I read The Fault in Our Stars together in our early days of dating. We both identified with the characters' interactions. I love personalizing everything I can and creating meaningful moments. I chose my bouquet as an opportunity to personalize our wedding liturgy.

I bought the books and began tearing out their pages, cutting out petal shapes, and wrapping them around floral wire. It was a long process, yet incredibly worth it--it is something I can keep forever. After the wedding, a friend asked if she could write about it for Reader's Digest in an article about alternative wedding bouquets. I was honored, and sort of stunned that my simple bouquet would reach the amount of people it did.

But isn’t this like marriage? A marriage is hard work: lots of menial tasks, yet so full of sacred meaning. A marriage starts with something ordinary, like a book or like two independent people, and makes it into something extraordinary, like a bouquet or one in the eyes of God. And then these two people go out together and serve. So without trying to, or seeking it, God taught us and our wedding guests the meaning and the call of marriage: to join together and create something extraordinary.

Let God work through your creativity. After all, he is the creator of all life.

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About the Author: Lauren Henderson is a newlywed and convert to the Catholic faith who loves cooking, baking, reading, and singing in the car. She studied Psychology in college and enjoys guessing whodunit in mystery shows. A lover of children, she cannot wait to be a mother someday. Lauren and her husband host the podcast God Winks and the Kitchen Sink.

PODCAST | INSTAGRAM